Friday, December 30, 2005

Calling all Mommies and Daddies

I want to hear your birth stories. Leave a comment or post on your own site and leave a comment telling me you posted. I want to hear what it was like when you first went into labor. What was it like on your trip to the hospital or to the bedroom if you stayed at home? How did you deal with the pain? What was it like the first moment you saw your baby? Tell me all about it. Daddies, give me your perspective on the whole birth experience. How was it for you?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Since you are probably wondering...

No baby yet. I go back to the doc today and will see where I am at. I still feel great mostly and still would like to wait until my Mom gets here next Wednesday, but whenever this baby is ready, we are. The new moon is this weekend, so hopefully we can make it through that until next week. My mom arrives on Wednesday. Which is a really busy day. I'm not sure what time she comes in, but the Rose Bowl is that day, Hook Em! and I hope to be watching some of that.

In other news...
Christmas was wonderful. We stayed at our house and my MIL and Grandmother in law came and stayed with us for 3 days over the holiday. We did Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and my Dad and Stepmom came up for dinner. It was nice having everyone at our house together celebrating the holiday. My Dad and Stepmom are Jewish, but they came up anyways because I wanted the family dinner all together. My brother went home with his girlfriend for Christmas, so we weren't going to do Hannukah on Sunday even, so it was nice to have as much family together as we had.

We just relaxed and had fun. I didn't have to lift a finger. My MIL and grandmother did all the cooking, cleaning and even some laundry.

Now I am just wrapping things up at work and waiting and waiting and waiting. Every pain or discomfort I get, I go, "Is this it?". I'm ready for the next step in the journey to motherhood. Bring it on.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Peace, Joy and Love to All

Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah. May you be with family and friends and be surrounded in love. May you be safe and happy and healthy this season. May all your wishes come true or at least one good gift be given and received.

God Bless!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

And she keeps on talking...

The light and fluffy first:

Doctor update.: 1 cm, 70% effaced, baby happy inside Mommy. Mommy happy about baby happy inside!

Regarding my post below. It was a moment in which I had something to say and I said it and I meant it. Well, now I have more to say. As many of you know, I am half Jewish and half Christian. The half that is Jewish is larger if I may say so in terms of my faith and belief, but the Christian half exists and is growing due to being married to a devout Christian. With that said, I don't want to cause any controversy and I completely respect the holiday that is Christmas. The majority of this country is Christian. Majority wins in general. I think it is a little late for the marketers and media who made Christmas into such a "Hallmark" holiday and the such are now trying to reverse that direction and try and take the real meaning out of it. Christmas is a national holiday. Has been for years. It has always been Christmas Vacation and find me a calendar anywhere that says "Holiday" on December 25th instead of Christmas, and well you can color me red and green and put me on the corner to sing. (???) Get over it.

Now being Jewish and at one time not being married to a devout Christian, I have always had a problem with the assumption by the general public that all people believe exactly as they do. I don't have a problem with people saying Merry Christmas at all. Never have. But for people to assume that one has the same religious beliefs as you is something that bothers me. I know that these two feelings conflict with each other. I really love the Christmas season, which also happens to be the Hannukah season, (Hannukah starts on Christmas day this year) but Jews don't go around assuming everyone else is celebrating Hannukah and wishing everyone a Happy Hannukah. No, Jews tend to reserve saying Happy Hannukah to people unless they know they are in fact Jewish and in fact celebrating that holiday. Again, the majority of this country is Christian and therefore, it might be a good assumption that the person next to you is in fact Christian and does in fact share your religious beliefs, but again, we are assuming something.

I liken it to someone walking around all day on their birthday wishing other people a happy birthday. Now I may be celebrating my birthday, but that doesn't mean you are celebrating yours. Probably quite a stretch I'm making there, but I think you get my drift.

