How to tell when your child's clothes are too small

Diaper camel toe.

The pressures of blogging

I know that we all say that we blog for ourselves. Okay, maybe not all of us, but those of us not amazing writers who have found a way to make a living doing what the rest of us call a "hobby" for lack of a better term. But I think that a little piece of all of us wish for more readers, more comments, more attention. Or maybe that is just me.

I find myself reading blogs and thinking, surely their life isn't all that more exciting than mine, they can just convey it better, with more panache, more excitement, more humor...

Tangent.. why does blogger spell check not recognize the words blogging, blog or blogger?

Resume post...

I have always been a "writer" and I use that term loosely. But when my writing is in the great big blogosphere next to the likes of people who have things published, well it seems flat, boring, without meaning of sorts. Yes, I do blog to flush out the thoughts in my head and to share with family and friends the little things we might forget to mention in the occasional phone call. But a part of me would like to be a better writer, to amuse, to entertain, to enlighten others with my words.

Perhaps I should commission famous bloggers to tell my stories, a la the new Geico commercials. Perhaps Heather A. could add her twist to my current intestinal woes such as Charro adds her flair to a "normal" person's insurance story. Or Amy could recount in her funny mommy comic way the story of how Boo Bear (formally known as The Girl) is learning to crawl and insists on moving to her stomach every time I sit her down, only to scream in protest at the fact that her stomach. is. touching. the. ground. my. gosh. get. me. up. now. woman. Or the other Heather could regale a story of my childhood with insight and profound discovery such that others will not merely laugh, but ponder memories of their own.

Or perhaps I should just continue to write and be very content in the fact that members of my family learn things about me that I cannot convey in real life to them and that I have some real life (as opposed to my very real life e-friends) friends that know me for who I really am. And love me anyways -- Despite my inability to fully convey my thoughts on this keyboard, partially due to the fact that I think way faster than fingers' capacity to hit the buttons needed to convey such messages. And perhaps I should quit with the wanting to be liked and fit in with everybody and let go of the childhood fantasy that everyone likes everyone. I don't like everyone and everyone doesn't have to like me. But would you, please.

This post obviously lets out of the bag some of my inner issues. Oh, well. Maybe some blogger will write a book about me... or perhaps you should just skip this post and go look at the blue pictures below.

The Great Blue

First of all, you want me to pick just one. I can't. I simply can't. I tried and I can't. So here. You pick.

Taken at a BBQ cook off earlier this summer.

Cool clouds.

I love taking night shots like this and have started a collection.
Not sure what I'm doing with them, but I like them.

Storm brewing over our back fence. Those are the neighbors beautiful flowers. I kill mine.

Joyce's Seafood. The White Chocolate Bread Pudding. To. Die. For. Want. Now.

Tangent

This week's subject made me think of a day in college that I came home to find the upstairs neighbor playing Blue by Leann Rimes over and over and over and over... It about drove me to drink, which at that time didn't take much. It was the only time in my entire life that I have ever called the apartment management to complain. It was that bad. The apartment security guard (cop off duty) happened to be called and sent up there. They turned that stupid song off and then Mr. Security came to see me, because it seems, the upstairs neighbors had a complaint of their own. Too bad Mr. Security happened to be an old high school friend. Funny how things work out.

Assertiveness Training

Assertiveness Training

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

(Sent from my MIL.)

You want random, I'll give you random

In fine bullet form...

• I went grocery shopping today and wanted ice cream. But I couldn't decide what kind, so I didn't buy any. Now I want some.
• I'm watching Old Adventures of New Christine (or is it the other way around) and the first commercial comes on and it's for Centrum Silver. What exactly is the demographic here?
• I think The Girl is trying to tell me something. I went to check on her tonight and she was on her stomach (which during the day she claims to hate) and had her head jammed into the corner, sleeping. One of my major Mommy Fears is that she will suffocate in her crib. I know it's semi-irrational, but it's one of those fears that gets the better of me and I check on her repeatedly. I have calmed this fear down a little bit, but now she goes jamming her face into corners of the crib. Perhaps it's time to take out the bumper? Speaking of semi-irrational fears, I am scared to give her small pieces of food because I'm scared that she will choke on them. I gave her a Cherrio a couple of weeks ago and she chewed the first one and swallowed it so I gave her another which she proceeded to try to swallow whole and began coughing while I began the silent freak out. You know the one where you are telling your child, "you're okay, you're okay" while on the inside you are screaming to yourself, "OMG please don't die, don't choke, don't turn that color, what do I do.... waaaaaa". Or is that just me?
• I have a cold, which by the way, sucks. Summer colds are the worst. I can handle being sick in the winter. Oh, who am I kinding, I can never handle being sick. But sick with a 7.5 month old and work and stuff... oh, shut up already me.
• and thathatha that's all folks!

