The Art of Massage

Look, me, on a Sunday, posting. Now pick your jaw up off the floor. It's not THAT outrageous.

I got a much needed massage yesterday and afterwards, feeling refreshed and a little less lumpy, I fed my poor body some crap because frankly, my ass just isn't big enough yet.

I digress. The title of this post has to do with what I think every Masseuse should know, but doesn't seem to know. There are a few things as a customer that I think are really necessary when one is about to place their hands to knead on another person's body.

1. Always ask what specific areas of said person's body need the most work. Where do you tend to hold stress, etc...
2. Do you have any injuries I should know about
3. How is my pressure?
4. Do not under any circumstances, talk during the massage. If I wanted idle chatter, I would go to work, not the spa.

You would think these things would be standard, but I think in all the massages I have ever gotten, only one masseuse has asked all of these questions.

So as not to put all the responsibility on the giver of the kneading of the Gods, as a client, you must do certain things as well.

1. Always shave all important touchable parts.
2. Shower before you go. No one wants to rub a stinky person.
3. Put good-smelly stuff on so you don't stink.
4. Bring comb and something to put your hair up after massage. No one wants to see your greasy mane.

So there you have it, Massage 101.

I know this was a terribly interesting post...