So again, I do not have a problem with Christmas. I love Christmas. I celebrate Christmas. I also celebrate Hannukah. I respect that this country was founded on Christian (Judeo-Christian if I may) values and again, because the majority of this country is Christian, well majority tends to rule in most situations, so why should this be any different. For this reason, I personally choose to say Happy Holidays unless you have first told me Merry Christmas and then I will say it right back to you and mean every syllable.

So with all that silliness, I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, a Happy Kwanza or whatever this season means to you. I will not project my merriment of my holiday(s) on you if you do not want to be projectiled upon.

I'm just sayin'

Not to jump into the controversy fully, but if it looks like a Christmas tree, has twinkly or not twinkly white or colored lights, dependent on your choice. If it has ornaments and stars and presents under it - it's a Christmas Tree. Calling it a Holiday Tree is just stupid. If you believe in Christmas you call it a Christmas Tree. If you don't believe in Christmas, then you don't really call it anything. And if you are truly offended by a tree with round balls all over it? You have bigger problems to deal with.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Regardless of whether you believe in ducks or not.

I'm done... for now.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

out.... of.... breath

Is it just me or is it wrong to have to rest after putting on your socks and shoes? Hmm?

Just around the corner

Well, the end is drawing near. Or so they tell me. 37 weeks and counting. I am 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced and go back to the doctor tomorrow. I am very conflicted about this whole birth thing right now. You see, I really want this baby to wait until about January 5th to arrive. This is for a variety of reasons. One of which is that my Mother comes on the 4th. The main reason though is that I do not want my child to have to share his/her birthday with the holidays. My birthday is in December and too often it gets forgotten or glossed over or wrapped into the Christmas/Hannukah celebrations. People are traveling or are sick or are just plain wrapped up in their own holidays at this time of year, which is over course understandable. But I want to be able to have a birthday party for my child and have his/her friends be in town and able to attend. I don't want my child's birthday getting lost in the shuffle.

On the other hand, I cannot wait to meet this little one. I am dying to know if he/she is a he or a she and to start calling him/her by their rightful name. I'm not totally miserable yet, so I am not at the point where I am moaning, "get this baby out of me," but I am at the point where I want to go to the next step. I want to hold my baby and step through to the mommy side of life. I don't know that I am fully prepared for what comes next, but are we ever fully prepared for anything in life? I mean really, with so many unknowns and curve balls in this life, how can we ever truly be prepared? But I'm ready and willing and waiting for the time when the little one decides to make his/her appearance. Whenever that may be, Mommy is as ready as she can ever be.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Christmas Spirit Meme

Stolen from Cori. See, I can get into the Christmas Spirit!

1) What is your favorite Christmas scent? Pine Needles

2) What do you think is the most enjoyable thing to do in the snow? Sled

3) If you were a photographer who was given the chance to go back in history to capture a Christmas photograph, where would you go and what would it be? Hmmm... Maybe the first one ever.

4) Regardless of monetary value, what is the single most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received? I think this year's gift of my baby will be the most meaningful gift ever.

5) If, like Santa, you could take a night flight in a sleigh over any city in the world, which city would you choose? Taos, NM, because that is where my Mom, Sister and Nephews are.

6) What ingredients go into your favorite Christmas drink or beverage? Hot chocolate with a dash of peppermint schnapps (I agree with Cori)

7) Do you prefer blinking or non-blinking Christmas lights? All of the above.

8) Out of all the musical instruments, which one do you think is the most appropriate for the Christmas season? Bells

9) At Christmas time, which do you honestly enjoy more, giving or receiving? Giving

10) Do you have any ethnic or ancestral traditions that you honor during the Christmas season? Well, for Chanukah, we light the Menorah every year. For Christmas we don't really have any ancestral or ethnic traditions

11) Everyone in the office has been asked to place an ornament on the company Christmas tree that best represents him/herself. What would your ornament look like? An elephant. I collect them and so people associate them with me usually. And right now, I am as big as an elephant.

