Calling all Mommies and Daddies

I want to hear your birth stories. Leave a comment or post on your own site and leave a comment telling me you posted. I want to hear what it was like when you first went into labor. What was it like on your trip to the hospital or to the bedroom if you stayed at home? How did you deal with the pain? What was it like the first moment you saw your baby? Tell me all about it. Daddies, give me your perspective on the whole birth experience. How was it for you?

Since you are probably wondering...

No baby yet. I go back to the doc today and will see where I am at. I still feel great mostly and still would like to wait until my Mom gets here next Wednesday, but whenever this baby is ready, we are. The new moon is this weekend, so hopefully we can make it through that until next week. My mom arrives on Wednesday. Which is a really busy day. I'm not sure what time she comes in, but the Rose Bowl is that day, Hook Em! and I hope to be watching some of that.

In other news...
Christmas was wonderful. We stayed at our house and my MIL and Grandmother in law came and stayed with us for 3 days over the holiday. We did Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and my Dad and Stepmom came up for dinner. It was nice having everyone at our house together celebrating the holiday. My Dad and Stepmom are Jewish, but they came up anyways because I wanted the family dinner all together. My brother went home with his girlfriend for Christmas, so we weren't going to do Hannukah on Sunday even, so it was nice to have as much family together as we had.

We just relaxed and had fun. I didn't have to lift a finger. My MIL and grandmother did all the cooking, cleaning and even some laundry.

Now I am just wrapping things up at work and waiting and waiting and waiting. Every pain or discomfort I get, I go, "Is this it?". I'm ready for the next step in the journey to motherhood. Bring it on.

Peace, Joy and Love to All

Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah. May you be with family and friends and be surrounded in love. May you be safe and happy and healthy this season. May all your wishes come true or at least one good gift be given and received.

God Bless!

And she keeps on talking...

The light and fluffy first:

Doctor update.: 1 cm, 70% effaced, baby happy inside Mommy. Mommy happy about baby happy inside!

Regarding my post below. It was a moment in which I had something to say and I said it and I meant it. Well, now I have more to say. As many of you know, I am half Jewish and half Christian. The half that is Jewish is larger if I may say so in terms of my faith and belief, but the Christian half exists and is growing due to being married to a devout Christian. With that said, I don't want to cause any controversy and I completely respect the holiday that is Christmas. The majority of this country is Christian. Majority wins in general. I think it is a little late for the marketers and media who made Christmas into such a "Hallmark" holiday and the such are now trying to reverse that direction and try and take the real meaning out of it. Christmas is a national holiday. Has been for years. It has always been Christmas Vacation and find me a calendar anywhere that says "Holiday" on December 25th instead of Christmas, and well you can color me red and green and put me on the corner to sing. (???) Get over it.

Now being Jewish and at one time not being married to a devout Christian, I have always had a problem with the assumption by the general public that all people believe exactly as they do. I don't have a problem with people saying Merry Christmas at all. Never have. But for people to assume that one has the same religious beliefs as you is something that bothers me. I know that these two feelings conflict with each other. I really love the Christmas season, which also happens to be the Hannukah season, (Hannukah starts on Christmas day this year) but Jews don't go around assuming everyone else is celebrating Hannukah and wishing everyone a Happy Hannukah. No, Jews tend to reserve saying Happy Hannukah to people unless they know they are in fact Jewish and in fact celebrating that holiday. Again, the majority of this country is Christian and therefore, it might be a good assumption that the person next to you is in fact Christian and does in fact share your religious beliefs, but again, we are assuming something.

I liken it to someone walking around all day on their birthday wishing other people a happy birthday. Now I may be celebrating my birthday, but that doesn't mean you are celebrating yours. Probably quite a stretch I'm making there, but I think you get my drift.

So again, I do not have a problem with Christmas. I love Christmas. I celebrate Christmas. I also celebrate Hannukah. I respect that this country was founded on Christian (Judeo-Christian if I may) values and again, because the majority of this country is Christian, well majority tends to rule in most situations, so why should this be any different. For this reason, I personally choose to say Happy Holidays unless you have first told me Merry Christmas and then I will say it right back to you and mean every syllable.

So with all that silliness, I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, a Happy Kwanza or whatever this season means to you. I will not project my merriment of my holiday(s) on you if you do not want to be projectiled upon.

I'm just sayin'

Not to jump into the controversy fully, but if it looks like a Christmas tree, has twinkly or not twinkly white or colored lights, dependent on your choice. If it has ornaments and stars and presents under it - it's a Christmas Tree. Calling it a Holiday Tree is just stupid. If you believe in Christmas you call it a Christmas Tree. If you don't believe in Christmas, then you don't really call it anything. And if you are truly offended by a tree with round balls all over it? You have bigger problems to deal with.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Regardless of whether you believe in ducks or not.

I'm done... for now.

out.... of.... breath

Is it just me or is it wrong to have to rest after putting on your socks and shoes? Hmm?

Just around the corner

Well, the end is drawing near. Or so they tell me. 37 weeks and counting. I am 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced and go back to the doctor tomorrow. I am very conflicted about this whole birth thing right now. You see, I really want this baby to wait until about January 5th to arrive. This is for a variety of reasons. One of which is that my Mother comes on the 4th. The main reason though is that I do not want my child to have to share his/her birthday with the holidays. My birthday is in December and too often it gets forgotten or glossed over or wrapped into the Christmas/Hannukah celebrations. People are traveling or are sick or are just plain wrapped up in their own holidays at this time of year, which is over course understandable. But I want to be able to have a birthday party for my child and have his/her friends be in town and able to attend. I don't want my child's birthday getting lost in the shuffle.

On the other hand, I cannot wait to meet this little one. I am dying to know if he/she is a he or a she and to start calling him/her by their rightful name. I'm not totally miserable yet, so I am not at the point where I am moaning, "get this baby out of me," but I am at the point where I want to go to the next step. I want to hold my baby and step through to the mommy side of life. I don't know that I am fully prepared for what comes next, but are we ever fully prepared for anything in life? I mean really, with so many unknowns and curve balls in this life, how can we ever truly be prepared? But I'm ready and willing and waiting for the time when the little one decides to make his/her appearance. Whenever that may be, Mommy is as ready as she can ever be.

Christmas Spirit Meme

Stolen from Cori. See, I can get into the Christmas Spirit!

1) What is your favorite Christmas scent? Pine Needles

2) What do you think is the most enjoyable thing to do in the snow? Sled

3) If you were a photographer who was given the chance to go back in history to capture a Christmas photograph, where would you go and what would it be? Hmmm... Maybe the first one ever.

4) Regardless of monetary value, what is the single most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received? I think this year's gift of my baby will be the most meaningful gift ever.

5) If, like Santa, you could take a night flight in a sleigh over any city in the world, which city would you choose? Taos, NM, because that is where my Mom, Sister and Nephews are.

6) What ingredients go into your favorite Christmas drink or beverage? Hot chocolate with a dash of peppermint schnapps (I agree with Cori)

7) Do you prefer blinking or non-blinking Christmas lights? All of the above.

8) Out of all the musical instruments, which one do you think is the most appropriate for the Christmas season? Bells

9) At Christmas time, which do you honestly enjoy more, giving or receiving? Giving

10) Do you have any ethnic or ancestral traditions that you honor during the Christmas season? Well, for Chanukah, we light the Menorah every year. For Christmas we don't really have any ancestral or ethnic traditions

11) Everyone in the office has been asked to place an ornament on the company Christmas tree that best represents him/herself. What would your ornament look like? An elephant. I collect them and so people associate them with me usually. And right now, I am as big as an elephant.

12) If you could spend Christmas in any European country, which one would it be? any one would do for me.

13) If snow could fall in any flavor, what flavor would you choose? A crisp vanilla, (again Cori's answer)

14) What is the longest line you can remember waiting in during the Christmas season? Right now they are all long. I'm a last minute shopper so I get stuck.

15) If you could indulge in only one type of cookie this holiday season, which cookie would you be eating a lot of? Just one, and if you could. Gimme cookies!

16) What gift have you wanted for years but still haven't received? Not sure. I have wanted a shower radio forever, but my parents gave me one this week for my birthday, so that's done.

17) What aspect of preparing for Christmas do you like the most? Decorating the tree and finding all of my favorite ornaments that my Mom has. Only at her house does this work. I love decorating the tree though.

18) What is your favorite Christmas decoration in your home (your tree doesn't count!). I have a cute little snowman with a carrot nose that I love.

19) If you had a great voice and could record a Christmas duet with any famous singer, whom would you choose as your singing partner? hahahahahaha, IF I had a great voice, hahahahaha

20) If you could take a scenic drive anywhere in America this holiday season, where would you most want to drive? Again, Taos, NM to see my nephews at Christmas.

21) What is the biggest change in your life since last Christmas? I'm about to have a baby. I'd say that's a pretty big change. I also in the last two months, started working from home and got a new car. Lots of change.

Cankles, Sausages, Belly and New Car Goodness All Rolled into one

Behold... the cankles and the sausage toes. I believe I am retaining all the water used to shoot The Perfect Storm. Agh. Note the nice little indentions where my fuzzy socks were.

And the belly. My shirt says Special Delivery. I love this shirt. 24 days left til due date!

And of course, my favorite picture of the day, my beautimous new car! I never thought I would drive something this nice, ever in my lifetime. Wowee Kazowee!

And so, my outlook on life is a little better than it was at 4:00 this morning when I wrote that depressing, ba humbug post below.

