Happy Cough Snort Snot New Cough Year

I really keep planning on updating you all (all 3 of you) on our vacation, Christmas and the like, but alas, things like playing with my daughter, spending time with family and working have taken all my time. Not to mention the cold that my daughter gave me that has turned into a nightmare.

With that, I wish you all a snot-free, cough-free, healthy New Year!

Oops

We went and picked our Christmas Tree yesterday evening. We got it home, put it in the stand and ooops.

The tree is too big for our stand and it just bent the legs up so that the tree sat on the bowl. We went and got a new stand this morning and the tree now stands. Hubby has decided that decorating the tree is a nighttime ritual and will not do it during the day. As our schedule stands, that leaves the tree undecorated until Tuesday evening. Poor naked tree.

The Most Perfect Man on Earth For Me

I worked all day in the office today and I didn't get too much grumble from my Hubby. Seeing how it is our 4 year anniversary and all. When I walked through the door at 5 this afternoon, I pulled on the door to the laundry room that leads into the kitchen and thought for a moment that it was stuck. It wasn't stuck, just booby trapped with confetti poppers. I walked into my kitchen to noise makers and a clapper and this. We had agreed to not do presents, so I got all this and he got a measley card.

And because they don't make Happy 4th year Anniversary items, hubby made his own.
I sure do love that man. Happy Anniversary Baby!

Good Grief Charlie Brown

Last night was spent watching Charlie Brown, (funnier than I remember and definitely some adult targeted humor) and making my annual Peppermint Bark. Chocolate and peppermint are all over the house. We also pulled down the Christmas decorations from the attic and will hopefully begin "decking the halls" this week. Friday we hope to go get our Christmas Tree. Not sure where we will put it as the place we had it last year now has all of Boo Bears toys. Oh well, she never plays with them anyways. Just the pots and pans.

The countdown to our vacation has begun, except I can't even begin to think about tomorrow as today has got me snowed under as it is. One day at a time, please. But, if I had the time to be counting down, the countdown would be 13 days until we go to Costa Rica. I cannot wait. This is much needed and much desired and I plan on doing much reading, loafing and eating. Yippee.

Tomorrow is hubby and I's 4 year anniversary. 4 whole years. It seems much longer than that, in the good way. We will be celebrating in low key style as we tend to do. It is also my step mother's birthday, so feel free to stop by here and wish her well. I will be sure to pass along any birthday wishes to her. She is sitting vigil at the hospital next to her sister this week so we don't know when we will get to celebrate with her.

I hope everyone is having a better day than me. I am having a blah day and can't seem to get my heart right despite all in my life being so blessed. We all have days like that I suppose.

The Christmas Spirit

One of my favorite memories of childhood is watching a Charlie Brown Christmas and the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer specials. I can't wait to watch these now with my daughter.

This is what we will be doing tonight in our house. Snuggling up by a fire and watching this.

It's that time of year again...

The holidays are officially upon us, if you didn't know that already with the influx of Turkey and shopping last week. This week in our family, we have:

One Anniversary
One Birthday
One Christmas Party
One Baby Dedication
10 lbs of mashed potatoes to cook
one freezer meal for a sick friend
one bake sale to cook for
4 family meals to prepare
20 hours of work
4 loads of laundry
9 loads of dishes
one very filthy floor
one very two year old
one doctor's appointment (let's hope it stays this way)
and a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee....

On a not so light note, my aunt is in the hospital with what seems to be meningitus. Please pray that the doctors will have wisdom as they diagnose and treat her and that she will heal quickly. Please also pray for my family that is down there that they will not get sick spending all that time in the hospital.

My grandmother seems to be dying. She had a stroke last week and just isn't the same anymore. She is probably not going to make it much longer and this leaves me feeling helpless this far away. She can't really talk on the phone as she doesn't really make sense anymore when she talks so I can't even really talk to her to tell her I love her. I have been praying about whether or not to go see her one last time. We thought she was dying in May and I made a last minute trip then to say goodbye and see her one last time. I don't know if I can do it again or if it would do any good for her or me. We don't believe she is in any pain so that is good, but I do pray that it isn't too difficult for her to not be able to make herself clear; being trapped in your own brain and not being able to speak to others seems painful to me. I hope that she knows how much I love her.

Seriously people...

Things are bad when Sesame Street is now bad for your kids. Seriously. This story was on the local news last night and I just sat there appalled that they could even report the story with a straight face. Oscar the Grouch causing depression? I suppose if your child watched Oscar 24/7 it might have some adverse affects, but seriously.

Beat those Aggies!!!!

Hook 'Em Horns!!!

Question

When was the last time you read the Bible, Torah, Koran?

My Testimony: The Journey to Knowing Christ

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! May you be blessed this season.

Warning: This is very long and detailed. I am a very analytical person and so as I was on the journey, I needed to find evidence of my new faith, proof to me if you will of the things that I was feeling and finding out.

My Journey to Knowing Christ

I am writing this to share with you my journey to faith. My journey has been long and at times very difficult, but I am now at a place that I feel peace and know that I am where I belong.

Growing up I had very little religious knowledge until I moved to Houston in the 5th grade. At that time, I began learning about Judaism and through the years until I graduated high school, I attended Hebrew School regularly and Synagogue on occasion. Although I went to Hebrew School at least once a week, I don’t remember anything I learned there. Being Jewish was something that I just was because my parents were and therefore I was. But it never held much meaning to me on a personal level. In fact, in high school and some of college, I called myself an agnostic or an atheist. I didn’t really know if God existed and if He did, I didn’t know anything about him. I had no relationship with Him to speak of that is for sure. The only things I could really tell you about being Jewish was that we did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah and that we celebrated different holidays than Christians. Some holidays I could try to relate what they meant to Judaism, but most of the time, I had to be reminded what the holiday we were celebrating was about. I am sure part of that was just being young and self-centered and not interested in remembering these things.

One day in college, I was walking through campus on my way to find out if I had passed a class. I stopped on the East Mall by the Tower and looked up and said to myself, “Please, God, just let me pass this class.” Nothing too profound there, but in that instant it became clear to me for the first time in my life that I believed there was a God. Why else would I be talking to him?

Now that I knew that I believed in God, I did little to pursue what that meant or to further my relationship with Him. I went along living my life the way I thought was best, with little regard to what place God had in my life. During these years, I would argue with Christians about the Bible and its validity. I argued that it was just a history book. That Jesus was just a really great man, but not the Messiah. I mistakenly thought that the Old Testament was the Torah and the New Testament was the Bible. I didn’t know that the Old Testament was actually more than just Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. I didn’t know that the Bible included the Old Testament and the New Testament, I thought it was just the New Testament. I argued against all that the Bible stood for, without knowing anything at all about it. I was naïve and stupid to argue against something I knew nothing about, I just never argued it to anyone who really knew much about it either, so I was never really challenged about my beliefs. A lawyer doesn’t go into court without studying all the facts, yet for years I had been walking into court blind so to speak without having ever read the Bible, yet arguing against it.