12) If you could spend Christmas in any European country, which one would it be? any one would do for me.

13) If snow could fall in any flavor, what flavor would you choose? A crisp vanilla, (again Cori's answer)

14) What is the longest line you can remember waiting in during the Christmas season? Right now they are all long. I'm a last minute shopper so I get stuck.

15) If you could indulge in only one type of cookie this holiday season, which cookie would you be eating a lot of? Just one, and if you could. Gimme cookies!

16) What gift have you wanted for years but still haven't received? Not sure. I have wanted a shower radio forever, but my parents gave me one this week for my birthday, so that's done.

17) What aspect of preparing for Christmas do you like the most? Decorating the tree and finding all of my favorite ornaments that my Mom has. Only at her house does this work. I love decorating the tree though.

18) What is your favorite Christmas decoration in your home (your tree doesn't count!). I have a cute little snowman with a carrot nose that I love.

19) If you had a great voice and could record a Christmas duet with any famous singer, whom would you choose as your singing partner? hahahahahaha, IF I had a great voice, hahahahaha

20) If you could take a scenic drive anywhere in America this holiday season, where would you most want to drive? Again, Taos, NM to see my nephews at Christmas.

21) What is the biggest change in your life since last Christmas? I'm about to have a baby. I'd say that's a pretty big change. I also in the last two months, started working from home and got a new car. Lots of change.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Cankles, Sausages, Belly and New Car Goodness All Rolled into one

Behold... the cankles and the sausage toes. I believe I am retaining all the water used to shoot The Perfect Storm. Agh. Note the nice little indentions where my fuzzy socks were.

And the belly. My shirt says Special Delivery. I love this shirt. 24 days left til due date!

And of course, my favorite picture of the day, my beautimous new car! I never thought I would drive something this nice, ever in my lifetime. Wowee Kazowee!

And so, my outlook on life is a little better than it was at 4:00 this morning when I wrote that depressing, ba humbug post below.

We are going to get our tree tonight and dammit I will enjoy it all! Ho, Ho, Ho!

Lazy/Ba Humbug Fa la la la la

This time of year always seems to get me in a funk. I don't know why and I try desparately to not let it happen. The holidays always seem to sneak up on me somehow. I say "holidays" because I in fact celebrate Hannukah and Christmas, so to me they are "holidays" as in multiples rather than an avoidance of the true nature of what Christmas is all about. (I'm tired of the atheists being offended by a God they don't believe in, but that is for another post.)

As a child Hannukah was always a time filled with fun and laughter and family. We had big family gatherings at my grandparents house and all eight days of Hannukah we were given gifts. As a kid, this of course is the best thing ever. My brother and I were fairly spoiled with gifts we had asked for and gifts we didn't even imagine to ask for, but that we loved. But, alas, I also got Christmas. Now the other side of my family, the side that celebrates Christmas, wasn't quite as high up on the economic scale and therefore the gifts were usually of a different level. But, Christmas was not without joy. Depending on which parent I was travelling to see of course.

Perhaps that is the core of my unhappiness at this time of year. From the time I was four, I have been flying back and forth between Texas and NM and sometimes Mexico or some other random place my Mother decided to move her nomadic self to, but generally it was New Mexico or Old Mexico. Never were the holidays a nice relaxing fun time. Invariably, my Mother would always search for the cheapest flights which of course meant leaving at un-Godly hours and layovers in airports across Texas. I know the inside of every airport between Houston and Albuquerque as well as the Cancun airport and the Belize Airport. Sometimes layovers would be hours long and other times, I would have to rush from gate 1 to gate 15438 at DFW in less than 15 minutes. As a 13 year old alone, dragging your luggage while crying through the airport on New Year's day (because of course that was the cheapest flight) is not a good childhood memory. I digress.