We are going to get our tree tonight and dammit I will enjoy it all! Ho, Ho, Ho!

Lazy/Ba Humbug Fa la la la la

This time of year always seems to get me in a funk. I don't know why and I try desparately to not let it happen. The holidays always seem to sneak up on me somehow. I say "holidays" because I in fact celebrate Hannukah and Christmas, so to me they are "holidays" as in multiples rather than an avoidance of the true nature of what Christmas is all about. (I'm tired of the atheists being offended by a God they don't believe in, but that is for another post.)

As a child Hannukah was always a time filled with fun and laughter and family. We had big family gatherings at my grandparents house and all eight days of Hannukah we were given gifts. As a kid, this of course is the best thing ever. My brother and I were fairly spoiled with gifts we had asked for and gifts we didn't even imagine to ask for, but that we loved. But, alas, I also got Christmas. Now the other side of my family, the side that celebrates Christmas, wasn't quite as high up on the economic scale and therefore the gifts were usually of a different level. But, Christmas was not without joy. Depending on which parent I was travelling to see of course.

Perhaps that is the core of my unhappiness at this time of year. From the time I was four, I have been flying back and forth between Texas and NM and sometimes Mexico or some other random place my Mother decided to move her nomadic self to, but generally it was New Mexico or Old Mexico. Never were the holidays a nice relaxing fun time. Invariably, my Mother would always search for the cheapest flights which of course meant leaving at un-Godly hours and layovers in airports across Texas. I know the inside of every airport between Houston and Albuquerque as well as the Cancun airport and the Belize Airport. Sometimes layovers would be hours long and other times, I would have to rush from gate 1 to gate 15438 at DFW in less than 15 minutes. As a 13 year old alone, dragging your luggage while crying through the airport on New Year's day (because of course that was the cheapest flight) is not a good childhood memory. I digress.

Christmas on that side of the world was usually filled with decorating the tree all together and remembering all our favorite ornaments as we pulled them out of their protective paper. In the good years, my sister and I would both be with my Mother and actually get to share in the holiday cheer. My gifts that I remember most usually consisted of books and practical things. My grandmother gave us each a book that looked like it had lived 1000 years, a slip of some sort and a variety of shampoos and lotions from hotels that she had visited. Our stockings always contained a piece of fruit. And for some reason, from the time we started wearing it, every year, I would get my sister make-up. This thought dawned on me the other day right before her visit. I don't know why I always bought her makeup. I would buy those big packs with all kinds of stuff in them. Perhaps I was remembering times when I wasn't beating her up and was actually doing sister things like doing her makeup and her hair. Perhaps, I wanted her to remember those times rather than the ones when I locked her in a room from the outside. Who knows, but I hope she never thought that I bought her all that crap because I thought she needed it. She doesn't. She is so beautiful and always has been.

I digress again. Now, for some reason this time of year is always so trying on me. Starting Thanksgiving weekend we have our wedding anniversary, my step-mother's birthday, and of course Thanksgiving. A couple of weeks later, we have my birthday, then my sister's birthday on the 21st and then of course Christmas. Normally Hannukah is thrown somewhere in the middle of December, but for added fun this year, it starts on Christmas Day. So needless to say, the holidays sneak up on me. Christmas/Hannukah are a little more than a week away and I have bought half of the gifts I need to, we have no tree and no real plans for the holiday other than I am trying to get all the family, Christian and Jewish alike to celebrate at our house, like never before, so that the dear pregnant woman does not have to travel across town, twice. Oh yes, did I mention that? I am 9.5 months pregnant. Add that to the mix, and I am a rolling ball of fun. The unknown of it all. When will this baby decide to come?

Every year at this time, we seem to have something big come up that causes hardship on us. Two years ago we got married Thanksgiving weekend. Not really a hardship, but anyone who has ever planned a wedding that included a mixed family, not only divorced, but religiously different as well as 250 guests, knows, that it is not exactly a day at the park. Last year at this time we bought a house and this year, well we are being forced to buy a car, which Insurance God's willing, will happen today. Throw into this mix, the setting up of a home office, with all the troubles that go along with it, hubby being gone on a three day business trip and the nursery, or rather the room with all the baby crap in it, has yet to be finished. And although I appreciate all the kindness my family has shown by doing things to make the nursery perfect, they are not done and I cannot control them and alas, it is driving me crazy, because WHAT IF THIS BABY COMES TOMORROW! Add in some other family drama or trauma, your choice and I just don't have it in me to be all holiday cheerful.

As an adult, and a now married, soon to be parent, I have always wanted the holidays to be a wonderful time, where we are happy and merry and the tree is up right after Thanksgiving and all is well. Where I buy the perfect gift for everyone, including those in my family who are impossible to shop for because they don't want anything, but they do, but it's only something really expensive and really difficult to buy. I want the big family sitting around the tree on Christmas morning, opening all of their perfect presents and the smell of pancakes in the background. I want the perfect little picture, but alas, I cannot build it. I'm too tired.

Last year when we went to pick out our tree, hubby and I got into a fight about which charity's we should donate to instead of buying each other gifts. We were fighting over charity! I won't go into the details... I had tears in my eyes as we picked out our tree. This year, we still have no tree and although we hope to go get it tonight, the idea of doing so after a day of buying a car, trying to finish shopping for gifts (whilst pulling the money for said gifts out of my ass) and trying to set up the printer/scanner/fax/copier that I finally got after working from home for two and half weeks, which of course didn't come with all the necesarry parts, well...the thought of going to buy a Christmas tree after all that, just makes me tired. And then the jaded part of me says, why bother? It will only be up for a two weeks at the most, or invariably, it will be up forever because this baby will decide to come smack in the middle of my holiday misery. Which of course if that happens, good, bad or indifferent, will of course make everything listed above a mute point and I will be happy to just have a healthy, happy baby.

So needless to say, I'm lacking in the holiday cheer department. I'm also writing this wonderful post at 4:30 in the morning and have to get up and be productive tomorrow, but hey, that's what I do these days. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and any other holiday you may celebrate. May you be having a wonderful, happy, funfilled time!

Unattended Children

What a Wonderful Day!

After all my complaining, okay, minimal complaining about having to go into the office yesterday and despite my being up half the night, I had a pretty good day yesterday. My phone rang at 8:30 am and it was my Mom.

Mom: Guess What?
Me: What?
Mom: I'm coming to see you!
Me: What? When?
Mom: Saturday!
Me: (a little shell shocked, but okay) This Saturday?
Mom: Yes, and I'm bring your sister!
Me: What!!!?
Mom: Yep! And the boys!

My Mom, Sister and Twin Nephews will be here tomorrow and I'm so excited I can't stand it. I haven't seen the boys since they were a week and a half old or my sister since then. Mom I saw in September, but I'm glad to see her again before the baby comes. She will be back in less than a month when the baby is born, but she found a great round trip deal on airfare that should couldn't pass up. So I am going to have a great weekend!!!!!

I also went to the doctor yesterday and the little one is cooperating and is appropriately standing on his/her head. Last time he was mooning my crotch. I am happy that there will be no more laying upside down at a 45 degree angle to get the baby to turn. I only did it once, but it was a challenge getting into that position and it isn't very comfortable. I am also 1cm dilated, which for most of you, you know that means absolutely nothing. But I am just glad that he/she is head down. Also points to my doctor for not laughing her ass off when I handed her my four page birth plan. Technically, it is three pages and 5 lines...

It's Friday and I have been up since 5:00 AM. Yuck. I am ready to go back to bed now.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Mama no likey

Mama no likey the look of blogger at 3:00 AM. My first foray into middle of the night blogging is not all it's cracked up to be. You see, I actually have to get up and go into the office tomorrow. This entails taking a shower and putting on make up and clothes that make me look like a professional, not just rolling out of bed, getting dressed and walking into my office. In addition, we're supposed to have highs in the 30's. Highs, people. This is TX. And it's rainy and gross. So bonus points for me for having to go into the office on quite possibly the nastiest day of the year (winter-wise). Yippee for life's littlest challenges.

On another note, I get my car in a week (I hope!)!!!!

Where Do I Belong? (Don't answer that!)

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Sweet Nephewy Goodness

I can't believe they are almost a year old!

Obsessive Planner

I consider myself a pretty laid back person. I like to plan though at least a little bit. I like to know what is coming up at least in the next couple of days or so. I don't particularly like getting caught off guard. I plan, I check the details and then I check them again. I was a planning crazy person for our wedding and I've gotten the bug again.

I know that I will really have no control over how this baby is born. It is up to the baby and Mother Nature really. But I have my ideas of what I want. So I did a birth plan. They say to do one these days if for no other reason than to show the hospital staff that you are educated about your options. I plan to share my birth plan with my doctor for sure and then have copies for the nurses at the hospital. But I may have gone a little overboard. The birth plan is 4 pages long. I might have to do a Cliff Notes version for the nurses. Too much?

Crib Help!

I am having a very difficult time getting a crib. I first registered for a crib at Babies R Us and then it was no longer in stock. So I picked another one from JC Penneys. They had it, but they don't keep cribs in the store and regardless of whether we had it shipped home or to the store, they wanted $130 just for shipping! So now I am on a search for a crib I like. I can find a crib I like, but it won't have all the things I want. I want (I think) at least one drop side. I want (I think) multiple mattress positions and I want a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then to a day bed/full size bed. Now, having never bought or used a crib, I may just think I want these things. So my questions goes out to you dear internet Mommies and Daddies.

