Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Lacking Creativity

As you can tell by most of my recent posts, I have been lacking creative juices and anything to really write about. There is actually plenty going on in my life right now, but most of which I choose not to post here.

I have been feeling like a change in my life lately. I guess getting my hair cut short was the first sign. I always cut off my hair or change the color drastically when I am itching for a change. As I read through a friend's account of the birth of her first child, I am realizing that along the fence of to have kids soon or not, I tend to lately be more on the have them soon side. I am ready. I am almost thirty, no kids, will be married for a year in November and am ready to move on to the next chapter in my life. I even looked at an old email with cats in it and thought, I want a cat. I am allergic to cats, but can usually manage okay if I get them as kittens. I would love a dog, but seeing as we don't have a house or a yard... I've done that once to a poor dog, I will never do it again. I want a house. I want a new car. Mainly I should just clean the one I have and it would greatly improve. My hubby likens my car to the ball pit at Chuck E Cheese as I have so many empty water bottles. It really is a good analogy. It's not that I am bored with my life. I am very content with my life, I am just ready to move forward. I am ready to be a Mom. I hear about friend's accounts and think, I can't wait to do that. Then I think, I hate picking up after myself and my hubby, what am I going to do with children. I hate doing 2 loads of dishes in two days. I hate laundry. I like freedom, to go and do whatever, whenever. That fence is low. I hop over it a lot. Kids Now. Hop. Not right now! Hop. Yes, now. Hop! Hmmm, I don't think so. Hop. Hop. Hop.

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