When I first met my husband, I did not know anything about his religious beliefs until day he told me that he was finding his faith again. He was not a Christian when I met him although that was his background, but it didn’t mean anything to him at that time. As we dated, he grew in his faith and was led to start reading the Bible more often. When we got married, we knew that our religious differences would be a difficult part of our marriage. We thought love would be enough to get us through those difficult times. In the past three years we have argued more over religion than anything else. When I got pregnant with our daughter our arguments increased because I grew worried about how we would raise our child (as did he). I worried about the view point of Christians and how we would separate my husband's viewpoint and mine.

During my pregnancy, my friend Tami lost her baby at 38 weeks and for the first time in my life the only thing I knew to do was to pray. I relied on God to help me with this difficult time and somehow I made it through my pregnancy without worrying more than any other mother that something horrible would happen to my baby. The death of Ethan caused me to rely on God like I never had before. Because Tami was a Christian and I wanted to help her grieve, I asked for Bible verses and Biblical advice that might help her in regards to what she was going through. Watching Tami go through such a horrible experience and come out the other side still loving and glorifying God and thanking Him for this experience in her life was a huge testament to the power of her faith.

A couple of months before Savannah was born, my husband had asked if I would just read the Bible with him. I agreed, but wanted to read from the beginning. The Old Testament was at least a little bit familiar to me. We started reading a little bit every once and awhile. It was interesting to hear how it all started in Genesis and it got me thinking more about who God was, but I found no real joy out of reading and I thought I wasn’t getting much out of it. But it turns out that I was. (Romans 10:17 “17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”)

When Boo Bear was about three months old my husband and I had one of our fights and we seemed to be at a standstill. I even was thinking that maybe our marriage wouldn’t work. My husband asked if I would talk to a couple from the Church because us talking to each other about religion always ended up in an argument and I had questions my husband couldn’t always answer. We would both get defensive and offensive and it never turned out good. The couple my husband asked me to speak to are in their 50’s; J. is from Chile and was raised Jewish and is now a Messianic Jew. Ja. is from Venezuela and was raised Catholic. They both attend the Church where my husband has gone for the past 2.5 years. On the day we had agreed to go over to their house, it was one of the hardest days I had experienced as a new mom. I had just had a really, really difficult day. It was not the ideal day for me to go talk to strangers about religion, but for some reason I did not back out. We went to J and Ja.’s house and I asked J. a lot of questions about how he became a Messianic Jew, how he dealt with having been brought up Jewish and reconciling what he knows about Jesus being the Messiah. I felt as though I had known them for years; they were like old friends and although I was nervous at first, I felt very comfortable with them. They have become very dear friends of ours.

After we met with J. and Ja., they asked if we would want to do a Bible Study with them on Genesis. I agreed and we started going once a week. We read a chapter and then answered questions. Each question would tie together pieces of Genesis with other verses in the Bible. It was amazing to see how it all connected. After awhile though, I started feeling like I was forcing myself to do Bible Study. I felt like I was trying to please everyone else and knew I was doing Bible Study for the wrong reasons. I felt like I should want to be doing it, not forcing myself so we stopped altogether and I stopped reading anything even on my own.

I would occasionally go to Church with hubby and initially did not like the Church at all. In my mind I had this idea of what church should be like. I of course did not want to feel bad about myself when I went to church and that is how I would feel leaving that Church. I would tell hubby that and he would tell me that the reason I would feel bad was because I hadn’t accepted the truth. The words sinner, saved, unbeliever were words that made me uncomfortable. I always thought that God was a “good God” and that he loved all people and that all people would go to heaven. This was the god that I had made up in my mind. I didn’t like hearing that wasn’t the case. I would soon find out that the God in the Bible is a just, holy, righteous, all powerful God. The God of the Bible is loving and kind, pure and perfect, Holy, unchangeable, eternal, incomprehensible, almighty, gracious, merciful, He forgives iniquity, rewards those who seek Him, and hates sin. All of these are attributes of God. We cannot pick and choose the ones we like best and ignore the others. God made us in His image (Genesis 1:27), and because He is holy, He wants us to be Holy. (1 Peter 1:15-16 “15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."(Leviticus 11:44) We are not to make God in our image, what we think we want Him to be.

God does want everyone to go to Heaven: 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” But Deuteronomy 32:22 says, “For a fire has been kindled by my wrath, one that burns to the realm of death below. It will devour the earth and it’s harvests and set afire the foundations of the mountains.” And Psalm 9:17 says, “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”

Romans 9:15-16
14What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."(Exodus 33:19) 16It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.

After awhile I decided to start reading the Bible again on my own. I finished Genesis and moved onto Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and I am now in 1 Kings. I would occasionally pull out my Torah that I got at my Bat Mitzvah to use as a reference. I wanted to see if they both said the same things, told the same story, and sure enough, they do. Except one night, I was reading something in Isaiah about the Messiah and went to reference it in the Torah. I was reading from about Chapter 52 which in my Torah goes to 12 verses. In the Bible it goes to 15 and then into Chapter 53. The Torah has no Chapter 53 at all. I found this to be strange. The Torah goes onto Chapters 54 and 55, but then skips to 60. I found it especially interesting that verses 13 – 15 of Chapter 52 and all of Chapter 53 describe in detail the Messiah (Jesus Christ). (Edited to add that some Torah's do have Chapter 53.)

This led me to realize that the question is not necessarily, “Do I believe that Jesus is the Son of God,” but “Is the Bible the Word of God?” If I believed that the Old Testament was the Word of God, then I had to believe that the New Testament is the Word of God.

History and Accuracy of The Bible
I used to argue that the Bible was just a nice history book. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t. Maybe the people who wrote it changed the story to enhance or embellish what really happened. Who wrote the Bible and how do we know it is true? What proof is there that these things really happened and so on and so forth. Is there any evidence other than the Bible that Jesus really existed and that the events of His life actually happened?

Interesting Facts:
-The Bible was printed in 1454 A.D. by Johannes Gutenberg who invented the "type mold" for the printing press. It was the first book ever printed.

-The Bible was written in three languages: Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek. (all languages that are still spoken in the world and can be understood)

-The Bible was written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit by over 40 different authors from all walks of life: shepherds, farmers, tent-makers, physicians, fishermen, priests, philosophers and kings. Despite these differences in occupation and the span of years it took to write it, the Bible is an extremely cohesive and unified book. (God's Word is perfectly related and interwined, each book depending on and relating to another)

-The entire New Testament as we know it today, was canonized before the year 375 A.D. The Old Testament had previously been canonized long before the advent of Christ. "Canon" is derived front the Greek word "Kanon," signifying a measuring rod. Thus, to have the Bible "canonized" meant that it had been measured by the standard or test of divine inspiration and authority. It became the collection of books or writings accepted by the apostles and leadership of the early Christian church as a basis for Christian belief. It is the standard by which all Christians throughout the ages live and worship.