Youth... ahhh the fun time

The Girl at 6.5 months.

do dah do dah

I have been meaning to post about the playgroup I finally found. I had been searching for something to get me out of the house and to get me in touch with some other Mom's in the area. I found Meet Up and have been very pleased so far. They have all kinds of groups you can find and join, but lucky for me they have playgroups and they had one in my area. I live on the outskirts of Houston and so lots of activities for this area are really based in Houston. This makes it hard for me to get to things due to being an hour away, having to try and keep the girl on a good nap schedule and working 5 hours a day from home.

I have been to a couple of events and they have been good. So far the group I joined is fairly new so I have only met a few of the mom's and their kids, but it is so nice to get out of the house and to commiserate with other moms that are going through or have gone through what I am. I have friends around the city that do have kids, but again it's just too far for me to regularly see them to hang out.

If you are looking for playgroups in your area, check it out and if there isn't a playgroup in your area, start one! There are always other mothers looking for play groups.

Are you ready for some football?

We are. She is helmeted and ready for action. Put me in coach! She is adjusting fairly well so far and I think it brings out the blue in her eyes, not that you can see in this picture though.
I will probably decorate it soon, but haven't decided for sure if I want to or not. We shall see. I am recovering from my latest bout of IMS and have a much sunny disposition which makes everyone happier. Happy Hump Day peoples!

IMS

I've been diagnosed with something awful. Something that causes me to act badly and say things I do not mean. Dr. Hubby (Not a real doctor, he just plays one on TV), has diagnosed me with IMS or Irritable Mom Syndrome. Irritable Mom Syndrome symptoms include yelling for no reason, flying off the handle, saying things you don't mean, biting off of heads and chewing them up and spitting them back out and then making your husband clean up the mess. Also, include losing temper and losing mind simultaneously while trying to maintain some semblance of normality. Side effects include slamming doors, tears, blowing of the nose and feelings of regret for mean things said.

Only known cures are long hours away fromanyone and everyone, girl's nights out, copious amounts of alcohol or massage.

Anyone else been diagnosed with IMS?

My Wish

Sometimes it's easier to say how we feel with a song.

My Wish

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish.
I hope you know somebody loves you.
May all your dreams stay big.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts (Me and My Gang)
From Here.

The Blog Story: Mommy Missions

I present the blog story of Mommy Missions. As you can see I have taken some artistic liberties with your blog names. I have also lacked the creativity I had hoped for when I came up with this little game.

Mommy Missions

One day while at the park Ms. Miss sat pondering the Giggling Universe and Rambling Romantically, wondering what the day might have in store for her. While she sat day dreaming, she watched the leaves fall slowly from the trees. One leaf in particular caught her eye. You see, this leaf was the size of a beach ball and was floating in an odd way. It seemed to have it's own path and it seemed to be leading Ms. Miss, beckoning to her to follow it. Ms. Miss thought about the strangeness of this, but only for a second before getting up and following the leaf.

The leaf led her down the street and around the square. Ms. Miss' surroundings slowly changed as she followed the magical leaf. The houses and store fronts were no longer vivid colors, but a blur of color such as in a dream. As Ms. Miss was trying to look closer to pinpoint exactly what was different about her surroundings, she bumped into something. As she refocused her attention, she looked around for what she had bumped into. It seemed the leaf had led her to the front of a small house and she had run into the door which bumped slightly open. Ms. Miss looked around her to see if anyone was watching and then pushed open the door and entered the house. The leaf hovered just above her sight line and seemed to wait to see what she was going to do next.

At that moment, a sound came from upstairs. Ms. Miss cocked her head to listen. It sounded like music, strange music and lots of cheer. Ms. Miss put her foot on the first step and timidly began climbing the stairs. As she rounded the top of the banister, she caught her first glimpse of the source of the noise. She could see the swish of a grass skirt and could see that someone was dancing. The music was Hawaiian and was accompanied by deep breathing. Ms. Miss continued and stopped quietly outside the room. At that moment she realized what she was seeing. The Hula Duala was doing her infamous baby dance. Ms. Miss had only read about this ritual, but had never seen it in person and was so excited to be seeing it in person that she boldly walked into the room without thinking. As she did so, she noticed a woman in a large poster bed that was watching the dance while she breathed deeply. She was surrounded by many small children and as they all noticed Ms. Miss they surrounded her, grabbing her skirt with their small hands. As the two other women realized Ms. Miss was there, they stopped what they were doing and looked at Ms. Miss.

