Don't you just hate when someone walks into your office right after their smoke break and then leaves your office stinking like cigarette smoke.
Yea, I will Lysol your ass.
Monday, January 10, 2005
In other news...
Work is kicking my ass. Technically, I have been neglecting work for blogging and have felt the need to get focused and actually do the job that I get paid for. And I'm really busy. So, I am here. I appreciate the comments and will try and respond as soon as I can to all of your wonderful words. In the meantime, let's do a little blog it forward. Leave me a comment of a blog/person that I should check out and why you read them. I will then go to each of those sites and leave a comment telling them that you sent me.
To blog it forward, why don't you go check out Sarcastic Journalist. She is a fellow Texan from very near me. She is snarky and funny and tells it like it is. Go and try and find out why her site is called Shenuts.
Hope to catch up with each and every one of you soon. And don't forget who your favorite Whore is.
To blog it forward, why don't you go check out Sarcastic Journalist. She is a fellow Texan from very near me. She is snarky and funny and tells it like it is. Go and try and find out why her site is called Shenuts.
Hope to catch up with each and every one of you soon. And don't forget who your favorite Whore is.
Friday, January 07, 2005
What did I do to you?
Okay, so I am getting my cute little blog whore ass kicked over at the awards. People. What did I do. I mean, you are driving me to drink. What do I have to do to get some votes around here? A shorter skirt? A shorter top? No top? What? I mean really. I'm hurt, wounded, crying in my soup. Except I don't have any soup!
Okay, I'm out of breath from running around yelling at you guys. I'm off to practice my whore dance! Wanna watch?
Okay, I'm out of breath from running around yelling at you guys. I'm off to practice my whore dance! Wanna watch?
Big Bird
Just heard in a budget meeting:
"I want to be the big bird."
Huh?
So who do you want to be? I'm Elmo. Hokey Pokey Elmo to be exact.
"I want to be the big bird."
Huh?
So who do you want to be? I'm Elmo. Hokey Pokey Elmo to be exact.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Assignment Blogroll
I'm off to a meeting shortly, but I have a mission for you. Should you choose to accept said mission, you just might learn/meet something/one new.
Mission:
First, go to my blogroll, (that never ending thing over there on the left), and pick a blog you have never seen before. Go visit them. Leave them a comment. Then come back and tell me who you visited and what you learned from them. You might just expand your blogroll. Rinse. Repeat. Got it? Good.
This message will self destruct in ... Never.
As for me, I'm going here and choosing from their blogroll. I chose randomly from my blogroll. And I am visiting http://www.livejournal.com/users/crittersitter/. Enjoy.
Mission:
First, go to my blogroll, (that never ending thing over there on the left), and pick a blog you have never seen before. Go visit them. Leave them a comment. Then come back and tell me who you visited and what you learned from them. You might just expand your blogroll. Rinse. Repeat. Got it? Good.
This message will self destruct in ... Never.
As for me, I'm going here and choosing from their blogroll. I chose randomly from my blogroll. And I am visiting http://www.livejournal.com/users/crittersitter/. Enjoy.
The things you've taught me
Happy New Year!
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern, I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Jeez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor. Your first 2005 chain letter!If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 pm tomorrow afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend.
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern, I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Jeez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor. Your first 2005 chain letter!If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 pm tomorrow afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend.
Bra Talk
There is no poking out of the underwire today. But I really need a new bra, cuz the boobies aren't staying in this one.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
I'm sooooo classy
Why? Because if you worked where I work, you could have just witnessed my putting my hand down my shirt to fix the underwire from my bra sticking me in the boob. While eating candy corn I found in my desk drawer. Tell me that ain't classy? Not tell me I ain't a whore!
Crack pipe dreams
I was over catching up at Corp.Mommy and reading her most recently post about her dream Jag and it got me thinking.
We all have dreams of things that we know we will probably never have. Some of us are more optimistic or young or naive and believe these things are attainable. Some of us are realistic/jaded/comfortable/pessimistic and don't believe we can ever have these things, but a piece of us is still hopeful. I fall somewhere in the middle. I have always been a sort of status quo girl. I am one of those people that unless it is REALLY broken, I just deal. I don't fix. I get by.