-The Bible is the best selling book of all time. According to the British TIMES newspaper in 1996: "Forget modern British novelists and TV tie-ins, the Bible is the best-selling book every year. If sales of the Bible were included in best-seller lists, it would be a rare week when anything else would achieve a look in. It is wonderful, weird ... that in this godless age... this one book should go on selling, every month."

“If the Bible is God's message to us, we should hope its version of history is accurate. It is.
For example, the Bible reports that Jesus of Nazareth performed many miracles, was executed by the Romans, and rose from the dead. Numerous ancient historians corroborate the Bible's account of the life of Jesus and his followers:

Multiple historians wrote accounts of the life and death of Jesus which corroborate Christian reports with secular reports of Christ’s life/death/resurrection.

-Cornelius Tacitus (A.D. 55-120), an historian of first-century Rome, is considered one of the most accurate historians of the ancient world. An excerpt from Tacitus tells us that the Roman emperor Nero "inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class...called Christians. ...Christus [Christ], from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus...."2

-Flavius Josephus, a Jewish historian (A.D. 38-100+), wrote about Jesus in his Jewish Antiquities. From Josephus, "we learn that Jesus was a wise man who did surprising feats, taught many, won over followers from among Jews and Greeks, was believed to be the Messiah, was accused by the Jewish leaders, was condemned to be crucified by Pilate, and was considered to be resurrected."

-Suetonius, Pliny the Younger, and Thallus also wrote about Christian worship and persecution that is consistent with New Testament accounts.

-Even the Jewish Talmud, certainly not biased toward Jesus, concurs about the major events of his life. From the Talmud, "we learn that Jesus was conceived out of wedlock, gathered disciples, made blasphemous claims about himself, and worked miracles, but these miracles are attributed to sorcery and not to God."

This is remarkable information considering that most ancient historians focused on political and military leaders, not on obscure rabbis from distant provinces of the Roman Empire. Yet ancient historians (Jews, Greeks and Romans) confirm the major events that are presented in the New Testament, even though they were not believers themselves.”

Source:http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ

Interestingly our dates are still based on BC and AD-Why would the entire world base its dating system on “just a man named Jesus Christ” and thereby differentiate years by "Before Christ" and Anno "Domini"?

“There are more than 14,000 existing Old Testament manuscripts and fragments copied throughout the Middle East, Mediterranean and European regions that agree dramatically with each other. In addition, these texts agree with the Septuagint version of the Old Testament, which was translated from Hebrew to Greek some time during the 3rd century BC. The Dead Sea Scrolls, discovered in Israel in the 1940's and 50's, also provide phenomenal evidence for the reliability of the ancient transmission of the Jewish Scriptures (Old Testament) before the arrival of Jesus Christ.” - http://www.allabouttruth.org/origin-of-the-bible.htm


This chart shows the comparison of the New Testament to other ancient writings.

*McDowell, Josh. The New Evidence that Demands a Verdict (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999), p. 55. -- http://www.everystudent.com/features/bible.html#arch

As you can see, the time gap between when New Testament was written and the record of the earliest copies of the New Testament texts were found is the smallest of the list above. Yet, people around the world trust the validity of the writings of Homer or Plato more than they do the Bible. Also note the sheer numbers of copies of the New Testament compared to the copies of other historical writings.

The Gospels, The Truth

Imagine if four of us sat down and wrote a story of an event that we all experienced together. We all would have different viewpoints, but essentially we would all write the same story. That is the case in the Gospels as well. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all told the same stories about Jesus, but just from different viewpoints.

The chart below shows some of the events that each Apostle wrote about.

Matthew and John knew Jesus personally, had traveled with Him and seen Him perform a variety of miracles. Mark and Luke were close associates of the Apostles and had direct access to the events they wrote about.

God used the prophets in the Old Testament and the Apostles in the New Testament to give us His message through the Bible, the Word of God. God gave us the Bible so that we would have His written Word to guide our lives. The people of Israel had God himself to guide them and they still disobeyed Him. God then sent his Son down to earth in the form of Man, (in a form that we could understand), as an example of how He wanted us to live our lives. And God has given us the Word to always turn to for guidance.

2 Samuel 22:31 31 “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.”

Isaiah 55:8-11
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

What about the Bible “getting lost in translation? This used to be one of my many arguments against Christianity and the Bible. Surely it lost some of its meaning being translated and passed along right? I was wrong.

For instance, we know the New Testament we have today is true to its original form because:

1. We have such a huge number of manuscript copies--over 24,000(this number reflects the number of total manuscripts of the New Testament including the text in the languages of Syriac, Latin, Coptic, and Aramaic more than any other ancient writing in all of antiquity).

2. Those copies have been cross checked and agree with each other, word for word, 99.5% of the time (most of the things that account for the variance are words missing a letter such as “thee” instead of “the”, the reversing of two words such as "Christ Jesus" instead of "Jesus Christ", or the absence of words that are insignificant such as “of,” “and,” and “or.”)

3. The dates of these manuscripts are very close to the dates of their originals. (unlike the rest of the historical writings in the above chart.

http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ

“The Holy Bible has been translated into 2,018 languages, with countless more partial translations, and audio translations (for unwritten languages). (This is an enormous amount of translations. In comparison, Shakespeare, considered by many to be the master writer of the English language, has only been translated into 50 languages.)” -- http://bibleresources.bible.com/afacts.php

Translations are actually made directly from original Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic source texts based on thousands of ancient manuscripts. These languages still exist today so millions of people can easily verify the accuracy of the text.

Dr. Ravi Zacharias, a visiting professor at Oxford University, also comments: "In real terms, the New Testament is easily the best attested ancient writing in terms of the sheer number of documents, the time span between the events and the documents, and the variety of documents available to sustain or contradict it. There is nothing in ancient manuscript evidence to match such textual availability and integrity."

The New Testament is humanity's most reliable ancient document. Its textual integrity is more certain than that of Plato's writings or Homer's Iliad. For a comparison of the New Testament to other ancient writings, click here.

The Old Testament has also been remarkably well preserved. Our modern translations are confirmed by a huge number of ancient manuscripts in both Hebrew and Greek, including the mid-20th century discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls. These scrolls hold the oldest existing fragments of almost all of the Old Testament books, dating from 150 B.C. The similarity of the Dead Sea manuscripts to hand copies made even 1,000 years later is proof of the care the ancient Hebrew scribes took in copying their scriptures.

http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ
Romans 10:17 “17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”

Does God Exist?

Did he create the heavens and earth and all things on it? What does that say about me?

“One question which inevitably comes up in a discussion of this nature is what is the origin of God? If God created matter/energy, and designed the systems that have propelled matter into its present arrangement, who or what accomplished that for God? Why is it any more reasonable to believe that God has always “been” than it is to say that matter has always “been”?” http://www.doesgodexist.org/

This page talks in detail about the scientific proof of the validity of God’s existence.

“The purpose of this booklet is to take a literal acceptance of what the Genesis record really says in the original language and compare it with the scientific evidence--the purpose being to see how closely they match.”

