An Orbituary

Common Sense Died 24/7/365 in America

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense

who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since

his birth records were lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to

come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn)

and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge.)

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations

were set in place. Reports of a six-year old boy charged with sexual harassment for

kissing a classmate; teens suspended for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher

fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; however, they could not inform parents when a student became

pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion;

his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two step-brothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still know him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.