What do I really need in a crib? Your suggestions and advice are much appreciated.

Update on Craziness

I am here, but absent. Mainly just busy, so here is a quick recap:

• I have NOT had the baby yet. 6 weeks to go.
• Starting on Thursday I will be working from a home office. Great news. Bad news is I have to completely clean out my current office. By tomorrow. Yikes!
• I still have no car, but will be getting one on December 15th. I can't believe the deal we found and I am getting more car than I ever dreamed of. I'm getting one of these.

• It's a 1999, but it is fully loaded and my hubby says it is heaven. I haven't seen it or driven it, but I cannot wait to get it!!!!!
• Work is crazy busy as I try and finalize all my plans for next year before this baby decides it is time to pop out.
• Still trying to get the baby's room done.
• Trying to get a home office put together.
• Today is my two year wedding anniversary. We both temporarily forgot.
• Today is my step mother's b-day.
• Christmas is coming... (sound effect of Jaws music)
• Hanukkah is coming... (sound effect of Jaws music)
• Did I mention we celebrate both?
• Did I mention they are on the same day this year?
• My birthday is coming up. Not biggie, not on the radar, hubby will be out of town.
• My sister's b-day is coming up.
• I'm broke.
• We only have 2 packages of newborn diapers. Think I need some more? ;-)
• Baby bag is packed. My hospital bag is packed. Car seat is in the car, not installed, but at least it is in the car.
• Did I mention we only have one car right now.

Well that about covers it. What's new with you?

Speedracer has bit the dust

My poor old car has finally had it. It started overheating on Sunday so we took it in yesterday after it started overheating again on my way to work. The short story, it will cost more to fix the car than the car is worth. So, the good news: I get a new car. The bad news: we can't afford one. The bad news also means that instead of waiting until next year and maybe getting what I wanted, we will just have to get me what we can afford. Bummer.

You would think I would be happy about getting a new car. Somewhere deep inside me I am, but part of me is not. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but I will miss that car. It was the first new (used for 1 year) car that I ever had. It would be 10 years old next year. It got me through the end of college and the beginning of my new life in Houston. It made many a trip from Austin to Houston as I commuted back and forth on the weekends between school and boyfriend. I am truly mourning the loss of my car. How silly is that. There are so many things wrong with that car, yet I like my car.

I have spent 5 years locking and unlocking the car from the passenger side because the lock in the driver's door fell out. Until my husbnad put in a CD player and windshielf antennae two year ago, radio was a commodity that I sometimes got and sometimes didn't. Otherwise I used the tape deck or a portable CD player hooked into the lighter. The lighter is just a hole because I lost the lighter part long ago. There are wounds in the car from my smoking days where I didn't quite make it out the window or accidentally rammed my lit cigarette into the ceiling or dropped it in my lap. The hubcap that fell off 7 years ago that I never got fixed is still in the trunk. The ceiling sports some mean water stains due to the sun roof leaking. It was a horrible trip to Dallas in a major storm that was the first time I realized the sun roof leaked. Conveniently, it happened right after my warranty expired. I drove from Austin to Dallas with a drip on my head and a puddle in my passenger seat.

I had my first wreck in that car. It was two days after my first ever speeding ticket. I was 21 years old. Me and my room mate were leaving 6th street and it was drizzling. I was going very slow, but didn't quite stop in time for the red light. I hydroplaned into the Buick in front of me. Not a scratch on the Buick. My car is plexiglass in the front so it was torn up pretty bad. I was hysterical. My newish car, my first wreck. I was sure the car was totalled. It was the end of the world. Yet, I made it through. $2000 worth of damage and a month later, I had my car back in one piece.

I had my second wreck in that car. This one was worse. I pulled out of a blind intersection and was hit by a lady going about 35 miles an hour. Neither of us was too hurt. I had some bruises and hit my head, but my car was not so good. Neither car was driveable. I was even more of a basketcase this time because I had a warrant for an unpaid speeding ticket. Nothing too exciting, just never paid the ticket because I was a) lazy and b) broke and my money went to drinking and school instead of important things like staying out of jail. The police were nice enough to let me go since I was a crying, hysterical ball of estrogen. This time it was more money and more time and the place that fixed it, didn't so much fix it as jam it all back together and call it fixed. It never ran the same.

Goodbye old friend. I will miss you terribly. You have been good to me, even when you didn't want to run and I pushed you anyway. Goodbye.

Times, They Are A-Changin'

What a week of change. I

did finally do something in the baby's room. It's not much but it is a start.

Today I chopped my hair off, about 3.5 inches and I love it!

I got a flu shot today. I don't normally get flu shots, but my doctor suggested I do it just in case, being preggo and all.

I have another shower tomorrow and I'm excited about that. I will get to see my group of girl friends that I really haven't seen much of lately and I miss them.

And then... I have big news. It has to do with work and you know how we shouldn't talk about work, lest we get dooced, but I will tell you that the news involves a moving of offices and less of a drive.

I'm feeling bigger than ever and am definitely in full pregnant glory. Sore hips, slight swelling, waddle and all. So, I've got that going for me.

My dear, sweet hubby drove all the way into H Town today and picked me up a recliner. I have not been so excited to own a recliner in my life. Heck, I never thought I would even own a recliner. But do you know what a recliner means, people? It means I might actually get to sleep in the next 2 months. Yippee for sleep!

All in all, Life... it is good.

Breakin' into the Rap World

I may try to keep this here blog pretty clean, but in real life, I have quite the potty mouth. Some how typing cuss words makes me think twice about "saying" them "out loud". But stick me in a car in everyday traffic and I let it fly. I have even had a baseball player tell me to watch my mouth. That was in my college days where not only did I cuss like a sailor, but I was the Captain Cusser. Now I try to curb it a little more, and there are certain terms that I just won't use anymore except for if I am dangling off the deep end by one thumb, but I still cuss quite a bit. I'm trying to cut down on that of course so as to not have my baby's first word come out as Sh&% or F#$%. My husband doesn't cuss at all. He might occassionally let one slip when he is really mad, but never around me does he let one fly. My husband is constantly calling me big cusser and telling people he is married to a sailor. Just now my husband told me my rap name is Big Cusser.

"I love it when you call me Big Cusser"

Bitchfest '05

I think I have done pretty well during this pregnancy of not complaining since I haven't had too much to complain about. I know that I am very lucky in this regard. But all of that changed last week and now the time has come for Bitchfest November '05.

Walking: walking used be something that I didn't think much about. I just did it. One foot in front of the other, no problem. Now? This baby is so low that sometimes I get up and I don't know if I can walk "around" the kid. Can you please get out of my hips? Nobody likes a waddler.

Sleep: Ah, sleep, that wonderful thing of the past. I know that my body is probably preparing me for nights to come once the little one is here, but being up for 3 hours in the middle of the night for no reason has got to stop. It is especially fun when I have taken Tylen*l PM, but still wake up a couple of hours later in a nice groggy drugged state thinking about things that make no sense what-so-ever, like aliens and Indians. And then I'm up for three hours, for NO REASON. No reason.

Hiccups: The little one has started getting hiccups. It is cute really and I like to keep my hand there and feel him/her fight through them. But last night? I could feel the hiccups in my butt! I don't know what your idea of a great place to hang out is, oh little one, but Mommy's rear end has enough problems, thank you very much. Also, that nice little placement makes Mommy think she has to go to the bathroom, when she really doesn't. But at least just a little pee comes out, so at least it's not a total waste when I waddle to the bathroom 50 times a day and night.

Swelling: I haven't had to deal with swelling too much, but lately it has increased a little. And Mommy no likey. I like my shoes to fit when I put them on. I miss my wedding ring too! And my feet, well, they look better as a size 6 narrow, so please leave them alone. I will drink more water, I promise.

Baby Room: What baby room? This is the baby's room right now.

I'm almost 32 weeks and starting to freak out! What if this baby comes early? We are soooo not ready. Everyday I say I am going to work on it when I go home. And everyday I go home exhausted and tired and lay on the couch like a big sack of lazy. My goal is to tackle it tonight. At least to start. There I said it. Now that it's out there, maybe I will be held accountable and so maybe that will motivate me to actually tackle this room. Agh.

So, I warned you with the name of this post, if you made it this far, congrats. Here's a belly pic.

Showered in baby

I had my first baby shower on Wednesday evening. My dear friend D was nice enough to be the hostess for my work shower. Even though we don't work together anymore, I can't imagine anyone else throwing me a shower. D threw me my first bridal shower too. I had a cute little cake and got lots for the baby. Goodness did I get some great stuff. I really am blessed with wonderful friends and co-workers.

I still have not cleaned out the baby room, but I really do have to get on that soon or this baby will have all his/her clothes still in bags. Will do as soon as I get some time. No, really I will.

I am finally starting to not feel sick which is nice, but sleep evades me every night and I'm getting a little cranky. I know I have to get used to it, but when I'm up for no reason what so ever and I'm exhausted, I don't like it. Being up with a baby at least has a purpose.

This week has been a crazy week with family and friends and ups and downs and I'm really ready for it to be over. We have a wedding that is about 5 hours away this weekend and although I'm looking forward to seeing family I haven't seen since last year, I am dreading the drive.

Junk in the Trunk

My MIL sent this to me awhile back and it made me laugh. I had to share it. It is from a Nike ad.