Does God Exist?
1. The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today. (example of the watch without a watch maker, nothing is made without a designer)
2. The human brain's complexity shows a higher intelligence behind it. (Could chance really create a human body that functions like ours, or a brain that functions so highly like ours?)
3. "Chance" or "natural causes" are insufficient explanations.
4. To state with certainty that there is no God, a person has to ignore the passion of an enormously vast number of people who are convinced that there is a God. (This is displayed in the radical life changes that are apparent in true believers)
5. We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him. (I know this personally now.)
6. Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God pursuing us. (He gave his only Son to die for us)
http://www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html (items in quotations are my comments)

Romans 1:18-20 says “18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”
God has shown us in the things he has made (creation in Genesis) that he exists and that he is eternal and divine. This site has a great explanation in short detail on some of the amazing things that point to God’s existence.

There are so many things in this world that lead me to believe in God. The way women are made to have babies, the way certain animals in different parts of the world differ slightly to endure their environment. There are some amazing examples of God’s design in food. The average ear of corn has 800 kernels, arranged in 16 rows. There is one piece of silk for each kernel; Striped watermelons always have an even number of stripes; Citrus fruits always have an even number of sections. These are examples of God in existence, in all He created.

Some people try to explain creation without God. They call this the theory of evolution. Webster’s New World Dictionary defines theory as “1 A speculative plan 2 a formulation of underlying principles of certain observed phenomena which has been verified to some degree 3 the principles of an art or science rather than it’s practice 4 a conjecture; guess”

Just as a watch cannot be made without a watch-maker, nothing in this world was made without God. The chances of evolution are like the chance of a tornado tearing through a junkyard and assembling a 747. All the pieces to build the plane might be there, but without a designer, it just isn’t possible. This is essentially what believers in the Big Bang Theory are saying, that something went bang and all these highly complex, highly intelligence beings and things were created, just like that.

God is the ultimate designer. He is eternal and beyond anything our brains can fathom. To try and box him into our understanding and knowledge is a mistake. That would be making God in our image instead of the other way around.

Discovering My Sin
When I finally realized that I did believe in God and I did believe that the Bible is His Word, I then had some tough times ahead of me, for this is when I had to face my sin, something I had been avoiding for a long time. People call sin all kinds of things -- mistakes, unawareness, ignorance, circumstances. I called sin "normal" - everybody does it, right? Well, that part is true, everybody does it. Since Adam and Eve, we live in a fallen world. God gave Adam and Eve everything they needed, but Satan tempted them and caused them to sin, throwing us all into sinful lives. God says that even sin that is unintentional still has to be atoned for.

Numbers 15:22-31
22 "Now if you unintentionally fail to keep any of these commands the LORD gave Moses- 23 any of the LORD's commands to you through him, from the day the LORD gave them and continuing through the generations to come- 24 and if this is done unintentionally without the community being aware of it, then the whole community is to offer a young bull for a burnt offering as an aroma pleasing to the LORD, along with its prescribed grain offering and drink offering, and a male goat for a sin offering. 25 The priest is to make atonement for the whole Israelite community, and they will be forgiven, for it was not intentional and they have brought to the LORD for their wrong an offering made by fire and a sin offering. 26 The whole Israelite community and the aliens living among them will be forgiven, because all the people were involved in the unintentional wrong. 27 'But if just one person sins unintentionally, he must bring a year-old female goat for a sin offering. 28 The priest is to make atonement before the LORD for the one who erred by sinning unintentionally, and when atonement has been made for him, he will be forgiven. 29 One and the same law applies to everyone who sins unintentionally, whether he is a native-born Israelite or an alien. 30 " 'But anyone who sins defiantly, whether native-born or alien, blasphemes the LORD, and that person must be cut off from his people. 31 Because he has despised the LORD's word and broken his commands, that person must surely be cut off; his guilt remains on him.' "

The first sin was committed by Adam and Eve when they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 2:16-17 “16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

This implies that they would not have had to experience death had they not sinned against God. They would have had eternal life with God, but because they sinned, they were separated from God and condemned to death. God is righteous and He would not be righteous if He did not follow through with what He said He would do. Adam and Eve both eventually died as has every person since them. No one escapes it, no matter how rich, popular, good-looking, etc.

Romans 5:12-13 “12Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— 13for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law.”

Romans 3:23 tells us that every one of us sins. “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and Romans 6:23 tells us the consequences of sin, “23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 5:19
19For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

Another example of God’s righteousness regarding sin is the fact that after God used Moses to lead the people of Israel all the way to the edge of the land that He had promised them, God did not allow Moses to enter due to what would seem to some to be an understandable moment of frustration, but to God was disobedience and failure to trust in Him In Numbers 20:7-8. “7The LORD said to Moses, 8Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.’”

In Numbers 20:9-11 Moses disobeys God. “9So Moses took the staff from the LORD's presence, just as he commanded him. 10He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" 11Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.

Numbers 20:12 12But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

Because Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, and in doing so, disobeyed God, God would not allow Moses or Aaron to enter the land He had promised the Israelites because of their disobedience.

God has given us rules in a way that seems simple, The Ten Commandments, but when you really read each one and think about what each one really means, and what it means to obey each one, you see how we are sinful by nature because we cannot keep God’s Commandments. (The only Man to ever live a completely sinless life was Jesus Christ)

God prefaces the Ten Commandments with "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” (Exodus 20:2) God is reminding the people that He is the one that brought them out of Egypt. God heard their cries for help and brought them out of Egypt. In return, God expected reverence and obedience. God gave us these Commandments so that we might honor him in our actions. The people had just left a land full of false gods and idols, so God addresses these issues first.

Exodus 20:3-17
You shall have no other Gods before me.

You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Note: this is the only Commandment with a promise.)

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s."

At first glance, I thought, I keep those Commandments, I’m a good person, certainly better than a lot of people. But upon closer inspection, I was surprised to find how many I break and how often. For example, #1 & 2. Upon closer inspection, I realized that anything that is more important than God becomes an idol in my life. There have been plenty of times in my life that my selfishness has been my God, my idol. It has been said that an idol is anything that you are willing to sin in order to get or will sin if you don’t get it. I have broken #3 plenty of times. #4 I rarely have followed. Another Commandment I have broken is #8. Note that God does not say, “I will be lenient on these commandments. Stealing a pen is okay, but not a car.” No God says “Do not steal.” Plain and simple. I have definitely had troubling keeping #5. I have issues with #9 which basically says do not lie. God does not differentiate between big lie or little lie, he just says do not lie. I also have issues with #10. I occasionally will wish I had something my friends or someone else has. Lamenting that friends have better furniture than me or an easier job and so on and so forth is coveting. Even #6 and 7 I have been guilty of, because even our thoughts are subject to God’s commandments.(It is what is in our hearts that counts) If we let anger overtake us, thinking in a moment of anger that we might wish someone dead, we are committing murder in our hearts. (Matthew 5:20-22 21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. If we admire another man or woman or even think lustful thoughts about anyone we are guilty of adultery. Matthew 5:27-28 -- 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

As you can see, I have broken all Ten Commandments through out my life and continue to do so no matter how hard I try. I am thankful that God is a merciful God and that He has forgiven my sins through the death of Jesus Christ. I am a sinner and always will be, but I will strive to be more like Christ and the Lord will use trials and events in my life to make that happen. He will call me on my sin and force me to face it and turn from it.