Christmas on that side of the world was usually filled with decorating the tree all together and remembering all our favorite ornaments as we pulled them out of their protective paper. In the good years, my sister and I would both be with my Mother and actually get to share in the holiday cheer. My gifts that I remember most usually consisted of books and practical things. My grandmother gave us each a book that looked like it had lived 1000 years, a slip of some sort and a variety of shampoos and lotions from hotels that she had visited. Our stockings always contained a piece of fruit. And for some reason, from the time we started wearing it, every year, I would get my sister make-up. This thought dawned on me the other day right before her visit. I don't know why I always bought her makeup. I would buy those big packs with all kinds of stuff in them. Perhaps I was remembering times when I wasn't beating her up and was actually doing sister things like doing her makeup and her hair. Perhaps, I wanted her to remember those times rather than the ones when I locked her in a room from the outside. Who knows, but I hope she never thought that I bought her all that crap because I thought she needed it. She doesn't. She is so beautiful and always has been.

I digress again. Now, for some reason this time of year is always so trying on me. Starting Thanksgiving weekend we have our wedding anniversary, my step-mother's birthday, and of course Thanksgiving. A couple of weeks later, we have my birthday, then my sister's birthday on the 21st and then of course Christmas. Normally Hannukah is thrown somewhere in the middle of December, but for added fun this year, it starts on Christmas Day. So needless to say, the holidays sneak up on me. Christmas/Hannukah are a little more than a week away and I have bought half of the gifts I need to, we have no tree and no real plans for the holiday other than I am trying to get all the family, Christian and Jewish alike to celebrate at our house, like never before, so that the dear pregnant woman does not have to travel across town, twice. Oh yes, did I mention that? I am 9.5 months pregnant. Add that to the mix, and I am a rolling ball of fun. The unknown of it all. When will this baby decide to come?

Every year at this time, we seem to have something big come up that causes hardship on us. Two years ago we got married Thanksgiving weekend. Not really a hardship, but anyone who has ever planned a wedding that included a mixed family, not only divorced, but religiously different as well as 250 guests, knows, that it is not exactly a day at the park. Last year at this time we bought a house and this year, well we are being forced to buy a car, which Insurance God's willing, will happen today. Throw into this mix, the setting up of a home office, with all the troubles that go along with it, hubby being gone on a three day business trip and the nursery, or rather the room with all the baby crap in it, has yet to be finished. And although I appreciate all the kindness my family has shown by doing things to make the nursery perfect, they are not done and I cannot control them and alas, it is driving me crazy, because WHAT IF THIS BABY COMES TOMORROW! Add in some other family drama or trauma, your choice and I just don't have it in me to be all holiday cheerful.

As an adult, and a now married, soon to be parent, I have always wanted the holidays to be a wonderful time, where we are happy and merry and the tree is up right after Thanksgiving and all is well. Where I buy the perfect gift for everyone, including those in my family who are impossible to shop for because they don't want anything, but they do, but it's only something really expensive and really difficult to buy. I want the big family sitting around the tree on Christmas morning, opening all of their perfect presents and the smell of pancakes in the background. I want the perfect little picture, but alas, I cannot build it. I'm too tired.

Last year when we went to pick out our tree, hubby and I got into a fight about which charity's we should donate to instead of buying each other gifts. We were fighting over charity! I won't go into the details... I had tears in my eyes as we picked out our tree. This year, we still have no tree and although we hope to go get it tonight, the idea of doing so after a day of buying a car, trying to finish shopping for gifts (whilst pulling the money for said gifts out of my ass) and trying to set up the printer/scanner/fax/copier that I finally got after working from home for two and half weeks, which of course didn't come with all the necesarry parts, well...the thought of going to buy a Christmas tree after all that, just makes me tired. And then the jaded part of me says, why bother? It will only be up for a two weeks at the most, or invariably, it will be up forever because this baby will decide to come smack in the middle of my holiday misery. Which of course if that happens, good, bad or indifferent, will of course make everything listed above a mute point and I will be happy to just have a healthy, happy baby.