MY BUTT IS BIG
and round like the letter C
and ten thousand lunges
have made it rounder
but not smaller
and that's just fine.
It's a space heater
for my side of the bed
It's my ambassador
to those who walk behind me (I love this line in particular)
It's a border collie
that herds skinny women
away from the best deals
at clothing sales.
MY BUTT IS BIG
and that's just fine
and those who might scorn it
are invited to kiss it.
JUST DO IT.

Happy Halloween. I'm back at work and hopefully going to make it through the day. Feeling much better, but still dragging a little bit. Thank you for all the words of encouragement to get better. I am officially 30 weeks pregnant. I can't believe it! 2 months to go. And the baby room? Still nothing. But that is changing this week. I got the bed out of there so that is a start!

Sniff

I have been sick for a week and a half now. Cold has kicked my butt. I guess since the baby get's all the good stuff, my body can't fight off the infection. I'm so tired of being sick and tired. Hope to be back soon.

Baby Talk

I am amazed that I have not talked non-stop about this pregnancy. Strange for me. So I thought I would fill you all in on a little baby talk, because who doesn't like baby talk?

On Sunday I will officially by 7 months. Jazzy Baby moves around a lot these days, but mostly at night and in the morning as is usually the case. I have had a pretty easy 2nd trimester. Some small aches and pains, but in general I have felt great and have enjoyed being pregnant. Even in my first trimester I enjoyed being pregnant despite feeling pukey all the time. I guess I just always wanted to be a Mom so I am just thrilled to have this little life growing inside me.

I have read some pregnancy books, but tend to just read as far as I am along. I really need to start getting to that birth and after part so that I am prepared. Speaking of prepared, I'm not really. I mean, I'm as prepared as you can get to be a Mom, but the baby's room? Does not exist. We moved into our house a year ago this Thanksgiving and the guest room was never really unpacked. Well, guess what room is going to be the baby's room? That's right. I have done nothing in terms of cleaning out that room. I keep putting it off and I keep telling hubbie that I can't clean that one out until he cleans the office, because half of what is in the guest room has to go in the office. My first shower is November 2 and if I don't get that room cleaned out, I don't know what I am going to do with all the stuff I have to bring home!

We are doing a surf/beach theme in the room. As most of you know, we do not know if we are having a boy or a girl and won't be finding out until I give birth. I am not a real girlie girl and my hubbie is a big surfer/beach guy and I love the beach too, so hence the theme. I love the colors since they are not pastel, I hate pastels! If we have a girl, it will be a little masculine, but we will add lots of red, my favorite color, and white to tone down the boyishness. Unfortunatley for us, all of this was their summer stuff so most of it is gone. Some of it can be found on ebay and my step mother and MIL bought a lot of it before it left the stores.

We are going to paint the room yellow with a blue ceiling. One wall is going to have a beach mural painted on it. I am going to put those glow in the dark stars on the ceiling so that it looks like night. I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's done. But I guess that means I really need to get started cleaning it out!

We have some basics, like a stroller and carrier, and some clothes, but that is about it. I am slowly starting to freak out about getting ready for this baby. In the next three months I have exactly two weekends that are not booked with a trip out of town or a shower or a wedding or people visiting. TWO free weekends, people. And money for all the stuff we need! I am going to have to pull it out of my butt! I guess I better get used to it. So, I'm starting the slow slide to panic, but I'm not there yet.

I think I felt the baby have hiccups yesterday morning. Felt kind of like a muscle spasm, but it ws pretty consistent on my left side. I am getting bigger and starting to have a harder time getting comfortable at night. I know it's only going to get worse. I have gained some more weight, but feel like I am doing pretty good. As of my last doc appointment I had gained a total of 14 pounds. I hope to stay on that track and gain a total of 30. I'm surprised at how well I have done considering I was slightly overweight when I got pregnant and I eat ice cream and gummi bears almost every day. Watching the Astros game they were talking about Eckstein who plays for the Cardinals (booooo) and saying that he is 5'7" and weighs 165. I am 5'3" and weigh 164. Maybe I can go play major league baseball? I thought it was pretty funny.

Well, that's the update.

In other baby news, Bekah is going to be an Aunt today. Go tell her congrats!!!!!!!!!

Blog it Forward

No, not the kind we are used to, well kind of. This week, not one, but two of my friends have broken down and started blogging. I am so excited!!!!

Ms. Southern Snob just got married a couple of weeks ago, I got to be the token pregnant bridesmaid! And the title of her blog does not do her justice, because she is so NOT a snob.

And my friend D left me here at work to go work from home lucky dog, but now I can keep up with her on her blog.

Both of them are dear friends of mine and I am so glad they decided to start blogging! Let the blog addiction begin!! Now go say hi!

What to do with a belly for Halloween?

I don't really want to go to a costume party dressed as a pregnant nun. That's so old news and so ordinary. So I'm looking to you dear internet and your breadth of creativity to help me come up with a costume for me and my belly.

Some ideas I have seen are to go as Brittany Spears pregnant and my hubbie to go as Kevin Federline, but I don't think I want to show that much skin and I don't think I can talk hubby into that one. Also, painting the belly. I also thought I could just take a baby outfit and pin it upside down onto a shirt and go as a pregnant Mommy. Boring.

So help! What should I go as? Possible prizes to be awarded for best ideas and the idea that I use. Special bonus points for it being cheap and easy, because, hello, I'm pregnant!

Vacation Pictures

View from Sheraton in Boston

Boston Architecture
Plymouth Rock
Mayflower II
Cheers - The Original
Fog in Booth Bay Harbor, Maine
Lighthouse
Schooner
Doggie Driver
Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I'm back, but swamped.

Just a couple of quick things to update.

Vacation was fabulous! Pictures to come soon!

Baby getting bigger. Glucose test fine despite gallons and gallons of ice cream and tons of gummi bears I eat now.

UT beat the hell outta OU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooo hoooo!

Astros went the distance and beat the Braves!!!!!!!!! Woooooo Hoooooo!

Texans kept to their potential and lost as usual. We've come to expect that.

Work crazy. It took me all day to get through my 400+ emails.

Running out of time to do anything for this baby including getting showered. We have so many weddings and out of town trips in the next three months, we may have to baby shower after the baby is already here!

I'm glad to be home, but I need a vacation from my vacation.

Maine here we come

In all this Rita talk, I had not really had time to get excited about our upcoming vacation. We leave on Saturday for a week up in the great Northeast. We fly into Boston and then on to this place for a week of relaxation and exploration. I am so excited! I have never been to this area of the country and can't wait to see what a real Fall looks like with changing leaves and the like.

I did just look at the weather up there and OMG High of 70ish and lows in the 40's. I'm gonna freeze. Lucky for me I have a built in oven on my belly, but I am still going to freeze. I know those of you that live in those areas are laughing your butts off at me, but today we have a heat index of 115 possible. Right now it is almost 5 and it feels like 104. so dressing for the plane ride from here to Boston should be interesting.

I have nothing to wear in cold weather seeing as none of my normal winter clothes fit over my belly. I guess it's time for a belly shot too. I'll get right on that.

Rita not so Rocky for Houston

Well, I'm back to the grind and things are fairly normal for me, but I am one of the lucky ones. We safely made it to Austin on Thursday evening. It took us about 6.5 hours, which compared to some people's nightmare trips, was nothing. I took us through the back roads of southeast Texas and it worked out well for us. Luckily we live on the northside of Houston so we didn't have to come through all the bad traffic and we didn't have to get on any major freeway until we got to Austin.

It took my MIL 9.5 hours to get from her house to our house which is normally a 1 hour drive. She left her house at 1 in the morning too, but that didn't help. My parents went to Shreveport, we have family there, to ride out the storm. It took them 17 hours to get there (it's normally a 4-5 hour drive). And unlucky for them, Rita passed right over Shreveport at some point. They got a lot of rain, but other than that are okay.

Granted, my experience was a pretty good one so I am probably not a good cross section, but I think the state and local officials did a pretty good job with the evacuation. There really is no good way to evacuate 3 million people. The main problem really is the gas shortage. We still don't have gas at any station near our house, but right now I am okay on gas.

I'm so glad that all of my family and friends made it through this storm safe. My heart goes out to those in East Texas and Western Louisiana who were not so lucky. I'm sorry for their losses.

Thank you to everyone who had good wishes for me and my family. We did come home to find our two pear trees from our front yard laying mostly in the street. We lost one completely it looks like, but the other one may be salvagable. It will look funny without it's twin though. All in all not too bad. The winds were still strong when we got home on Saturday, but other than that we have had hot, humid weather, with heat indexes of 112 possible today. Fun stuff.

Safe and Sound

Yesterday we decided to be better safe than sorry and made our way to Austin. We waited for my mother in law who left her house at 1 AM Thursday morning and got to our house, normally an hour and 15 minute drive, 9.5 hours later. Poor thing. Then we turned around and got in out cars and drove to Austin. I took us a bunch of back roads, some out of the way, but we got to Austin in about 6 hours, which considering what has happened to some people, is really good. And we both had half tanks of gas. We are safe and it looks the like worst of the storm will miss us. I am praying for all those in the direct path of Rita though. If you are still in the path, be safe and God bless.

No Ritas for Me

I guess Rita hasn't heard that I am pregnant and therefore not allowed any of her kind. I guess she doesn't really care.

At this time we are planning on riding the storm out at the house. Work is an unknown for the next two days, but I will for sure not be around on Friday, but tomorrow is questionable. I hope to at least be able to leave early the next two days as the major route home is also one of the major evacuation routes.

So, everyone who might be affected by this storm, be careful, be safe and be smart. God Bless.

