Dear Internet

It's been way too long since my last confession, I mean post. Life has been a little hectic, but isn't that always the case.

The past two weeks have been a roller coaster ride of mass proportions. The kind of ride that leaves you feeling spent and not quite sure you enjoyed it at all. The week before Mother's Day I got a call on Wednesday that my grandmother had fallen again. She was okay, didn't break anything, thanks to God, but her mental state was not good. She is still in a lot of pain from her hip replacement in October and the move to NM was hard on her. My sister said she was telling people good-bye, so Boo Bear and I hopped on a plane that day and went to see her. My grandmother has always been a major influence in my life, whether I realized it or not. As a child, I would visit her and my grandfather at their lake house in Austin. I loved that house. I felt safe and comfortable in that house. We would swim in the lake and go out on the boat and jump of the docks and fish. Grandpa and I would go dig in the garden for worms and then head down the 100 steps to the dock. I would bait my hook and drop it in the water and when I caught the fish, grandpa would take it off the hook for me. I didn't like touching the fish, so grandpa always had to do that part, but I could bait that hook!

As I got older, I would take trips with them to Ghost Ranch. This was the closest I ever got to going to sleep away camp. I had my first major crush here. He was the son of the owners and everyone knew him. His name was Josh and boy was he cute. The two or three summers I went with my grandparents and once or twice with my Mom, were some of the best summer memories I have. I got hit in the nose with a soft ball here. I discovered pizza with pineapple on it here. I drank my first beer here. Good times.

Grandpa passed away my senior year in high school and I still cry every time I think about him. I learned to eat my eggs with ketchup from my grandpa and of course how to bait a hook. I miss him terribly still and I wish he could have met his great grandkids. The would have loved him.

If it wasn't for Grandma, I probably would have never finished college. At times I worked 3 jobs and went to school full time. I lived with Grandma a couple of times throughout my 6 year tenure at UT and didn't visit nearly enough when I wasn't living there. But it was the monthly allowance she started giving me so that I didn't have to work so much that saved me. When she fell in October, I went to care for her for a week. This was very difficult for me, seeing her bedridden. Harder still was moving her to NM, packing up her house and closing the doors for the last time. Hubby and I were the last people to in our family to be in that house and I cried and cried as we left. Never again to be in that house with my grandparents was very hard.

Seeing her last week was hard. She doesn't want to live anymore, but she is healthy as a horse so it looks like she is going to stick around for awhile longer, God willing. It was very hard to say good-bye not knowing if it would be the last time I saw her, but I'm so thankful that I was able to go when I did and at least know that if she goes soon, I saw her one last time.

We got back home at 9:30 PM on Mother's Day, not exactly a stellar day. Boo Bear did great on the flights and I am so glad that I had understanding people next to me both trips. We both came home sick, her with an ear infection and me with a sinus infection. So throw in trips to two doctors, a bad reaction to the medicine they gave me, on top of catching up at work and last week was a bundle of fun. Definitely the part of the roller coaster where your stomach drops.

Other updates in the form of one long run on sentence basically.

Boo Bear turned 16 months last week. My baby really isn't a baby anymore, but a little girl. This week her Nana B is here visiting so once again, we are busy with family, which is wonderful. Hubby I think has finally found a reliable manager which means that he actually gets two days off a week, one of which we actually get to spend together as a family.

With that long post, I will leave you with this.

A Girl and Her Gorilla. Yes, that is an eyeball in the background.