"Well, hello there little Miss," greeted the small woman in the bed. She smiled warmly and motioned toward a chair next to the bed. "Won't you join us?"

Ms. Miss sat down, the leaf maintaining it's position over her head.

"Welcome to my humble home, I'm Ms. Mommy. How do you like This Full House? "

"Well, Golly Blog Howdy, it's the neatest place I've ever been! Are all these children yours?" asked Ms. Miss.

"Yes, they are all my little ones," she replied. "We love having children, although it does cause some Poopy Digs, don't it?"

"Is that what that smell is?" asked Ms. Miss. Normally, poopy was a fragrance that Ms. Miss could do without, but this smell was pleasant, like sniffing a box of JuJuBees.

"Don't you like it?" asked Hula Doula.

"Why.... yes, I do," responded Ms. Miss. "Do you like having all these children?"

Ms. Mommy paused and then said, "Yes, I really do enjoy my Suburban Life. Now won't you join us as we check The Mommy Files to see what our assignment for today is?"

"Assignment?" asked Ms. Miss. "What kind of assignment?"

"Well, you see, Hula Duola and myself do secret missions in the blog world, very important Mommy Matters really."

"What kind of secret missions?"

"Well, if I told you, they wouldn't be secretmissions now would they? Let's look through the files and see what we have in store for you today," said Ms. Mommy.

Then Ms. Mommy searched The Mommy Files and pulled out a leaf that had special writing on it. Ms. Miss couldn't really make out the writing, so she asked, "What does it say?"

Ms. Mommy replied, "It says our assignment for this week is to take Wednesdays Off."

"Wednesdays Off" said Ms. Miss, "That doesn't seem so hard, really, or secret for all that matter."

"Agh," said Ms. Mommy, "but you see, it means that there can be no blah blah blahging, and that my dear friends, is quite hard to do."

"Well, isn't that a Piece of Work?" said Ms. Miss. "But, really, What The Bleep Do I know?"

So Hula Doula, Ms. Mommy and Ms. Miss began their mission to take Wednesdays Off.

To Be Continued...

The Week

Be assured, I am working on the blog story. It should be very exciting. I haven't had that many comments since... Oh, I don't know, ever.

Anyway, this week has been a bugger and definitely feels like it should be over already with as much as we have crammed into it. I present in random order, the bullets of my life right now.

• Taking care of baby
• Work
• Doctor's appointments, casting for helmet, spend lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
• Playgroups
• Meetings
• heart stints
• cancer
• floods
• babies (not mine)
• Bah!!!!
• Meals
• friends
• fights with insurance

Such is the nature of my everyday life right now. Some of those things I can't go into detail on and not all of them pertain to me specifically, but people in my family or friends. Hope your life is filled with many good things this week.

A little fun and games goes a long way

Let's play a little game. Come now oh few readers of mine, play along. I am going to write a story. A story about you. Leave me a comment on this post and I will incorporate your blog name into a story that will be sure to be wild, crazy, and down right compelling. Now go, comment and become a part of the story.

School is wasted on the young: Life lessons

I always say that school is wasted on the young. I breezed my way through high school merely due to the fact that I had to go. I know there are plenty of you that did not feel you "had" to go and skipped regularly, but alas, my step mother could smell a lie a mile away and the punishment was not worth the reward of skipping one measley class. So, I went, I listened and I passed, quite well actually. Unfortunately, school was not set up to actually teach me things like how to study for college, merely it taught me how to take tests, so that the state would continue giving money to my school, so that it could look like it was preparing me for college.

Regardless, my college days were spent with many a 24 hour study session hours before a test, only to end prematurely as I decided I couldn't possibly study anymore, so I would go to the bar instead. Amazing I made it through without scholastic probabation. Needless to say, my gpa fell 2 whole points from high school to college graduation. Bygones really.