Pooper slots

My husband just called me pooper slots. And that is normal believe it or not. No wonder I ended up with the name Shooter.

Babbling Post

I've been crazy busy and hence the no posting lately. So here is what has been going on lately in a nutshell.

Work is nuts; moved my office across the building from the rest of my department because we ran out of room and I'm the only one that is moveable. And I'm so busy that I haven't had time to unpack a thing except what was on my desk when I moved.

We leave in two weeks for a week vacation to Maine (yippee). Leave on the day of a major event in which I have to have all of my holiday events planned and printed.

In wedding this past weekend. It was beautiful and the bride was gorgeous. I'm exhausted. I can't hang like I used to. Got to dance which I haven't done since before I got pregnant. There is something just wrong about a 6 month pregnant woman rolling to Usher. But I had a blast.

Have another wedding next weekend. Have 3 more between then and the end of the year. Fun stuff really.

Oh and we are in the middle of planning for next year at work on top of everything else.

We have done absolutely zero on the baby's room. In fact, I haven't even cleared out the room from when we moved in last Thanksgiving.

So, needless to say, Momma is exhausted and busy and blogging has unfortunately taken a back seat. I miss it though and hope to be back soon.

Oh and hubby bought us a computer. Not sure when we get it or when we will get internet, but OMG I am excited!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Question Day

How do you make a connection?

A Tree For Ethan

I keep meaning to post this link and I keep forgetting. T & R have decided to plant trees in honor of little Ethan. They will plant one in their backyard and one at the cemetery. If you would like to donate, go to www.atreeforethan.com.

A Brand New Day

A brand new day

This past week has been a trying week. This post is going to be a combination of things and at times will probably not make much sense, but I have to get out some of what is on my mind. This is not a happy post and deals with the loss of a child, so if you are pregnant, you may not want to read any further.

First let me say that the tragedy in the gulf coast has not been forgotten by me and I am doing what I can to help the efforts here in Houston to make the lives of those poor people a little bit better, but last week another tragedy affected me far more deeply.

Last Wednesday I received a phone call from a friend with horrible news. My friend T and her husband R lost their baby at 37 weeks. Almost full term. It was the last thing I was expecting to hear. T had gone in for a routine doctor's appointment to find out that little Ethan no longer had a heartbeat. Tami spent Wednesday and half of Thursday in labor and about 12:30 PM on Thursday delivered Ethan at a little over 5 lbs. It looks like Ethan just ran out of room and put too much pressure on his umbilical cord so that it stopped supplying him with what he needed. Saturday they had the funeral for Ethan and it was the most difficult thing I think I have ever done. Burying anyone close to you is never easy, but burying a child is something that no one should ever have to do. The service was beautiful and Ethans parents held up amazingly well. I did not hold up so well. I cannot begin to fathom the pain they are experiencing. My heart breaks when I see the pain they are going through and I wish that I could somehow take some of that pain away. Please keep T and R in your prayers as well as their families in this trying time. T and R have a strong faith and I am so thankful that they have God to bring them through this. It will take time to heal, but I have no doubt in my mind that they will come through this and they will do wonderful things because of this experience. It's hard to see God's lessons right now, but I can only hope that good will come out of this tragedy in some form or fashion. Rest in peace Ethan MH.

This tragedy has been very difficult for me to deal with. The death of a child to me is more tragic than most due to the fact that they haven't gotten to lead full lives. In Ethans' case, he didn't even make it out into the world. Yet he was so very loved and his short life had such an impact on so many people. Our tight group of friends has come together during this time of sorrow in a way that makes me proud to call myself a part of that group. Having someone so close to you deal with a pain so unimaginable reminds us all of our fragility and vulnerability. I remember going to bed on Wednesday night and thinking to myself how exposed I felt. Being pregnant, I cannot help but be scared for myself and my baby. Not only have my friends been rallying for T and R, but they are worried about me and as much as this event is so not about it, it makes me feel a little less exposed that so many people care. Even T herself asked me how I was feeling. How she could even think about me at a time like that, I don't know. I know that I have to stay positive and that the odds of this tragedy happening to me are low, but again I'm reminded of how fragile we are.

Many would think with an event like this, that I would be questioning my faith. It has in fact done the opposite. I have prayed so much in the last few days. In fact that is all I seem to be able to do. Until recently, faith to me has been something that others had, but not me. For some background, I was 12 years old before I had any real religious upbringing. From age 12 through 18, I was raised Jewish. I went to Hebrew school every week. I was Bat Mitzvah'd, I was confirmed and I graduated from Hebrew school. but in all those years I learned little about Faith and God was not a strong pressence in my life. (Or so I thought) At times in high school I proclaimed to be atheist or agnostic. In college I was agnostic. In the last couple years I have found faith. I tend to relate to Judaism in the "organized religion" sense, but I don't attend synagogue and due to my husband's strong faith in Christianity, I have adopted some of the principles of Christianity. With the exception of Jesus as the Son of God. I am still aligned with Judaism on this major point. I am not by any means trying to get into an argument with anyone, so please do not take that last statement as a war cry. I am merely trying to find my way, to fine my faith. I had recently decided that I would really try and give my husband's church a try. It is very important for me to show a unified front and to teach my children faith. Just because I don't have an alignment with any organized religion does not mean I do not have a relationship with God. I have a very strong relationship with God. I pray a lot, but I also know that I need to do more and be more, but I'm not sure what that is yet. I want my children to know God and to have faith in their lives. I think back to the time in my life when I didn't have faith and can tell a major difference in my happiness and the ease in which I lived my life. I am a prime example of the power of faith and I will never forget that. I needed to feel close to God this week, so I went to church with hubby on Sunday. I really don't like his church, but wanted to give it a try because he has become very involved in this church and likes it very much. I have found that I like the preaching style of Joel Osteen. He preaches in a way that is not offensive and that doesn't turn off non-Christians. I realize one of the major commitments of being a Christian is to convert others to Christianity, but that is all I feel I get from the church hubby goes to. In my mind church should be a comforting, uplifting, learning experience. The preacher at hubby's church is constantly preaching about how we are all sinners and nothing is ever good enough and opens every service with an announcement and hand out to all visitors and a call to action to become a believer. This type of talk has always turned me off. I have a lot of very good friends who have a strong faith in Christianity and I admire their faith. I can have wonderful religious conversations with these friends and never do I feel abused or lesser of a person because I do not have the same faith as them. I know that really if I don't believe in the main premise of Christianity, that I won't in theory be able to get the most out of church, but I will watch Joel Osteen preach and feel as though I am learning something and feel uplifted and want to be better because of his sermon, not feel like lesser of a person. My point in all this is where do I go from here, (hypothetical question here). I am thinking of going to a local synagogue to see how I feel about that. I am lost and still trying to find my way, but I have to find something that not only works for me, but that will work for my family. I cannot ask my hubby to compromise his beliefs, yet I have to find something that will work for both of us as we build our family.

As you can see, the tragedy of the past week has really done a number on me and I am working through a lot of things. I am talking to the baby a lot and he/she is kicking me a lot, which I take as a good sign. I treasured every movement before, but now I will for sure not take any of this pregnancy for granted.

May today find you happy, healthy and thankful for all that you have. I know that I am. God Bless.

A Lesson in Driving

It seems that some of the public has forgotten those long ago, or not so long ago, lessons in driver's education. I am taking it upon myself to re-educate, ahem, the general public on lessons in driving.

I. The Benefits of Blinkers
II. How To Merge
III. Reading Speed Limit Signs
IV. Proper Turning Etiquette/Proper Blinker Usage

(Do you sense a pattern here?)

I. The Benefits of Blinkers
Using blinkers while driving is the only reasonable way to communicate your direction changes. I am not a mind reader although I play one on TV. I can sometimes guess what you are trying to do by your head movements, but it would really make life so much easier if you would just flip that little switch and give me some direction. Then I can stay the hell away from your backside and resist the urge to introduce my radiator to your bumper.

II. How To Merge
Merging is definitely at the high end of the difficulty spectrum when it comes to driving. The majority of the time the highway department has had the foresight to give you some visual clues that merging is up ahead. Occasionally the highway department will over estimate one's skills to merge and put signage a little too close to the actual merge location. In the instance when you have plenty of notice (this does require you to have your eyes open while driving and that you be paying attention to said directional signage), turn your blinker on in the appropriate direction, check all of your mirrors, not just the one closest to you, and adjust your speed accordingly so that those around you do not need to rearrange their speed to accommodate you. This does not mean speeding up and slowing down in a manner that does not allow for one you are merging with to predict your actions. Merging should be done in a smooth manner and should not make the cars around you have to swerve or slam on their brakes.

When merging onto a freeway, there is not instance in which you should come to a complete stop. Most likely the speed limit on the highway is at least 55, in which case getting up to said speed from a complete stop will definitely affect drivers around you. Again speed up or slow down when merging onto the freeway in a manner that does not rearrange the lives of those around you.

III. Reading Speed Limit Signs
Once again, the highway department, with many motives, has provided you with signs that will help you in your drive. Speed limit signs can vary, but tend to be white with black letters. While driving on any road, you should always be on the look out for speed limit signs. This will not only keep you from getting a ticket, but will keep you from annoying those around you. If there is just one sign, then please go at least that number and 5 over would be even better. If there is a sign that lists a minimum and maximum speed limit, the maximum is preferred and again, 5 over this number is ideal. If there is more than one lane and you are obviously going slower than those around you, the right lane is the appropriate lane to be in. YOU ARE NOT THE LAW. If the person behind you wants to go faster and you can get it another lane, DO. IT. Save us all some sanity. You were not placed on this earth to make me go the speed limit. Get out of my way.

