Two Months

Dear Savannah,

You turn two months old today and wow has time flown by. My pregnancy is just a small memory in the past and I can hardly imagine my life before you were in it. How to put into words all that you are to me and your father is hard to do, but I will try.

You make up every waking (and some sleeping) moments of my day (and night). You are starting to settle into a "routine", and I use that term loosely. I am getting better at distinguishing your cries although sometimes you still seem to cry "for no reason." We are getting on a better sleep schedule, meaning you will actually sleep some and sort of consistently during the day. Now that I have said that, it will all be screwed up. You have gone a few nights up to 6 hours of sleeping. I wake up thinking that I slept through a feeding. You are also having more awake time that is not spent crying. You will play on your play gym for 30 minutes or so and enjoy it or sometimes you will just sit and study everything around you. You will even enjoy your swing more now although I don't think you fully appreciate the fun of it all. You hate to be held in a cradle position, preferring to be held so that you are looking over my shoulder. This makes for a lot of back pain for your father and me, but that is okay, we will learn. You love to look out the big back window and will cry when moved from this postion. You hold your head up so well, sometimes bonking me in the lip or eye as you bobble around because you will not rest your head.

You are starting to smile in response to your father and me, not just smiling while you fall asleep. I love, love, love to make you smile. It is such a beautiful smile you have. You still want to eat ALL THE TIME. The doctor said to not let you eat more than every two hours. Sometimes getting you to go that two hours is like torture, for you and me both. You are such a good little eater, taking after your father who eats like a Hoover. You hold your top leg up while you eat like a little lever, occassionally kicking me in the side for your enjoyment. Sometimes you spill more than you swallow so I have to wash your neck and ears frequently to keep you from smelling like sour milk.

Your eyes are turning an amazing shade of purply blue and I can't wait to see what color they end up. Hopefully they will be closer to your daddy's pretty light blue than mommy's storm blue. You are so long and weigh a good 12 pounds or so. We go to the doctor for your two month check up tomorrow and will see how much you really weigh and how long you really are.

Everyday is different with you and that is okay. It keeps me on my toes as I am sure you will do for me all your life. I try and cherish every moment, knowing that soon you will not let me hold you while you sleep or kiss you all over whenever I want. I try not to jump ahead to when you will leave for school or learn to drive or go off to college. I know these things are far away, but I also know that time moves quickly sometimes. I want to remember every moment with you.

You are so precious to me and I can't wait to see how you grow in the next month. Mommy and Daddy love you very much.

Love,
Momma

Movies

Name the last really good movie you saw.

The Tween Generation

First off let me say how much I hate the word tween. But the power was proven on the nightly news, if their info is correct. It seems the person who holds the attendance at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is Hilary Duff. Not George Strait, the King of Country. Hilary, a tween idol, I suppose. Marketers have been targeting this age range for years now and it's obvious it is working. The sadest part, it's not their money they are spending. So basically, kids are telling their parents where to spend their money.

I have a question

No really, I do. I have been taking some video with my digital camera and I don't know how to get it to my family so they can share in Savvy's cuteness. I don't have a CD burner, I know, I'm stuck in the old days. Is there a site like flickr or somewhere, where I can share my videos or post them to my blog somehow? Can anyone help me?

I have an answer or two

Christine asked: Okay - what is your favorite color to dress Savvy in? (Before my daughter was born I rejected pink for lavenders and yellows, but after she was here I found pink was my favorite!) What is your favorite part of motherhood so far? Your least favorite?What is the best piece of advice about having an infant did you receive? And what was the worst?(If that is too many questions, just pick your favorite one.

I really dislike pink, but have found that I do dress her in pink a lot, because after all she is a girl and she is cute in pink. Pastels in general make me puke, but a baby looks good in pastels and it's a good thing because it's hard to find primary colored clothes for infants. I love her in white though. I don't really have a least favorite, but I suppose that I would not dress her in black even though I love black for me. Black is not for babies.

My favorite part of motherhood so far is breastfeeding I think. I love that quiet time you get with her. Only you the mother can feed her baby this way and it creates a bond that she won't have with any other person. One of these days I'm going to answer the door with my boob hanging out though.

The best piece of advice I received about having an infant is probably to sleep when she does although this is easier said than done. I do try and nap when she does, but because it is so random when she sleeps, I generally end up doing things around the house, taking a shower or checking email.

The worst piece of advice I have received is that it's okay to let them cry if you need a break. It's not that it is bad advice, but again, it's easier said than done. We have tried the cry it out method a couple of times and it just tears me apart, so we are done with that. When you need a break, hand her to someone else. But sometimes that has to wait until someone else is there.

Becky originally asked: how do you reference a specific blog or article in a post. I have figured out how to reference people, but I can't figure out how to zero in to a specific post on that person's site . But she got the answer to that from the wonderful Duke of Earle. So I will answer her next question, Have you had your first mommy margarita yet?

I tried to have a margarita at Jennifer's b-day party last weekend, but it was too strong and I don't think I would have been able to walk had I drank it. Now, wine on the other hand, I partake in a glass about every other day. Probably too much, but a girl needs a break.