Psalm 51:5 states,
“5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”
We are sinful from the day we are conceived. It is our human nature. Adam and Eve’s sin caused us all to be sinners.

In the Old Testament, God spends countless verses explaining the different offerings that were to be given for each type of sin and the ways to act as a community. God lays out clearly how we should act and what to do when we sin. Offerings were very specific and all offerings of animals had to be unblemished. Offerings of all other things had to be the top portion, the best of the grain, etc. God’s system shows us that a life has to be taken for sin. Sacrifices were for worship and forgiveness of sin. There were five main offerings, Burnt Offerings, Grain Offerings, Fellowship Offerings, Sin Offerings, and Guilt Offerings. Leviticus 1-7 details the offerings and how they are to be performed. I imagine the people back then spent the majority of their time atoning for their sin by giving sacrifices or worshiping God.

All of the offerings in the Old Testament are a foreshadowing of Jesus Christ being the ultimate lamb, the ultimate sacrifice. Old Testament offerings had to be unblemished, Jesus led an unblemished life, a life without sin and He is the only human to have ever done this. God sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins so that we would no longer have to make continuous offerings for our sins. God came down from heaven in the form of man (Jesus Christ) to atone for the sins of many. Hebrews 9:28 “so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.” John 3:16-17 “16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” The ultimate offering has been made.

Isaiah 53(note this is the chapter I found to be missing from my Torah) in the Old Testament foreshadows the coming of Jesus (the Messiah) and what He would be like and how and why He would die.
Isaiah 53 (comments and emphasis mine)
1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. (he would not outwardly look like the Messiah; that would have made it easier to follow him because he “looked” like what a human mind would conjure a Messiah to be; remember God's ways are not our ways.)
3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Jesus suffered greatly, was tested, but never faltered, never sinned) Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, (He died for our sins, God poured out his wrath against sin, all sins for all time for all people on His one and only Son so that we might have life, a life with God.) yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Jesus dying on the cross enabled God to forgive our sins, past, present and future.)
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. (Even during his crucifixion, Jesus did not speak against those that tortured him, in fact he prayed to God for them. Luke 34, “Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”)
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life (be raised from the dead) and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many (note it does not say all, for all will not choose to follow Him and believe in Him), and made intercession for the transgressors.

Hebrews 9:14 “14How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God. 15For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new Covenant that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance – now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 “8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.” (If we could get to heaven just by being good people or doing good things, where would the line be and what if someone changed their ways, would they be condemned for how they used to be or how they are now; the point is, none of us is perfect, can be perfect, etc, it's not possible, therefore we must accept this wonderful gift from God that is His Son as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins)

Hebrews 10:12 “But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God.”

John 3:16-18 reads, “16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.”

Christ is a priest forever, unlike any other priests, because He is the only one who can save us from our sin. Jesus was God in human form Hebrews 1:1-2 “1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.” (The Word is Jesus, substitute the word "Jesus" for "Word" in the above verses.)

Hebrews 7: 20-28
“20And it was not without an oath! Others became priests without any oath, 21but he became a priest with an oath when God said to him: "The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind: 'You are a priest forever.' 22Because of this oath, Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant. (The new covenant or second covenant)
23Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; 24but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. 25Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.
26Such a high priest meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. 27Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself. 28For the law appoints as high priests men who are weak; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever.”

Because our sin separates us from God, we cannot have a direct relationship with Him, except through Jesus. God is holy and cannot sin, be around sin, entertain sin, nothing. In the Old Testament this was shown when Moses asked God to show him His glory.

Exodus 33:21- 23 “21 Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

God wouldn’t even let Moses, said to be the second most humble man ever (next to Jesus) see His glory. Yet, Moses was so close to God, that when he came down from Mount Sinai, his face was so radiant it scared the people. (Exodus 34:29-30)

Jesus explains how we can have a relationship with God and the way in which that relationship is possible.

John 14: 6 “6Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” (The only way to heaven is through faith in Christ, not by works or good deeds or being a good person)

The Holy Spirit works in my life

The changes that have occurred in my life over the past 6 months have amazed me and taken me by surprise. I am a completely different person and many of the changes have been evidenced in my language, my thoughts, how I choose to spend my free time, without me really making any major life change except accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

In the Old Testament, God put the Spirit of Himself into a person for a time or purpose, for example with Saul in 1 Samuel 10:10 “When they arrived at Gibeah, a procession of prophets met him; the Spirit of God came about him in power and he joined them in prophesying.”

Numbers 24:2 “2When Balaam looked out and saw Israel encamped tribe by tribe, the Spirit of God came upon him”

With the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is now in all of us if we believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The Holy Spirit will fill our hearts if we will open our hearts and allow that to happen.

John 14:16-18
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

The Holy Spirit is not a vague, ethereal shadow, nor an impersonal force. He is a person equal in every way with God the Father and God the Son. He is considered to be the third member of the Godhead. Jesus said to His apostles...
"All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matt. 28:18-20)

“God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And all the divine attributes ascribed to the Father and the Son are equally ascribed to the Holy Spirit. When a person becomes born again by believing and receiving Jesus Christ (John 1:12-13; John 3:3-21), God resides in that person through the Holy Spirit (1Cor. 3:16). The Holy Spirit has intellect (1Cor. 2:10-11), emotion (Rom. 15:30), and will (1Cor. 12:11).” -

http://everystudent.com/forum/hspirit.html?gclid=COqvpcLZk40CFRlmWAodCGLQog

I truly know that the Holy Spirit has been working in me. For about 6 months to a year now I have been praying for God to show me the truth in regards to my beliefs, whatever the truth was. If that meant that I would become a Christian, then so be it. I put it in God’s hands and trusted Him enough to lead me where He wanted me to be. As I mentioned above, I did Bible Study for a little while, answering the questions “correctly”, but not really getting the whole truth out of what I was reading. When I truly let go and let God take over my life, that is when reading the Bible changed for me. I all of a sudden saw things clearly. Things that I had read before, but gotten nothing out of, now impacted me greatly. The words held different meaning, it was like I had been reading in a different language before and now I understood that language.

About 8 months ago I decided to go to Church with my husband one week. I don’t know why this week was any different than any other week, but I felt led to go. At Church they mentioned a ladies Bible Study that was coming up for the summer. I later mentioned to my husband that I thought I might like to go. These things came out of my mouth without me thinking about them really or realizing what I was doing. Why would I want to go to Bible Study?

I started ladies Bible Study at the beginning of June and missed only one all summer. We read a book called Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick that helped me to see the idols that I make for myself and the things we worship other than God. It was a great way for me to connect with other women who struggle with the same things I struggle with. It was also an eye opening experience to be around Christian women and learn that a)Christians really are that at peace and nice because they are believers and have the faith, b)are sinners just like me and struggle with many of the same things I struggle with and c)learn more about God and having a relationship with Him through these women and their experiences/struggles.