IV. Proper Turning Etiquette/Proper Blinker Usage
Here we will revisit bullet number I. where we learned the benefits of blinkers. When and where to use your blinker can be confusing, but I will give you some pointers to make it more clear. When turning in either direction or changing lanes in either direction, turning your blinker on at least 30 seconds or 100 feet before your turning/changing lane location is ideal. Turning your blinker on as you turn does you and me no good. You might as well not waste the energy, yours or mine. You do NOT have to come to a complete stop in order to turn or change lanes. Slamming on your brakes at the last second to turn is not recommended and doing any of the above without using your blinker is at no time acceptable driving etiquette.

There are a lot of ways to turn on your blinker. My personal preference is to keep my left hand on the steering wheel and just drop a couple of fingers down to flick the blinker switch up or down. That's the lazy method. You can pull your entire hand off the steering wheel and push down or up the blinker switch as well. I do not recommend this method if you are the type of person that needs to have your hands on the wheel at all times to remember that in fact you are the one driving the vehicle. Then you have your forceful blinker changers. That means taking your hand off the wheel and actually swatting at the blinker.

Once you have used your blinker and made the appropriate lane change/turn, it is necessary sometimes to turn off your blinker. If you leave your blinker on indefinitely, it forces me to have to think and we all know how much I love to do that. Leaving your blinker on for over 15 minutes should be cause for ticketing because you have most likely adversely affected over 50 drivers by this action unless of course it is 3:00 AM and no one else is around. Again, I cannot read your mind, so seeing a blinker, makes me believe that you do in fact want to change lanes or turn. This is especially annoying/important when you happen to be driving, say a dump truck or 18 wheeler. I am no idiot and know that you are bigger and therefore that you win the merge race. I am therefore forced to yield to your huge monstrosity of a vehicle so when you drive with your blinker on indefinitely it forces me into a very uncomfortable holding pattern.

Other good driving tips.
-Watch the road. This should be obvious, but some of you seem to need a reminder.
-Pay attention to those around you. You are not the only one on the road, nor do you own it.
-Crawling up my ass with your big wheel is not going to get me to go faster, but it will piss me off.
-Proper acceleration is a must. That big wheel you got I know comes with a V8 engine so there is not reason to get off the starting block at the light going 5 miles an hour for the length of a mile. Floor that sucker.
-Get an ear piece for that cell phone and use it. If you can't drive on the road and talk on the phone, got off one of them.
-While sitting in traffic, please try and remember that you are not the only one who would like to get home today.
-The shoulders of the road are not roadways and are not meant to be driven on at mach speed.
-Just because you have a truck or 4x4 doesn't mean the median is a roadway either.

Thank you for your kind attention. This has been a message from your friendly neighborhood driving maven.

Random Question Day

What are you waiting for?

Gummi gummi

Mama needs gummi bears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wanna read my back

With all the preggo acne I am being blessed with, Hubby decided the other night that, "your back says 'I love you' in Braille." I shot back with, "More like the first 5 books of the Bible."

Behold the Belly

All those little dots you see on my shoulder. Preggo Acne. Fun!

Give it to me... One more time

I read a lot of blogs. At least I try to, not as many as I would like though. I just can't seem to get around to my entire blogroll very often. I have seen a lot of posts about unsolicited advice and such. I can be a giver of unsolicited advice. I can't help it. I'm that way in real life too and don't always know when to just shut my trap and listen, not solve. But I love people and I hate seeing anyone in pain or hurt or even inconvenienced really and so I try to help. It's what I do. I am a helper.

I would like to think that most bloggers, except for that group of bloggers that likes to just leave nasty comments or doesn't think at all when the comment, most bloggers I think are genuinely good people and are just trying to help. Bloggers as a whole are also a very self-promoting group, isn't that partially why we blog? So I suppose, if I know something that might help you solve a problem or situation in your life, I would want to tell you about it, because hey, not only do I help you, but I look like I know something other than just how to type words on a page.

I read a lot of blogs that deal with family, Mommy/Daddy Blogs if you must put a label on them. Probably 99% of my blogroll are family life blogs. Even before I got pregnant, I read family blogs. I like family. I like kids. I always saw myself with kids and I personally am intrigued by families and how they interact and how especially parents raise their kids. In general I have a very jaded idea of kids these days. Mostly on the day to day dealings with them in stores and in public and of course what you see in the news. I know that this is not a good cross-segment of what is out there, but I still find myself making judgements about "kids these days." Well, since I started blogging, and reading family blogs, this view is at least balanced out. I am pretty sure that anyone who treated their children badly wouldn't post it on the internet for all to read, but in reading family blogs, I have found that the majority of bloggers have something to teach me about raising children. I admire the parenting skills I see on the blogs I read. I take notes and hope to remember some of the wonderful things I have learned for when I have children. Perhaps this leans more towards the level of people that can afford computers and interent access and that those facts directly correlate to their parenting skills. I don't know.

Boy have I gotten off track.

This post was really going to be all about you, my readers, giving me advice. I'm asking for it... so give it to me. Specifically, I would like your parenting advice. What is the best piece of advice when it comes to parenting you have received? Pass it on. If you feel need to give me other pieces of advice, bring it on. I like to think that I am a pretty self analytical person and that I take constructive criticism to heart. If you aren't honest with yourself, then your life really isn't worth living. I try to live by that. So if my writing sucks, tell me. If I say stupid things, tell me. Please remember though that you can never truly know a person by their blog. Don't judge the blogger by the blog skin.

Idiosyncrasies

The lastest meme seems to be about listing 5 idiosyncrasies you have. I thought I would play along because I am 1) lazy and 2) happen to actually enjoy memes for some reason.

1. I am a paradoxical clean freak. Most of the time I am a horrible housekeeper and a horrible slob. But when I do clean, I clean frantically and completely. And when it is clean, I am a perfectionist about it. I will clean up repeatedly the smallest little things, like wiping the counter obsessively or taking the trash out as soon as it nears fullness. Good thing I don't clean very oftern.

2. I am a compulsive popper. Zits that is. I come from a long line of poppers. My mom is a Queen Popper of the "will-you-look-at-this-thing-on my back" popper. I can't help it. And right now with the pregnancy acne, I look like a land mine.

3. I've talked about this one before. When listening to music, I don't really hear the words. Usually a chorus will stick with me, but even if I know the words, I don't really process the words. I don't really pay attention to what is being said. I usually like a song or artist because of the beat of the song or the person's voice. When I was in dance and taught , I always pointed out beats in the song rather than counting out 8 counts.

4. Along the same lines of the above, I don't process words well if I can't see a person's lips. It's almost like I can't hear unless I can see the person's lips. But strangely enough if I can't see the lips, such as listening to the radio, if I can close my eyes and concentrate, I can process and "hear" better.

5. Chocoholic... sort of. I love chocolate of all kinds. But, I don't like chocolate flavored things. Chocolate cake, ice cream, powdered drink mixes, milk, etc. Just don't like it. Funny thing is, now that I'm pregnant, I can't get enough of chocolate flavored stuff. I am also like this with peach. I love peaches, but hate, loathe, peach flavored things.

So those are just a glance into my weird little quirks. I have lots, but I had a hard time remembering these.

Weekend Update with Shooter

So, you wanna hear about my weekend? Okay, because you asked so nicely.

Saturday was a busy day for me and I think I am still recovering. I'm still getting used to not being able to go as much as I used to. My Saturday started with the bright idea that I would treat myself to Starbucks, especially because I had a $10 gift card. Why not, right? Being the indecisive pregnant person that I am, I finally decided to try the Green Tea Frappacino. Bad mistake. This drink, tastes. like. a$$. Green A$$. Perhaps my pregnant synapses were not connecting well and say the green and assumed that somewhere in there might be the taste of mint. Logically speaking one would not make this connection, but alas, I'm and not logical at this point.

I drove the hour into Houston to meet my parents and my cousin and his wife who were in town from... well technically there are on their way from New York, moving to Pasedena, CA. It was good to catch up with them. I don't get to see them very often on the account that they live on one coast or the other and always have a one bedroom apartment which makes visiting on a "budget" difficult unless one wants to sleep in a broom closet. This cousin of mine is the one closest to me in age, but that is where the similarities end. First of all he is a boy. Secondly, he is a genius while me, not so much smart as smart a$$ (that's three a$$' in one post, it's now officially the word of Monday). He made like an almost perfect score on his SAT's. Went to Yale, then on to NYU for law school. Now he and his lawyer wife are moving to California to work in Attorney General's offices. Smarties. This guy has been debating since he could talk and rattle of stats from the stock market to baseball better than anyone I have ever met. Ridiculous really.

From there, my step-mom, MIL and myself went on the marathon of marathon's of baby registry. Let me just say that wedding registry - so much more fun. Don't get me wrong, it was fun picking things out, but I swear it took us over an hour to get out of the feeding area. I couldn't even begin to decide what type of bottles, what type of nipples, what type of milk storage, and on and on. We were there for 5 hours.

From there I went to the last of the "girlfriend's" 30th birthdays! We are officially all 30 now! Margaritas and Fajitas. No ritas for me though. This particular girlfriends lives as far as possible from me so my drive home was an hour and a half. For some of you, that's all the way across your state, for me, that's one city.

Anyways... now that I have completely bored you with the weekend update, try to have a happy Monday.