So needless to say, I'm lacking in the holiday cheer department. I'm also writing this wonderful post at 4:30 in the morning and have to get up and be productive tomorrow, but hey, that's what I do these days. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and any other holiday you may celebrate. May you be having a wonderful, happy, funfilled time!

Friday, December 09, 2005

What a Wonderful Day!

After all my complaining, okay, minimal complaining about having to go into the office yesterday and despite my being up half the night, I had a pretty good day yesterday. My phone rang at 8:30 am and it was my Mom.

Mom: Guess What?
Me: What?
Mom: I'm coming to see you!
Me: What? When?
Mom: Saturday!
Me: (a little shell shocked, but okay) This Saturday?
Mom: Yes, and I'm bring your sister!
Me: What!!!?
Mom: Yep! And the boys!

My Mom, Sister and Twin Nephews will be here tomorrow and I'm so excited I can't stand it. I haven't seen the boys since they were a week and a half old or my sister since then. Mom I saw in September, but I'm glad to see her again before the baby comes. She will be back in less than a month when the baby is born, but she found a great round trip deal on airfare that should couldn't pass up. So I am going to have a great weekend!!!!!

I also went to the doctor yesterday and the little one is cooperating and is appropriately standing on his/her head. Last time he was mooning my crotch. I am happy that there will be no more laying upside down at a 45 degree angle to get the baby to turn. I only did it once, but it was a challenge getting into that position and it isn't very comfortable. I am also 1cm dilated, which for most of you, you know that means absolutely nothing. But I am just glad that he/she is head down. Also points to my doctor for not laughing her ass off when I handed her my four page birth plan. Technically, it is three pages and 5 lines...

It's Friday and I have been up since 5:00 AM. Yuck. I am ready to go back to bed now.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Mama no likey

Mama no likey the look of blogger at 3:00 AM. My first foray into middle of the night blogging is not all it's cracked up to be. You see, I actually have to get up and go into the office tomorrow. This entails taking a shower and putting on make up and clothes that make me look like a professional, not just rolling out of bed, getting dressed and walking into my office. In addition, we're supposed to have highs in the 30's. Highs, people. This is TX. And it's rainy and gross. So bonus points for me for having to go into the office on quite possibly the nastiest day of the year (winter-wise). Yippee for life's littlest challenges.

On another note, I get my car in a week (I hope!)!!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Where Do I Belong? (Don't answer that!)

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

Sweet Nephewy Goodness

I can't believe they are almost a year old!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Obsessive Planner

I consider myself a pretty laid back person. I like to plan though at least a little bit. I like to know what is coming up at least in the next couple of days or so. I don't particularly like getting caught off guard. I plan, I check the details and then I check them again. I was a planning crazy person for our wedding and I've gotten the bug again.

I know that I will really have no control over how this baby is born. It is up to the baby and Mother Nature really. But I have my ideas of what I want. So I did a birth plan. They say to do one these days if for no other reason than to show the hospital staff that you are educated about your options. I plan to share my birth plan with my doctor for sure and then have copies for the nurses at the hospital. But I may have gone a little overboard. The birth plan is 4 pages long. I might have to do a Cliff Notes version for the nurses. Too much?

Friday, December 02, 2005

Crib Help!

I am having a very difficult time getting a crib. I first registered for a crib at Babies R Us and then it was no longer in stock. So I picked another one from JC Penneys. They had it, but they don't keep cribs in the store and regardless of whether we had it shipped home or to the store, they wanted $130 just for shipping! So now I am on a search for a crib I like. I can find a crib I like, but it won't have all the things I want. I want (I think) at least one drop side. I want (I think) multiple mattress positions and I want a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then to a day bed/full size bed. Now, having never bought or used a crib, I may just think I want these things. So my questions goes out to you dear internet Mommies and Daddies.

What do I really need in a crib? Your suggestions and advice are much appreciated.