At the same time, I started going to Church every Wednesday evening. Where as before, the Pastor would rub me the wrong way with his preaching, now I was learning from it. It was touching my heart and teaching me things. I was then asked to volunteer at Vacation Bible School. This was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn along with the kids the story of Jonah. I learned more than the kids I think.

Then I decided I would start going on Sunday mornings as well as Wednesdays. So now I was going to Church Wednesday nights, Friday mornings for Bible Study and Sundays. Before, I never wanted to go to Church because it took up my free time. Before, the words sinner, unbeliever, and saved made my skin crawl. All of a sudden, my heart had been changed and it can only be attributed to the Holy Spirit working in my heart to show me the truth. I know that sounds far fetched, but it is the only way I can explain it. All of those decisions regarding going to Church were made without thought, without intent, without my husband encouraging me to do so. Nothing in my life had changed, yet everything in my life had changed.

This summer I was having an issue in my life and wanted some counseling on it. I knew that I wanted Biblical counseling because that is now where I get my guidance. I met with the Pastor from the church and he gave me some wonderful advice. I discussed with him some of my lingering questions about Jesus and his explanation seemed to clear up the last bit of doubt in my mind. After that point, I knew that I had become a Christian, a believer. I know that God created this world, including me. I know that God sent His only Son to earth to teach the world how to live a holy life and to die so that our sins would be forgiven. I know that Jesus rose from the dead to prove that He was truly the Son of God. I know that The Bible is the infallible, inerrant Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17 -- 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.) and that the Lord gave us The Bible as an instruction manual on how to live our lives, as a history to remind us of His promises and His righteousness, His Holiness, His expectations. I know these things in my heart.

Before I became a believer, I had many misconceptions about Christianity. I thought that Christians were zealots, overly strict, stifled by the rules of some “book.” What I have found about being a Christian is that it is the most freeing experience I have ever had. I have had such peace in my life since June 20th when I became a believer. I know that my life will not always be easy, but I can always be thankful for what happens because I know that God has a plan for me and that His plan is good and that any trials He gives me are a direct result of my sin and are to be used to conform me more to the image of His Son.

Ephesians 1:4-14
“4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.”

All the questions that I detailed and answered here were questions that I thought I had all the answers to before I began this journey. The problem was, I never really thought those questions through very well, nor did I really think about the answers to those questions in any detail. When I finally started digging into the whys of my beliefs, I began to realize that my beliefs were not based on anything of substance. My decision to become a Christian is the result of me being led by God to look at my beliefs and putting an effort into answering those questions I had about God, who He is and why do I exist (to glorify God).

This transformation was not an easy one. At times, I struggled immensely with pride, with letting go of the person I had worked so hard to become. With letting go of my selfish desires, with facing the fact that I am a sinner and that I do need a Savior. I had to fight against everything I had ever known. We cannot do this without the help of the Lord, but with His strength all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 -- Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I am so thankful to God that He led me to this place in my life and I look forward to the ways in which I can live my life to glorify Him. I cannot tell you how much peace this decision has brought to my life. I am not saying that I don’t have hard times or that I don’t struggle daily, but I have peace that all things are in God’s plan and that His plan is good and that I should be thankful in all things (1Thessalonians 5:16-18 “16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”). This gives me peace. I also have strength in prayer now. Knowing that I am not alone, that God is with me at all times, helps build me up in times of need.

If you have made it this far, I thank you for reading and hope that if you have any questions or want clarification on anything that you will email me at shootersstation (at) gmail (dot) com or leave a comment. All I ask is that you be respectful and nice. Thank you for reading.

Emotions

This scares me.

This and this make me laugh.

This makes me think.

This comforts me.

This also makes me think.

This gives me hope. And Awe.

Question

While listening to something with hubby last night, this question popped into my head:

If God/Jesus doesn't exist, why is His name the only one ever taken in vain?


Why doesn't anyone ever say, Muhommad Dammit or Joseph Smith instead of Jesus Christ. Or what about Oh My Buddha?


Why is the Lord's name used instead of any other?


Perhaps He is the One true God?

Monday mmmmblah...

I'm having one of those Mondays. One of those days where I don't want to do anything but crawl back into bed and start again tomorrow with the right attitude. I have 10 trillion things to do, a major project at work that is almost done, would be done if I could just figure out why this one little stupid number is not matching up with the formula, and we leave town on Wednesday for 4 days. Joy of the holidays, didn't I just say something about loving it and keeping it and not being all bah humbug about it all like I usually am? I am determined to get back into that mode.

So, here's my best smile and my best effort at being up beat and not ... sorry, had to stop for a moment there... Boo Bear had been playing with the kitchen timer and it just went off, giving me a heart attack. How's that for comedic relief!

Smile, eventually your heart catches up with your mouth.

The holidays and salvation

That title may lend itself quite well to a different type of post, but for me today, that title has to do with the season and my mood.

I am usually the kind of person that both loves the holidays and dreads the holidays. I used to hate listening to Christmas music one second before Christmas Eve. The stores and their stupid holiday displays drove me crazy, especially so early in October! The grocery store and the chaos that it is during the holiday season drove me up the wall and I avoided such areas like the plague.

This year: I am already listening to Christmas music and enjoying every minute. I went to the store today and reveled in the chaos that is the holidays. For it means a time for family and food and thanksgiving and joy and that pleases me. I was calm and not rude and stressed yesterday at the mall as I drove around looking for a parking place. I am not sure who this person is, but it can only be attributed to my new salvation. Nothing else could possibly have altered my personality so greatly!

I pray that the Lord continues to sustain me in this holiday time as we come upon holidays and anniversaries and birthdays and more parties than we generally care to attend, only because we have so many and although that should be a blessing, in years passed, we have alwasy grumbled about having to go to another party and buy another under $20 gift and make another dish. Instead, we should be thankful we have friends and family to spend this time of year with.

I know that I am. What are you thankful for this year, that you might not have been last year?

SPH: I love (Blank)

I love... my...

V to the A to the C to the...

A to the T to the I to the O to the N.

VACATION

It is looking like we will be going on vacation. I just wrote a check for a deposit on a house in Costa Rica. We are getting a totally sweet deal, (yes, I just said, totally sweet - because I am 80's cool like that.) We are going with friends, one of whom works for a major airline, so we are getting buddy tickets, not free, but cheap. Basically for two people, airfare and lodging we are paying, well not much and that of course is why we can even afford to go. I have struggled with going on this vacation for a variety of reasons. In fact, we had been planning it 4 months ago fervently and then decided that we just couldn't do it. As we near the birth of this second baby, we will be struggling more financially. Mainly due to the fact that this time I have no maternity leave pay. It will be a good test to see how we do on just one income and to see if I can spend some time building Announce The Bump to help out at least a little bit. I really struggled with going on vacation going into a season where we will be struggling, but I also struggled with the fact that we have not had a vacation since 3 months before Boo Bear was born and in light of the fact that we are about to have another one, it's been a long time and it's going to be a long time since my husband and I have gotten to spend some quality time away from work, family, etc.