Dearest Baby

Dear Jazzy Baby,

We went and had the ultra-Ultrasound today and you performed brilliantly. We got to see you yawn and wiggle and wave at the camera and cover your ears trying to make that awful sound go away. The days when I get to "see" you make me so happy. I can smile all day long. These are the days that I know everything is okay. Not only because the doctor tells me everything looks good, but because I get to see you with my own eyes.

We do not want to find out what you are going to be, boy or girl, because both your father and I want it to be a surprise. A part of me did want to know today, but I am glad that we are going to wait. Most of us think you are a boy, I can't really tell you why. Your Aunt thinks you are a girl. I guess we will just wait and see. I hope you will forgive me and your father for always calling you a "he" if you do in fact turn out to be a girl.

I had a dream last night that you head poked out of my belly and then all of a sudden I was holding you. It was a little scary because in my dream I was only 5 months along, just like I am really. But I was so happy to hold you and see you in my arms. I cannot wait until I actually do get to hold you. But let's go ahead and wait another 5 months, mkay? Thanks.

We also toured the birthing center and it really looks nice. I think you will like it. You get to stay in the room with me and Daddy and we are very happy for that. The room is very good size and has a TV, DVD, VCR and CD Player as well as a refrigerator. They also have a full supply of popsicles, for free. That makes Mommy very happy. They have nice hydrotheraphy rooms where we can labor if we choose. Please don't give mommy too much back labor, mkay? We have enough back problems as it is.

I am very excited and can't wait to be able to feel you move in my belly. I'm not worried, yet, but if you could, just give me a good kick for my own sanity and I will be happy. Daddy talks to you every day and sometimes I have to tell him to lower his voice. He likes to yell at you to make sure that you are moving around and then he sticks his ear against my belly to listen to you slosh. He says he can hear you in there. Lucky him.

Almost 19 weeks now. Almost halfway there. I will try and do better at eating good foods and maybe getting some exercise. You just keep doing your job and I will do mine and we will meet soon. I love you.

Love,

Mommy

Pregnancy Torture

I forgot the best part of my little appointment today. I have to drink 36 oz. of fluid an hour before I go in. And I can't go pee until after the Ultrasound. Torture I tell you. It's currently 30 minutes before my appointment. And. I have to pee!

Friday Sunshine

Happy Friday Everyone! I'm off shortly for an Ultra-Ultrasound. Hopefully more getting to watch Jazzy Baby do acrobatics in my belly. But in the meantime, I leave you with these words of wisdom.

Condensed from "LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK, VOL. 2"H. JACKSON BROWN, Jr,(A footnote indicates the book was copyrighted in 1983)

Never laugh at anyone's dreams
Believe in love at first sight.

Trust in God, But Lock Your Car
Remember that no time spent with your children is ever wasted.

When traveling, take two big safety pins so you can pin the motel drapes shut.
Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one.

Keep the porch light on until all the family is in for the night.
Rehearse a joke before telling it.

Always try the house dressing.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Once in a while invite the person in line behind you to go ahead of you.
Send your mother-in-law flowers on your spouse's birthday.

Buy ladders, extension cords and garden hoses longer than you think you'll need.
Never be the first to break a family tradition.

Steer clear of any place with a "Ladies Welcome" sign in the window.
Don't stop a parade to pick up a dime.

Ask anyone giving directions to repeat them at least twice.
Don't wash a car, mow a yard, or select a Christmas tree after dark.

Hold your child’s hand every chance you get. The time will come when he or she won't let you.
Own a hammock.

Never be photographed holding a cocktail glass.
Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.

Someone will always be looking at you as an example of how to behave. Don’t let him down.
Do your homework and know your facts, but remember it's passion that persuades.

Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to the chairman of the board.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and say, "Why do you want to know?"

Overestimate travel time by 15 percent.
Don't be so concerned with your rights that you forget your manners.

Never wear a white bathing suit.
Don't dismiss a good idea simply because you don't like the source.

When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
Put the strap around your neck before looking through binoculars.

Never say anything uncomplimentary about your wife or children in the presence of others.
No matter how old you get, hug and kiss your mother whenever you greet her.

Brush your teeth before putting on your tie.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Phone home if you're going to be more than 20 minutes late.
Remember that everyone is influenced by kindness.

Overpay good baby sitters.
If you're away from home and hear church bells, think of three people who love you.

Leave a quarter where a child can find it.
When it comes to worrying or painting a picture, know when to stop.

Avoid using the word impacted unless you're describing wisdom teeth.
Never order chicken fried steak in a place that doesn't have a jukebox.

Go on blind dates. That's how I met your mother.
Call your dad.

Happy Friday. Spread some sunshine.

Nothing at all Really

It's 4:20 on a Thursday and my brain has reached capacity. Odd since I did very little of anything today, but shhh... don't tell anyone.

So I decided that I would write on this here blog something life changing for all of us. Do tell...

So I give you options to cursing should you be so inclined:
flubmonkey
lugcuket
foofighter
gobstopper
shutola
shooshums (good for Shut Up, not exactly cursing, but not so nice)
gibblegog
poo pie (don't bother me...)

In other news, if you haven't heard, The G family had Genuine Baby IV yesterday. Congrats to them!

What else could I possibly ramble about. How about trying to find a Grinch Costume that won't frighten small children. For those of you with small children, what are your thoughts on this costume?



Personally, it scares me a little bit. My choices are pretty much this costume or to have one made. Pretty frightening, huh?

Thankful

For lack of better/other things to say, here is what I am thankful for this week:

• The shuttle is home safe and sound.
• I am safe and sound and so is my family this week.
• New baby's. Go see Genuine's hour by hour account of the birth of Genuine Baby IV.
• My job. I may not always like it, but I'm sure glad I have one.
• Food on the table and milk in the fridge.
• A car that still runs. ***please don't jinx it***
• My girlfriends.
• Humpday!

The Week in Numbers

It has been a week... We'll just leave it at that. Lots going on, some beyond trying to explain, so here's a little glimpse, by the numbers.

2 deaths
1 funeral
1 trip across Texas
1 cold
4 sleepless nights
1.5 books read
1.5 days worked
1 day til the weekend
1 very jealous me for not attending blogher
1 slightly broken car 1 broken car without a new inspection
1 guestroom nowhere near clean to be turned into nursery

But, alas, 2 of the cutest little one's in the world, My Nephews:

Goolism

Found this over at Amber's Place. Very interesting. Words in bold are mine.


Googlism.com will find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything!

jasmine is welcome in winter
jasmine is this?
jasmine is a naked gun
jasmine is sexy =9 duh (Yeah Duh!)
jasmine is a qualified masseuse and offers a sensual (Sensual WHAT?)
jasmine is not happy this year
jasmine is available for adoption (Oh, really?)
jasmine is seven months old
jasmine is six months old
jasmine is a beautiful 16 inch black porcelain doll
jasmine is better than belle or ariel (I agree)
jasmine is incredulous at being told her experience with the (...)
jasmine is less than a two minute walk from the beautiful white sand taylor beach
jasmine is good ground cover fast
jasmine is welcome in winter by lee reich
jasmine is drooping (don't tell the whole world!)
jasmine is a qualified masseuse and offers a sensual erotic body 2 body massage (so that's the answer)
jasmine is jammin' in africa
jasmine is the sweetest cat i could ever (I don't even want to knwo what you could ever)
jasmine is called "the king of oils"
jasmine is very expensive (Damn skippy)
jasmine is an innovative musician (not so much)
jasmine is talking about?
jasmine is a beautiful 16" black porcelain doll (still?)
jasmine is a full object oriented database system
jasmine is a plant native to the south
jasmine is one scent nearly everyone loves
jasmine is a very powerful fragrance with a full (here we go again)
jasmine is calming
jasmine is useful with the following
jasmine is indigenous of himalayas of western china
jasmine is a true object database with an integrated development environment and a robust multi
jasmine is both strange and romantic in that its blooms open only at night
jasmine is regular presenter/reporter on sky digital?s ?simply money? channel
jasmine is over 25 years old
jasmine is one of the first plants that comes to mind when one thinks of sweet fragrance
jasmine is one of the first plants that comes to mind when one thinks
jasmine is evocative of warm
jasmine is a single or multistemmed shrub or
jasmine is nothing fancy to look at
jasmine is realising that its competitive edge
jasmine is aware of the importance of sport
jasmine is a popular groundcover
jasmine is ready for the holidays in this forest green confection
jasmine is a recovering alcoholic and johnnie walker keeps calling her name
jasmine is a sacred flower known as ?moonlight of the grove?
jasmine is incredibly strong
jasmine is a large
jasmine is the happiest baby i've ever known
jasmine is a pure object
jasmine is an evergreen fragile climbing shrub that can grow up to 10 meters
jasmine is incredulous at being told her experience with the alien dr
jasmine is
jasmine is wearing a gold band round one arm
jasmine is so harsh that it demands a touch of the true oil to soften it
jasmine is the next
jasmine is heaven sent
jasmine is one of the most recent
jasmine is fast
jasmine is an evergreen or semi
jasmine is a one of a kind alpaca with a personality that is all her own
jasmine is furious with him saying he should have consulted her first
jasmine is stabbed and seriously injuried it is julie who looks after her
jasmine is extremely polydexterous
jasmine is also a dog
jasmine is very much in touch with the personal wishes of her group and cleverly adapts the visit accordingly
jasmine is the princess of agrabah
jasmine is a true ground cover; its
jasmine is approximately 8 days
jasmine is getting worse
jasmine is a major breakthrough for enterprise developers
jasmine is referred to as "the king"
jasmine is outgoing
jasmine is strong sensual stimulant
jasmine is far more powerful than its queen
jasmine is it usually has a quite strong fragrance
jasmine is best pruned in late winter
jasmine is the daughter of alice and glenn gadie of detroit
jasmine is active
jasmine is an exclusive
jasmine is a black & white male alaskan malamute who is about 9½ years old and weighs approximately 75 pounds
jasmine is an absolute delight
jasmine is a 9 year old pitbull
jasmine is the blonde bombsite er
jasmine is a sturdy
jasmine is an overwriting
jasmine is classified as jasminum officinale

I gave up half way through with the witty comments.

