Selling Guidelines

I work in the marketing and advertising world and I am constantly having to talk to sales people. People who sell publications. I have gotten to the point where I try to just get them to send me the information via email and then avoid their calls. I pretty much know up front whether or not we are going to be interested in a certain publication. Sometimes I am just not in the mood that I can say no, so I lead them on for a little bit. Not on purpose, just because I am lazy. Occassionally I do allow a sales person to enter my domain (aka, my office) and give me the "sales pitch" in person. Here are some tips on how to sell me something and how not to.

When in person:

1. Show up ON TIME. I hate people who are late and especially if you are trying to sell me something. If you are lost, call me and let me know.

2. Don't babble about crap I could care less about. I know what the weather is outside. You are wasting my time and cutting into my blog time.

3. If I have already told you we will not spend any more money this year, quit trying to sell me this year.

4. I of course know that you have "the best publication for my needs." If you didn't say this crap, your boss would FIRE you because you couldn't sell. I know what is perfect for my business, not you.

On the phone:
1. If they first thing you say is, "How are you, Ms. Client?" I know immediately you are a sales person and although I might say, "fine, how are you?" what I really want to say is, "whatever you want to sell me, I probably don't want so hurry up and pitch so I can hang up on you."

2. If I explain nicely why you are not a fit for our company, shut up already. If I have to say "No" more than twice, I am annoyed and most likely will eventually say, "Thank you, we are not interested, good-bye." Click.

3. Do not try to explain my business to me. That will only serve to annoy me faster and push #2 into happening faster.

4. Do not have someone else from your same company call me in the same week and then act like you didn't know someone with your publication already called me this week. Right hand learn what the left hand is doing.

5. If you leave 5 messages in two days, I will most likely not call you back out of spite.

6. If you do leave 5 messages in two days and I do not call you back, take this as a good sign that I AM NOT INTERESTED. Leave me alone.