I have a job I love now, but if I were to lose it tomorrow (Please God NO!) I would go find something else to do. Whatever I could find. I don't really have a career per se. I have a BS in Kinesiology with a minor in Psychology and I work in marketing. For a hotel. And I love it. I am a PR/Ad person that proofreads and does project management more than anything. I like it. But it is very status quo. My dream job would be to be a dancer for music videos and awards shows and stuff like that. Small problem, I'm now old, out of shape and really don't look good in those midrif baring shirts that used to look so good, I mean slutty on me. I also would love to be a photographer and make lots of money for photos I take. One problem, no training, no camera (coming soon) and no motivation. Status Quo. I talk about taking classes. And talk and talk.
Boy did I get off the subject. My intent at the beginning of the post was to list some things I would love to have, but that I don't think will ever happen. And in the end, I'm okay with that, because unfortunately as I begin to build said list in my head, it is very materialistic and that is just not who I want to be nor who I really am. So I shall list in random order things that I would love to have, but don't need to have:
~A Volvo SC90. This is my dream car/SUV.
~A house with enough rooms for my (future) kids to have their own rooms. A playroom/gameroom, a movie room, a swimming pool and hot tub, an outdoor kitchen. Oh, and it would be on the beach, but built into a mountain. kay.
~The ability to purchase clothes whenever I wanted no matter how much they cost. And shoes. And purses. And stuff for my house. Okay, just lots of money, keep it coming now.
~The freedom, financial and otherwise to travel all over the world, whenever I wanted to.
What pipe dreams do you have?
We all have dreams of things that we know we will probably never have. Some of us are more optimistic or young or naive and believe these things are attainable. Some of us are realistic/jaded/comfortable/pessimistic and don't believe we can ever have these things, but a piece of us is still hopeful. I fall somewhere in the middle. I have always been a sort of status quo girl. I am one of those people that unless it is REALLY broken, I just deal. I don't fix. I get by.
I have a job I love now, but if I were to lose it tomorrow (Please God NO!) I would go find something else to do. Whatever I could find. I don't really have a career per se. I have a BS in Kinesiology with a minor in Psychology and I work in marketing. For a hotel. And I love it. I am a PR/Ad person that proofreads and does project management more than anything. I like it. But it is very status quo. My dream job would be to be a dancer for music videos and awards shows and stuff like that. Small problem, I'm now old, out of shape and really don't look good in those midrif baring shirts that used to look so good, I mean slutty on me. I also would love to be a photographer and make lots of money for photos I take. One problem, no training, no camera (coming soon) and no motivation. Status Quo. I talk about taking classes. And talk and talk.
Boy did I get off the subject. My intent at the beginning of the post was to list some things I would love to have, but that I don't think will ever happen. And in the end, I'm okay with that, because unfortunately as I begin to build said list in my head, it is very materialistic and that is just not who I want to be nor who I really am. So I shall list in random order things that I would love to have, but don't need to have:
~A Volvo SC90. This is my dream car/SUV.
~A house with enough rooms for my (future) kids to have their own rooms. A playroom/gameroom, a movie room, a swimming pool and hot tub, an outdoor kitchen. Oh, and it would be on the beach, but built into a mountain. kay.
~The ability to purchase clothes whenever I wanted no matter how much they cost. And shoes. And purses. And stuff for my house. Okay, just lots of money, keep it coming now.
~The freedom, financial and otherwise to travel all over the world, whenever I wanted to.
What pipe dreams do you have?
My REAL Resolution for 2005
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
|
De-lurking is De-lovely
Sheryl over at Papernapkin has declared today, Delurking day, so be De-Lovely and leave a de-comment. I know I have a couple of readers. I think.
Cactus Aid
Chris is doing his part to help with aid for the tsunami victims as well as doing a little pimping of himself. Which is pretty cool as Cactus is pretty cool and his has body wear that says Zero Tolerance for Asshats. So go help and buy some cool stuffs!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Parallel Whoring
Well, I guess I'm not a very good Blog Whore as I am getting my ass kicked in the BoB awards. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. I will tell you that I'm tired of having my ass hang out of this short skirt and my feet hurt from the hooker boots, so I guess I can slack off now and just put my yoga pants back on and be comfy. And I don't have to take hand me down's from Beth once she chooses her awards outfit and bling. Jay has called me out for stealing his girlfriend/fiances name and his wallet among other things. As I just don't look as good in a Tiara as he does, I wish him the best at winning. He is certainly better at cheating, I mean Whoring, than I am. I just want to see what dress he chooses should he win.
So with that, I give you this:
Searching for PBP (Professional Blog Pimp) to Whore me Out. I just am too tired from being ridden, ahem, I mean whoring, I mean working, to pimp myself out right now. Please inquire within the comment section. Prior experience helpful.