4:00 AM

We had an interesting morning today. At 4:00 AM hubby jumped out of bed because he said someone had rang the door bell. I didn't hear anything and I usually hear everything. He had pulled the gun out and I lay there wondering what to do and my heart beating wildly. Hubby came back from the living room laughing. I could not figure out what could possibly be funny. This is what was so funny.

And More fun.
This is what I found when I went to step out the back door.

And here is the funniest part. This is hubby's car. This is Tigger, going "What the hell is that?"

It seems that some of hubby's buddies decided to play at our house last night. I didn't think it was so funny at 4 or 5 or 6 for that matter, but 7:30, hilarious!

Jelly Bean 16 Weeks

Traveling Hand Signals

I sit in quite a bit of traffic living in the vicinity of Houston as you can imagine. My main route home is currently under construction as well so I sit for about 45 minutes a day in mind numbing traffic. On occasion I will take back roads, although it takes a little longer even with the traffic on the main roads, but it is usually a more pleasant drive.

Sitting in traffic one day I thought how nice it would be to communicate with other drivers via hand signals, and no, I'm not talking about that one signal we all use when we are angry. No, signals that would tell us something about what was up ahead. Similar to the flashing of one's headlights to signal a police officer up ahead. We could have signals for "accident ahead" or "stalled car" or signals that might tell us how much farther to get past said problem, "10 more minutes". Signals such as, "Take the feeder/frontage road instead" or, "It's hopeless, turn around now."

Traveling hand signals would be used by drivers coming from the opposite direction to help us decide the best way to go about our business. Sometimes I think it would help me be patient if I at least had an idea of why I was moving so slow. If there is an accident, I try to be patient by telling myself that it could be worse, and I could be the one in an accident, so me being stuck in traffic is considerably better than having to deal with an accident or being hurt. Same goes for a stalled car. Being that I have always driven older, not so reliable vehicles, I can always be thankful that it is not me stuck on the side of the road.

Want some help?

Is it just me or does anyone else get the heebie jeebies from that damn paperclip helper guy that pops up in Micros*ft Word? I always feel like he is wiggling his eyebrows at me and saying, "Hey, baby, want some help?" in a dirty old man kind of way, know what I mean?

I feel good...

It is so wonderful to be able to say, "I feel good," when people ask how I am feeling. After 2 months of doing nothing but bitch and moan every time someone asked how I was feeling, I even prefer to hear myself say, "great!"

Thank you to all of the Mommies and Daddies that gave me advice on diapers. Now to just get hubby to add me to the Sam's account so I can go a diaper hunting. I know I am starting early, but my boss said that it worked so well for her and her hubby and they didn't have to spend a lot of money all at once, but spread it out, so I thought I would try it. Now I really need to start cleaning out the guestroom and turning it into the baby's room. I have gotten my first stuff for the room, thanks to my step mother, who could barely wait until the 2nd trimester cut off line before buying stuff. Pictures to come, or there is a link to my registery over there on the right.

And there comes the end of my attention span...

From Blue Butts to Baby Butts

To all you mommies out there, I have a question. Pampers or Huggies? Or does it matter? I am going to start buying diapers every week now, hopefully on sale, but not sure where to start. Any ideas on how many of each size I should buy? Help!

Smurf Butt

Saturday afternoon I walked into our master bath, because I do that a lot these days. I flipped on the light because something looked weird on the seat. Sure enough, the seat was blue. In the shape of a butt. Blue Butt. I called my hubby to see if maybe he had sprayed something on the seat that might have reacted with skin or something. We could not figure it out. I joked that it had to be hubby's butt, because there was no way my butt was that big. Ahh, denial. I was scared to sit on the seat since I didn't know what was wrong with it, so I started using the guest bath.

Last night, we went to my parents for dinner. I was in the restroom a couple of times during our stay, simply because I now have a bladder the size of a pea. As we were getting ready to leave, hubby went in to relieve himself and afterward called me in there. Guess what was there. Blue Butt. Guess whose fault? I have Smurf Butt. I think it must have something to do with a chemical reaction between two medications I am taking that I started on Friday. It really is strange though. See for yourself.

Smurf Butt Toilet

Turtle Friday

Can this day possibly go any slower? Today has felt like a Monday and I have the mood to prove it. Why is it when a day starts bad, everything that follows has some bad in it too.

Looking for to hopefully having the new Harry Potter book at home when I get there. But, I'm not holding out hope, just because UPS says it's in the general area, does not mean it is going to be on my doorstep. And of course, it would be one more thing that didn't go my way today.

Bah Humbug!

The Age of Innocence: 16 & 17

Since 16 & 17 are so close and kind of run into each other, I will cover them together in one post.

I was 16 at the beginning of my Junior year in High schoool. At this time, I was a member of our high kick drill team, The Band Aids. We were considered part of the band and performed with the band, hence the name Band Aids. Not because some of our routines were especially brutal. I remember on routine to the song Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where we went from a standing position and fell straight onto our faces. We of course, or hopefully, caught ourselves with our hands. That was the intent anyways. In practicing to get this move right, we ended up with many bruised knees. At least until we discovered that knee pads were miracle workers. Too bad we couldn't wear them during the performance. At least that would be on the football field.

When I turned 16 or soon after, my Dad gave me his old car. It was a mint green 1981 Mazda 626. I didn't care what it was, it was a CAR. Not long after I got it, I would be driving along and all of a sudden it wouldn't go into any gear and then white smoke would poor out the tail pipe. I kept telling my father about the problems, but the car would never do it for him. He finally took it into the mechanic and they told him the engine was going to blow up. Told you so.

I remember my Dad taking me and my friend Lauren for our learner's permits. The day we were going, it poured and I remember, driving down Willowbend on the wrong side of the road. Technically we were actually on the sidewalk and on people's lawns. We had to be or we would have just gotten stuck and we were getting those permit's come hell or high water. Pun intended. I remember a bus came by and we rocked back and forth from the waves. That was the day I learned that as long as you kept on the gas so that water did not get into the tail pipe, you should be okay driving through semi-high water. Don't quote me on that.

I remember driver's ed too. I remember almost going into a ditch one day with someone driving. Most of all I remember the video they showed us about trying to beat trains. It was disturbing and has had a lasting affect on me for sure. I will never try to beat a train.

At the end of my Junior Year, at 17, I had try outs for cheerleading. At that time you could not be a cheerleader until your senior year. Our senior year would be the first year that we allowed Juniors. We had practice every day after school with the current squad. I remember hours of my arms going up and down into all different cheer positions. It was hard work. I would come home sore every day, but I didn't care. I had wanted to be a cheerleader for as long as I could remember. Try outs came and I was so nervous. We had to go out on stage and do our cheers while the judges sat out somewhere in the dark auditorium and watched us in the spotlight. I am sure that I said I did horrible. I remember the day they were announcing who made the squad. All of us that tried out sat in the hallway awaiting the announcements. The outgoing squad came over the loud speaker to announce the 1992-93 Cheerleading Squad. They had made up two line little poems for each of us. I don't remember what mine said, but I remember being so happy I made it. I may have that poem somewhere.

The summer between my Junior and Senior year was spent practicing for cheerleading. Hours in the sun practicing stunts and cheers and pyramids and more. This summer was also a summer that would change my life forever. At this time my Mother and sister lived in Mexico. my mother ran a small resort in the Yucatan about 4 hours south of Cancun. This would be last summer I would visit here. It was the 3rd or 4th summer that I had been coming to visit mother in this particular location. My mother never stayed in one place very long. This summer my Mother got married. I remember finding my sister at the wedding. She was drinking Mescal, a very strong drink. Keep in mind my sister is 4 years younger than me. I took one sip of that stuff and about threw up. Yuck. But she kept drinking it.

Later that night something happened that forever changed my view of the world. I am not ready to tell that story yet, but maybe someday. I have started to write it, but don't know that I am ready to share that with the world yet.

Back to happier times. High school was your typical drama central. I had a boyfriend and then I didn't. I had a best friend and then I didn't. I turned 18 in December of 1993 and graduated the following May. I left high school behind me when I graduated and never looked back really until my 10 year reunion two years ago, where I reunited with so many of my girl friends that I had been missing all these years. I am glad to have them all back in my life. Now I can really appreciate them.

I spent much of high school depressed and disappointed. I expected a lot of other people and when those expectations (which were usually unreasonable) were not met, I was angry and hurt. I spent a lot of time angry and hurt and I look back now and it's such a shame that I could not enjoy the blessings I had in my life. I had always wanted to be a cheerleader, but my experiences on the squad were dampened by my negative view of the world and my high expectations of others to make/keep me happy. I look back now and realize how lucky I was and how blessed I was. I am so thankful that at least now I appreciate all the things and people around me. I am healed. I am blessed. I am happy.