I also struggled because of not seeing my family that lives far away this year. We have gone back and forth about whether it was really feasible to go on vacation and to visit family. I am still hoping to get to NM to see my Mom and my sister and grandmother for sure and we have not totally ruled that out, but this trip was just too good a deal to pass up and we need it badly.

So, in about 3 weeks, I will be sitting here and drinking this (virg*in - bummer) and on my birthday too!

Invasion of the Little People

Beware of the little people. Or not.

Our new favorite pastime

Pot and Pan inventory. She screams if we try to put them away.

Shocked and Awed

Is anyone else freaking out because it's already November 12th? Does anyone realize that Thanksgiving is next week? Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Thankfulness

Yesterday, I could not find the words to express my feelings towards my Baptism. Today, I am given the words. Today I get Baptized. More about that shortly.

Today as you know is Veterans Day and I want to thank all of those that willingly serve our country so that we have the freedoms that we do. Today is also the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. These seemingly distinct events have more to do with each other than I ever could have imagined. This morning a friend of ours who serves in the armed forces was at Church and had brought 3 of his fellow soldiers with him. As the pastor asked them to stand to be recognized as those who serve our country and fight for our freedoms, I was overcome by gratitude to them, but also to God that we live in country where I can sit in a Church and worship the way I want to worship. That I do not have to worry about persecution for my beliefs as so many around the world do. I am thankful that so many men and women have fought and continue to fight for the freedoms that we have in this country and I am so thankful that God chose for me to live in this country.

The service this morning was very powerful starting when the Pastor asked all the veterans to stand. The Pastor then discussed the persecution of Christians throughout the world. It's amazing that 70% of the world's Christians do not live in countries where they are free to practice their religion freely. 70%. We here in America take it for granted that we can go to Church when and where we want and we don't have to worry about being killed for doing so. One study said that 164,000 Christians were killed for their faith in one year. That comes out to 400 people per day. Wow! We were shown a video re-enactment of the story of a woman named "Sarah" from China who was beaten and tortured and imprisoned for 6 years for having been the editor of an underground Christian newspaper. Ironically, in her years in prison, she made Christmas lights to be sent to the US. The story was horrific and I sat there so thankful that I live where I can Baptized. Where I have that freedom. Where those that hate Christians can freely speak against them. Where anyone can speak their mind and not be persucted in such horrific ways. I was humbled by this. I was anxious and nervous about this evening as I knew this was the first time that my real family and my Church family would meet. I was nervous because I knew that the things that not only I would be saying in my testimony, but the testimonies of others, would be hard for my family to hear. I was also overwhelmed by the power of the evening. This was a big step for me, an outward sign of my inward belief, but I also understood on some level that hearing the testimonies tonight could have some very powerful effects on those who do not believe in Christ. I know that God uses events such as Baptism's like this to change lives and I can only hope that my testimony has touched the life of someone that was there tonight.

That may not have done how I felt today justice at all, but I can tell you that I am blessed today.

It is amazing to me that the name Jesus Christ can cause such hatred. If He isn't real, if He doesn't mean anything, if He is not the Son of God, then why do so many people hate Him? Why are people willing to kill those that believe in Him. It is also amazing to me that people will die for Him. The Pastor told the true story of a group of people who had gathered for a Bible study. The police busted in and threw a Bible on the ground and said that everyone must spit on the Bible or they would be shot to death. Many people spit on the Bible as they ran out of the Church. One person knelt down and picked up the Bible wiping the spit from the cover and said, "Forgive those that have spit on God's Word". The last sound he heard was the gunshot that killed him. I wonder if I were put in a similar situation, could I do the same thing. Would I have the courage to stand up for my faith. To stand up for my Savior.

Photography

Here are some of my favorite shots from recent times. Sorry, I don't have much to post, I'm pooped. We cleaned all day and I still have stuff to do.
Enjoy.

The Little Why's of Life

Why, after over 10 years with my lovely watch, did I have to go and lose it? I miss you watch, my wrist is lonely.

Why do I always keep the heel of the bread in the bag, even though I never use it. It just gets in the way of the "good" bread.

Why does my child when I give her a coloring book, make a mark on every single page instead of coloring on one page.

Why do I procrastinate? No really, why? Nevermind, I'll ask you later.

Why is it that the only reason I can remember a colleague's phone number is because it has the same last four digits as a high school boyfriend? But I can't remember my own telephone number from high school.

Why does everything happen at once? Why do multiple days keep attacking me at once and why does that far off date get here so fast?

Why are assumptions such a difficult thing to master and get rid of and why are we so disappointed when those assumptions are not met, even when we know they are assumptions and not reality?

Why aren't there more hours in a day? Would we waste those too on worthless things?

What Why's are you pondering today?

Blame it on the pregnancy or something

I missed a meeting this morning. With my boss. On a good day this is a bad thing. But due to my work at home status and the fact that my house is between my boss' house and the office, once a week, she stops by my house in the morning and we have a weekly meeting. I know, I know, I am truly blessed and have no reason to complain about anything ever.

Last week we canceled this particular meeting because I am in the middle of a huge project. The annual project which really continues to earn me my paycheck. Yes, I do other things throughout the year, but this particular project is the reason for my job title. Yada, yada. So this week I assumed (we all know all about that word) that we were not meeting again. la tee da.

So... where was I. Yes, I didn't sleep well last night, finally falling asleep on the couch about 6:00 after being up 4 or 5 times, only to be awoken 45 minutes later by the sound of a waterfall. I tried to ignore it. It sounded like the washing machine or dish washer. Couldn't be it. I finally figured out it through sleep stupor and process of illimination, the sprinklers. What I could not figure out what was it was so darn loud.

I finally got up to see what the noise was all about. I had left the window in the kitchen/dining area open and there happens to be a sprinkler head right there. Fabulous. I didn't bother checking for damage, I just closed the window and went back to bed.

All that to say, my darling hubby got up with the Boo Bear and fed her breakfast and I crawled out of bed at about 8:30. Poor me, I know. I threw on some gouchos, a long sleeve t-shirt, brushed my teeth (thankfully) and threw my hair in a poinytail. 15 minutes later right after hubby walked out the door, I was standing at the kitchen sink throwing up when I looked up to see my boss in the driveway.

I froze momentarily and then did the frantic, do I have time to put pants on/makeup/real clothes/shoes/anything!!!!! Nope, answer the door. On another tangent, because I cannot tell a story without them, the front foyer is never used for anything but toys, because we don't use the front door and it's the only place in the living room area for the toys. When the door bell rang, I began the foot sweep of trying to clear enough room to even get the door open at all.

I apologized profusely for my appearance, for the lack of unpreparation, for being a total loser and for assuming something I shouldn't have. She was very gracious, thank the Lord, and said no problem, we could talk about everything on the phone.

I feel like a dunce. I am a dunce. It's amazing they pay me at all.