So with that, I give you this:
Searching for PBP (Professional Blog Pimp) to Whore me Out. I just am too tired from being ridden, ahem, I mean whoring, I mean working, to pimp myself out right now. Please inquire within the comment section. Prior experience helpful.
Monday, January 03, 2005
2005 not so resolutions
I don't really do resolutions. All that setting yourself up for failure, etc. I have never been one to write down goals even though I am a big supporter of telling others that the best way to reach your goals is to write them down. If I am one thing, it is honest, I am a hipocrite and quite good at it.
So, in no particular order and with no particular reasoning, I present a list of things, that if were they to happen in 2005, I would consider it a successful year. This will hopefully be an ongoing, neverending list.
In 2005 I would like to:
listen more
talk less
give more
take less
be more and not less
become a mother
become a better wife
become a better housekeeper (shaddup)
become a better photographer
become a better friend
workout more
squish less
love more, endlessly, selflessly
become a wonderful Aunt
learn about plants so as not to kill my existing beautiful landscaping
Maintain/better my relationship with my parents (all of them)
Keep in better touch with my brother
visit my sister frequently
go on vacation
drink less
worry less
be meaningful more
be useless less
What do you wish for yourself in 2005?
So, in no particular order and with no particular reasoning, I present a list of things, that if were they to happen in 2005, I would consider it a successful year. This will hopefully be an ongoing, neverending list.
In 2005 I would like to:
listen more
talk less
give more
take less
be more and not less
become a mother
become a better wife
become a better housekeeper (shaddup)
become a better photographer
become a better friend
workout more
squish less
love more, endlessly, selflessly
become a wonderful Aunt
learn about plants so as not to kill my existing beautiful landscaping
Maintain/better my relationship with my parents (all of them)
Keep in better touch with my brother
visit my sister frequently
go on vacation
drink less
worry less
be meaningful more
be useless less
What do you wish for yourself in 2005?
Leaf me alone
How does one respond, when in the middle of lunch, your husband looks at you and says, "So, I guess all the leaves HAVE to fall of the trees, huh?"
I think this was his attempt at trying to figure out how to not have to rake the front yard 10 times a day.
I think this was his attempt at trying to figure out how to not have to rake the front yard 10 times a day.
Can I just say...
HOOK EM! What an awesome game. Vince Young has some serious talent. I have not kept up with my Texas Ball as much this year as in the past, but this game kept me on my toes and gave me new respect for a running QB. I don't know how many times I yelled "Beautiful!" at the TV, but hubby could hear me yelling in the garage. A little bit of role...not really reversal, but strange roles as I am the one that likes football, hubby does not. So he tinkered in the garage while I screamed and yelled at the TV.
Can I also just say, I am so not feeling the love today.
Can I also just say, I am so not feeling the love today.
Best Little Blog Whore in Texas
Well, you like me, you really like me.
Thanks to Em, Jenn, Michelle, Sara, and Mellie for nominating me for Best Blog Whore. Please go and check out all of the finalists, in all the categories and then vote for the blogger you think is most deserving. These awards are great because they recognize the people who blog for fun and friendship and comraderie. All of the finalists are worthy of awards as are all the nominees. I am honored to be even nominated and be in the company of these people. Voting ends January 17th.
Oh, and I wouldn't be a good little blog whore and the Best Little Blog Whore in Texas, if I didn't say, Vote For Me Ya'll! Thanks ya much! Yee Haw! Now quit looking up my blog skirt and go vote.
Simon Says
In keeping with our game theme, let's play a little game of Simon Says, except of course, my name is not Simon, (or maybe it is) so it will be a game of Jazzy Says. Actually it will be a game of ________ (Your Name) Says. Leave a comment with a link to one of your daily must-reads in the form of "__________(Your Name) Says, go check out my daily must-read, http://www.______________.com."
The next person to comment should leave their Simon Says must-read recommendation and then go to the previous commentors' Simon Says must-read recommendation and leave a comment. Share the love people.
I'll go first.
Jazzy says, go check out my must read daily, Michele. And of course, tell her I sent you.
***UPDATE: Tell me how you REALLY feel about this game. It sucks apparently.
The next person to comment should leave their Simon Says must-read recommendation and then go to the previous commentors' Simon Says must-read recommendation and leave a comment. Share the love people.
I'll go first.
Jazzy says, go check out my must read daily, Michele. And of course, tell her I sent you.
***UPDATE: Tell me how you REALLY feel about this game. It sucks apparently.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)