Month 14

Dear Boo Bear:

You turned 14 months old today and are growing and learning so many new things everyday. First off, I still call you Boo Bear here most of the time, but in reality we call you Boo Ba mostly. I don't know how, but it stuck. Sorry kid, at least it isn't Shooter like your father calls me or Bean which is what my parents called me.

We have been having a rough couple of weeks. You got your first ear infections (both ears) last week. I knew you were sick because you let me hold you all day which you will normally only tolerate for about 30 seconds unless its really your choice, like when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner. You have handled being sick so well and I am so blessed with your temperment. I have also been blessed this week with my first bout of strep throat since about 1995. Fun stuff. Needless to say, our patience levels on both sides have been waning.

You are never without something in both of your hands. You like to walk around with say a toy in one hand and my deoderant in the other. Or my bra in one hand and myy underwear in the other. (No comments about my unders laying around)You are in constant motion, always from one place to the next, stopping only to pick something up or put something down.

You have started saying some "words" lately. Your favorite of course corresponding with your favorite food, bananas. You will sit under the counter where we keep the bananas and say "na, na" or will hold out while you are eating something else, hoping that if you don't eat what is set before you, I will give you a banana. I had to withhold them for a couple of days because you were getting so no matter what I fed you, you would refuse to eat it and sit your high chair saying, "na" over and over.

You have finally started saying bye bye, but only after the person has already left the room or your site. It's more close to "ba ba", but none the less, it's a farewell. You have continued to use "Gah" for all things animal, especially cats, but also for all other animals. You have started saying "baa" for bird though, I think. You have also started stringing the sound "ca" together over and over, "cacacacacaca". That's a lot of caca.

My favorite thing you say right now though has got to be when I ask you what the cow says and you say, "maaooo."

Melts my heart that right there. Of course, that is also what the cat says and the dog says and the pig and so on, but that's okay, it's so darn cute.

You are great at playing by yourself most of the time and will pull toys out of your toybox and bring them to me to show me. You love to open up books, put something inside them and then close the book on whatever it is you have shoved in there.

You have a newfound love for closing doors as well, along with cabinets and drawers. I encourage this most of the time, except for when you go into the dark laundry room and close me out. That big iron coat rack would hurt if it fell on you. You don't seem to mind the dark or the aloneness though and will promplty run to the other side of the room after you close the door.

You are really beginning to understand more lately. Yesterday I told you to go get your cup off the chair in the kitchen and you walked right over there and did it. I just kind of sat there with my mouth hanging open. I know you understand more than you let on too, you little stinker.

Lately one of my biggest patience drainers has been this scream you like to do. It's to get my attention it seems like, but you do it a lot when I am changing your diaper. It's a short, very loud, agh and you do it repeatedly, wearing me out completely. I have tried telling you "no" in a stern voice. I have tried telling you quiet voice while showing you what a quiet voice is. I have tried giving you a little pop on your butt and even (no so proud of this one) squeezing your cheeks. I have also tried the ignore it approach and in the car, the turn up the radio really loud approach. Nothing works. I know consistency is key, so I am really working on the quiet voice approach, but girl you are killing me with the screaming, especially right now with my aching head and 100 degree fever. I try to realize that you are having trouble communicating your needs and wants right now, but let's work on something else, please.

You are growing so fast and I can't believe we've come so far so fast. To think a year and a half ago, you were just a bump in my belly, an imagined dream and now you are so real. Your smile, with your 7-8 teeth is so cute, cashiers everywhere comment on it. At least now I know I'm not totally biased. Your laugh is the best sound in the world and I wish I could hear it more. You love to watch your daddy kick things around the room. This never fails to get a laugh out of you. You also love to jump around on the bed and will wear yourself out going from one side of our bed to the other, climbing over pillows and plopping yourself down face first.

I am so torn between work and being a mom and a wife and I feel like I don't always give you the best that I can. I'm sorry baby, I will always try to do better. Please forgive me for the times that I'm a bad mommy. Know that I love you very much and will do anything for you.

Love,
Mama

One Whole Year

Dear Boo Bear,

The past year has been the most... well, everything. It has been the hardest and the easiest year of my life. I has been the happiest of my life because I have gotten to spend every day with you. A year ago today, my world became something I could never have prepared for and never could have imagined. The love you have brought to my heart is bigger than anyone can comprehend prior to having children. Your birth was a wonderful experience for me and bringing you into this world was the best thing I have ever done.

In the past couple of months, you have really made the jump from a baby to a little girl. You have grown so much and sometimes as I look down at you while you are nursing, it feels like I am nursing a two year old. You are very tall and thin and I can't wait to see how you have grown at your year check up.

Right after Christmas you started walking and we are now the proud parents of a true toddler. You love to walk. You like being able to move towards what you want much faster. You still revert to your crab crawl when you really want to book it, but you prefer to move on two feet now. You do still spend a lot of time on your rear end, but you pop right back up and keep going. You are still in the baby Frankenstein phase, but I can see it won't be long before you are running.

You are a really good eater and until recently seemed to eat as much as me and your father at meal times. You have slowed down recently, just in time to begin weaning, which of course worries me. But all in due time. You love meat and pasta goldfish, cheese, crackers and oatmeal. Not so much the veggies and the fruit, but you will eat it if I put only that on your plate. You clench your mouth shut and turn your nose up in a sort of pucker when you are done or don't want what I am trying to feed you.

You are such a happy child. We are so blessed with you for so many reasons. You are constantly smiling and babbling to yourself. You insist on being the center of attention and when you aren't, you let out a scream that makes sure that all eyes are on you. You have quite a voice and are not afraid to use it. Many times you are screeching just for the sheer enjoyment. Your enjoyment, not mine. When we take you out in public, you smile and talk to anyone who will so much as glance in your direction. And if they are paying no attention to you at all, you screech so that they will and then you grin. On occassion you will pretend to be shy and you make the cutest face as you bury your head in my chest. It's a very coy look that says, "I'm pretending to be shy." You are not shy at all in reality. You will go to anyone if they just hold out their arms to you and talk to anybody who will listen and make those who are not listening, pay attention to you.

You hate being told no and if you really don't like what I am telling you no about, you scream and sometimes it is so hard not to laugh. Your face goes through 100 different emotions as you try to figure out whether to cry or not and then you let out a scream that could wake the dead. Ironically when I tell you no for screaming loud for no reason, you scream even louder when you start crying.

You love, love the cat and will babble in his direction if you see him through the back window in the living room. You call Tigger "Ga" and sometimes even seem to be saying "kitty." You have various books with cats in them and anytime I open a book to the page with a cat on it, you immediately grin and start babbling.

You have the attention span of a normal child your age I suppose. You are constantly moving, never sitting still. Even when you hurt yourself, you won't let me simply hold you to console you, you try to wiggle free while you are crying. We have never read a whole book, because generally you will sit still long enough for me to read about a half a word and then you grab the book from me and play with it. You have no interest in me reading to you, but sometimes try reading to yourself. Especially if there is a cat.

This morning as I put on my makeup, you confiscated a piece of paper off the counter. For a good 10 minutes I watched as you walked from the bathroom to the bedroom window and then back again. You did this repeatedly for ten minutes like it was a bedroom/bathroom relay. It was cute. You are cute.

My little boo ba, boo bear, poo bear, ba ba, vannah boo, Savannah pants, my little girl, I love you so much and hope that you always know that. I look forward to what the next year brings and the next and the next and the next. All of them, until you turn 13 and then we might have to re-evaluate. I look forward to all the years we have together for they are blessed years. I love you my dear little girl, I love you. Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mama