Full Emmersion: Bigger than Words

There is something huge happening in my life this week. Very big to me. So big, even, it's bigger than I can really put into words.


I have tried to write about this all week and haven't been able to. Tomorrow I get Baptized. I am excited and happy for this day to finally be here. I am also nervous and anxious. My Dad and Stepmom will be there, my aunt will be there and a handful of friends. I cannot even begin to put into words the feelings I am having regarding tomorrow, but I hope after tomorrow to be able to tell you more.

World's most boring post... Ever

I got nothing. Nothing at all really.

Today consisted of:

• work
• child meltdown #1
• flu shot
• ouch
• child meltdown #2
• work
• work
• work
• work
• fold clothes
• work
• work
• dinner at Nana's
• child meltdown #3
• blog
• nighty night

Spinning

It's one of those days. I am trying to only focus on one day at a time, but I am failing miserably. I have a work deadline looming next Friday and I am faaareeaking out a little bit about getting it all done. On top of that, I am trying to stay on top of the house work and take care of my family all while continuing to do all the other little things that just pop up like doctor's appointments, etc.

I know that tomorrow will be a different day, but today, I feel like I am running full speed and not getting anywhere at all.

Pithy Post Title

I gots nothing. Nothing at all. So have some mundane randomness.

I was pre-registering at the hospital website for this baby to be born (no time soon please!) and just love it when I get to the questions about what I am going to be coming in for. For some reason the question, "Diagnosis?" seems silly to me in this particular instance. Um, pregnant?

There is a possibility that hubby and I might be getting to go on a real live, adult only vacation in the next month. I might just keel over and die if it happens. After the vacation of course. ;-)

Did I mention that my daughter can pick out her letters from A to E? I know, smart huh? Or maybe not, but I was pretty impressed. Her little voice is so cute, saying each letter. Technically she doesn't say E so much as when you point to E, she says, "Elmo."

And that's all for today folks!

The Faces of Motherhood

I do realize that I have been cheating the last couple of days. Just some mere quick words or photos to meet my obligation. I will try to do better. Promises, promises...

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Yesterday I met my parents half way between our two houses to exchange Boo Bear for a night of dates with my husband and quiet for me today. Not really so much for that as my parents begged to keep her for a night. Hubby and I got to spend a wonderful evening out together. We went to eat at a new Italian restaurant that was quite good. Service was mediocre, but the food and my good mood made up for that. Then, so as not to waste the time without child, we took a trip to Sam's to get diapers. But we took the time to stroll leisurely through the isles, holding hands and looking at things that are on our "Yeah, Right" Wish list. Things like 57" flat screen TV's and laptops. Okay, so the laptop is something we might actually get some day, but I don't see us ever buying a TV like that. We just don't watch enough TV to even warrant that kind of spend, and we have two perfectly good TV's as it is. We're simple people, with simple wants generally.

One thing I noticed when we got home was the silence. With child(ren) in the house, there is never true quiet. There is always an underlying current, a buzz of noise, and expectant feeling. Even when they are sleeping, we as parents are always poised to jump at a moments notice. No matter how long at a time they sleep, it is never truly quiet. I felt out of place, like something was missing (she was), listening to the quiet.

Today getting ready for Church and on the drive to Church I noticed it even more. No jabbering from the back seat. No one for me to talk to you. No turning around to see her expectant face, waiting for me to tell her what something is or acknowledge her when she says, "Cuck" (Truck) or "Caaaahhhs" (Cars) or my favorite, "pahl-puss" (school bus). No looking at her bouncing head and smiling face when Toby Mac's Burn for You comes on the radio. On the way home after eating a quiet, peaceful breakfast with my husband, I drove home in silence to a quiet house. As always when I have time without my daughter, I have trouble deciding what to do first. Do I clean, do I run errands, do I relax? What to do, what to do?

So, what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen, swept and mopped the disgusting floors and I am now chilling. Ahhh...

Your turn: What do you do when the kids are gone?

What's all the Buzz About

Token Halloween shot, 4 days late. She has three different costumes. Here are two. The Texas Cheerleader outfit really isn't a costume so much as a way of life. Hook Em!

Go Horns!
Buzzzzzzzz!

What was that I said about posting all month?

Yeah, that! It's only November 1st and already I have writer's block... We went to church last night so I don't even have any cute token Halloween pictures to post. That would have been easy. So, I guess I will just have share these other cute shots of Boo Bear and I did finally take a tummy shot. Here you go, my first post of NaBloPoMo. Exciting, huh?

My little cutie!

Her latest "trick," surprised face.

And the token belly shot, 20 weeks. Hello Bellybean.
Sorry it's fuzzy, the counter just wouldn't hold still.

The Joys of Parenthood

These days I find myself spewing words that I never thought I would say for any reason before I had children.

Things like these gems have flown from my mouth recently.

"Get your hands out of your pants." Said as she has her hand down the back of her diaper. Don't go there!

"Would you like for me to wrap up teddy in the blanket?" Said when she plopped a huge teddy bear and a blanket in my lap and walked away.

"Quit licking the grocery cart."

"Get off the floor!!!" Said as she wipes her entire body across the floor (which of course is not clean!) She does this everywhere, the grocery store, someone else's house, outside.

Oh the joys.

We had a little bit of a scare last night. As I was getting gas on my way to my Grandmother-in-laws' for dinner, my MIL noticed that Boo Bear's top right two teeth looked odd. I climbed in the car to get a better peek. Sure enough, the gum looked like it was swollen and was covering almost completely her top middle tooth and the one to the right of that. I tried scraping at it gently thinking it might just be food or something. Nothing came off. I was a little worried, but said I would wait until I had a chance to brush her teeth. We got to dinner and I caught a glimpse of her teeth again and it really had me worried.

I'm going through all her recent tumbles trying to remember if she hit her mouth. I can't remember one in which this happened. I am going through the scenerios of dead teeth and all that that might mean. I am trying to not freak out and not think of the fact that we have no dental insurance, that we are still paying off a large amount of ER bills (2 visits) and trying to just trust that it is all in God's hands and that nothing is the end of the world when it comes to teeth.

I was doing pretty good until hubby got there and he took a look and was horrified. We looked up at the roof of her mouth and that was gray too. It was really scary looking, yet we could not figure out how in the world she could have hit her mouth that hard and had us not notice. I was having a serious case of Mommy Guilt. "Do I brush her teeth enough? Should I brush them more? Do I give her too much juice? How could I not notice if she killed her teeth?"

We ate dinner after praying that God would somehow heal her teeth. After hubby was laying on the floor playing with Boo Bear. All of a sudden he points at Boo Bear and yells, "It's all gone!" We are all looking at him like he is crazy. "What's gone?" I ask. "Her teeth are fixed." Sure enough!! We looked again and her teeth were fine. I guess it was food after all. I had given her grapes as a snack before dinner at our house and somehow a skin had managed to seriously attach itself to her teeth and the roof of her mouth in such a way that it looked like her two top right teeth were dead. Talk about answered prayer!!! Praise God that it was nothing serious! We had a good laugh over it for sure.