My point of this whole post? Looking back on high school, I remember thinking frequently and occassionally verbalizing, that I would never use "half this stupid stuff." Now that I have a child, I realize the purpose for school if for no other reason than to prepare me to answer the questions she will no doubt start asking at the age of two and continue asking for, oh say, the next 18 years, God willing. I have no recollection of fractions or pronouns, or the actual part of a sentence. I cannot tell you what the war of 1812 was about among many other things my brain did not care to file in the storage of the past portion of my head. I dread having my child ask me a question as simple as what is 8 x 8 and then watch myself in horror as I have to pause, for a long time, think about this once easy math, and then spit out an answer hoping it is correct. 64, right, that's correct right? No, how about going to watch TV?

Four Words

Wireless.
Laptop.
Couch.
Happy.

The Diagnosis

The visit with the specialist yesterday went better than we expected. Savannah has a mild case of plagiocephaly. We are lucky that it is only minor and that she does not have any facial assymetry (in layman's terms, her eyes and ears are not uneven.) We have chosen to treat her with one of these to help round out her head. It's like braces for her head. She will have to wear it for about 2.5 months and 23 hours a day. Everything I have read about children and these helmets says that the kids adjust very easily to the helmet and quickly forget that it is there. It generally is harder for the parents.

We are very lucky also that she does not have other problems associated with this condition, such as torticollis or craniosyntosis. Plagio is caused mainly by babies sleeping on their backs, as well as by cramped conditions in the uterus. Since the Back to Sleep campaign began the number of cases of plagio has increased significantly. It is still a good program, but there are things that can be done to help prevent such problems. Some of these include rotating your child in the crib so that he/she faces a different direction each night so that they are not always looking to the same side. Making sure that you spend lots of time (supervised of course) with your baby on his/her tummy is another good way to help prevent this as well. There does seem to be a learning curve for the medical community on this condition and how to treat it early. Many people think that the baby's head will round out on it's own when they start spending more time off their back (i.e. when they learn to sit, etc.), but that doesn't necessarily seem to be the case. Early detection and treatment is the best course of action I think.

We look forward to getting The Girl treated and getting it all over with so she can continue being her perfect little self. We go tomorrow to get pictures taken and will have to wait to get her fitted for her helmet until Insurance approves (God willing).

gold goatees and other nightmares

I woke up this morning to a nightmare. A nightmare that included the doctor we are going to see today, guns, a guy with a gold goatee and the thought, "please, just 5 more minutes." That last part is pretty normal, the rest, not so much.

I dreamed we went to the doctor's office and she walked in, touched my daughter and then just started talking mumbo jumbo. She never really told us what was wrong with The Girl and I kept asking questions that she wouldn't answer. (The doctor we are going to see is actually a man, go figure) Anyways, for some reason, we are still in the room with the doctor, but now we are having a party. Not some wild kegger, but the type of party that you would have for a 7 month old, all adults and low key. I still have lots of questions about The Girl's condition so I get up to go ask the doctor my questions, but she slips out of the room. As I am headed towards the door to follow her, a guy starts to walk out of the room and as he goes, he starts shooting people. I duck down under a table, but he says something like, "You think you can duck down and do shots on the floor?" and then he shoots me, except, he hasn't really shot anyone in the sense that no one is dead. So he leaves the room and then this guy walks in and at first glance it looks like he just has a serious gold grill but at closer inspection (not too close) he actually has a gold plated goatee. It's doesn't look like hair but more like a gold tongue affixed to his bottom lip that has diamonds in it. I'll let you absorb that....

Following Gold Goatee Man in are a group of thugs with guns. I manage to slip out of the room to go find the doctor. At this point the only thing still on my mind is asking the doctor my questions. Nevermind the fact that I just left my daughter with my MIL and my step mom in a room with a bunch of thugs with guns and this time I know they are real guns with real bullets, yet my only thought is to get my questions answered. I drop my list of questions in a board room that is right next door to the room I was just in. I can't find the doctor so I go to the desk where I ask where the doctor has gone. At first no one seems to know who I am talking about. I explain who the doctor is and then also tell them they might want to call the police about the thugs in our clinic-party room. People start rushing out of that area of the building where the thugs are. At this point I swing behind the reception desk and hide. My thoughts while hiding? All I can think about is getting my list of questions. When my family, including my daughter finally escapes from the thug room, at that point, the severity of the situation overwhelmes me and I cannot wait to hold my daughter.

Anyone care to diagnose or interpret that dream? (Maybe I am crazy and maybe I am eating those tortillas in my sleep.)

We go to the cranial facial specialist at 1:00 today. I am probably more nervous now than I have been. I just want an answer so that we can move forward with whatever treatment we decide and I can get past this fear of the unknown. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish us luck.