Thursday, March 24, 2005

Defensive Driving Cliff Notes Version

I'm taking an online defensive driving course right now to try to dismiss a ticket for following too closely. I know, I know, but I got of easy. He stopped me for speeding, not using my blinker at following too closely. The date of the ticket? 12/28/04. The reason for my space cadet moves? 3 days after Christmas. First day back at work. Duh! Anyways... Taking this course is providing not only a pain in my ass, but some amusement as well. I thought I would share, cuz I'm cool like that.

Defensive Driving Wisdom: (my commententary is bolded)

Never drive on a sidewalk unless you are crossing a sidewalk to enter or leave a driveway or alley. Remember! Pedestrians have the right-of-way on sidewalks. You must stop for pedestrians before crossing a sidewalk. Good to remember. No driving on sidewalks.

In high-density traffic areas, you may sometimes see an entire street, or a few traffic lanes on a street, marked with cones. The cones indicate that a lane or street is being used for something other than the normal purpose. Other than the normal purpose. Such as?

A GREEN light means GO. That's what that means!

A RED light means STOP. That explains a lot.

You must not drive down a road or street marked with a DO NOT ENTER sign. In case you were unclear as to what DO NOT ENTER actually meant.

A red circle with a red line through it always means NO. NO, NO, NO

If you are driving the speed limit, but are still going slower than other traffic, do not drive in the left or "fast" lane. If you are in the "fast" lane, move to the right when another driver is close behind you and wishes to pass. Amen! Can we post this little tidbit on some bill boards?

A general rule of thumb: the speed limit near a school is 15 mph lower than the regular posted speed limit on that road. (Just an interesting little fact that goes along with SLOW CHILDREN.)

If a train is coming, WAIT until it passes before crossing the tracks. Only do this if you value your life!

RIGHT LANE ENDS means that the right lane ends up ahead. Note to self.

Do not drive on a sidewalk, except to cross it at a driveway or alley. See above for reference.

Never drive to the scene of a fire, a collision, or any other disaster just to have a look. (This never would have even occured to me. Sickos.)

Drive as far to the right as possible if a vehicle with one light comes toward you. It could be a bicycle or motorcycle, but it could also be a "one-eyed" vehicle. One eyed Willie!

As you move through another car's blind spot, use your horn or lights to warn the other driver of your presence. This could create a problem don't you think if everyone did this. honk, beep, honk, flash, beep, flash, honk, CRASH!

Adjust your seat so that you are high enough to see the road. If you are still too low, you should use a seat cushion. Do this before putting on your safety belt. Now, I'm short and all, but if you need a car booster seat, you probably shouldn't be driving. (no offense to short people, merely for entertainment value.)

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