Bekah asked: What has surprised you the most in this first six weeks??

Hmmm... The first couple of weeks were actually really easy. She slept most of the time and I didn't mind the night feedings because she went right back to sleep. I think as an expecting mother, you expect the first two weeks to be the hardest. They weren't for me. The two weeks following those were probably the hardest because the first two were so easy and then it got harder when she wasn't sleeping consistently and I didn't have as much help around the house and I was having to do more.

Tiff asked: How many times a day do you find yourself smelling Savvy's head? More than I can count. I love her head. And her cheeks. And her nose. All the way down to her toes.

Leslie asked: Did you ever think you could love something so much? No, I didn't. Plain and simple, there is no other love like it. I have wanted to be a mother my whole life and now that I am, there is nothing better. I have learned (just a little bit) though that along with that love comes great fear. I have chilled out a little bit, but those first few weeks, I couldn't watch the news without thinking of how I would manage if one of those awful things happened to my baby. I found myself tearing up over stupid commercials about children. I worry constantly that she will suffocate in the crib or one of those other many accidents that you think can never happen, but do. Fear takes on a whole new dimension when you have children, but so does love.

John Duke of Earle, the ever wise one simply stated, "Jazzy,That raised hand with the little clenched fist? That's not a question, it's a symbol of BABY POWER! Watch out for her when she gets older."

Funny he should say that. Usually when she does this, I not only ask her what her question is, but I speak what I imagine is in her mind, "Power to the Babies!" Oi!

Angela Marie asked: How and why did you quit smoking? Isn't motherhood great (even with all the spitup and pooping)?

I quit smoking cold turkey about 4 years ago this month. I knew that smoking affected my fertility and a friend had recently gotten pregnant and I guess it triggered something in me and I just quit. I had three cigs left in my pack, I smoked them and haven't touched one since. I always knew that I wasn't a lifetime smoker, despite the fact that I smoked for almost 10 years. I knew as soon as I got pregnant with my first child I would never smoke again, or so I hoped. I am so glad that I quit back then and not when I got pregnant, I think it is easier that way.

Motherhood is fabulous! Even with all the poopy action!

Got more questions? Keep 'em coming!

You in the back, what's your question

Savvy has a way of raising her hand over her head while she sleeps in such a manner that both her father and I look at her and ask, "yes, what is your question." It is the cutest thing. She will be fast asleep and all of a sudden from her side all the way up, she raises her little hand very slowly, clenched tightly in a fist up over her head. So today, I ask you, my few and far between readers, what is your question? I haven't done a Q&A in awhile so ask away. Whatever you want, I'm here for the asking.

Empty Nest

The people two houses down recently moved out. I certainly don't miss the cars and trucks coming by at all hours of the night. Theirs was the hang out house and boy did they have a lot of friends. What is sad is that the house now sits empty. The house right next door to us is also empty and has been since we moved in. It is strange how you can tell an empty house from a lived in house. There is just something lonely that emanates from an empty house. Know what I mean?

Mothering

I'm here. I'm mothering.

Happy Heart Day and Birthday

Happy Valentine's Day to all who acknowledge it and a more important, very Happy Birthday to my Hubby. My all your hearts be happy today.

The Short Story

Any mother knows what it is like trying to get things done with a new baby. So needless, to say, my blogging time has been cut into quite a bit. I would post more frequently and longer posts, if only I could remove my daughter from my top half for long enough to do anything at all.

Still adjusting to new motherhood. Some days are better than others, but all in all, I would say we have it pretty easy.

I did finally get my hair done, Amen. It's the little things in life, really.

Bang, Bang

I haven't had bangs since I was a little girl, except if you count when all my hair was shorter than those bangs you see there. It looks better when it's clean, but alas, when does one find time to shower with a one month old. Yes, can you believe she is already a month old as of yesterday. Boy how flies time.

Sisterhood

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Tibby to Bailey

"Are you afraid?" Tibby asked.

"Not of dying really," replied Bailey. "It's more that I'm afraid of time. Of not having enough of it. Time to figure out who I'm supposed to be. To find my place in the world before I have to leave it. I'm afraid of what I'll miss."

We do not regret the things we did so much as the things we didn't do.

Just Curious

Does anyone use BlogClicker or BlogExplosion anymore?

AGH! I've been Tagged

Because I love her so much, I will acknowledge the tag. My five most guilty pleasures in completely random order.

1. Gummi Bears. I love me some gummi bears.
2. Showers have become a guilty pleasure. It's the only place I get to be alone now.
3. Shoes and Purses. I know that's really two, but I'm lumping them into one because I can. I never seem to have enough of either in black. My husband would argue that I never need another pair of black shoes or another black purse. I just can't help it.
4. Smelling my baby's head and kissing her cheeks. This is a new one for me, but I cannot get enough.
5. Reading blogs. I could do it for hours, but I don't have hours. I cannot even make it through half my blogroll in a day.

I won't bother tagging anyone. If you like it, steal it and leave a comment to tell me where to look.

Two weeks and one day

Savvy turned two weeks old yesterday and on some levels it feels like she has been here forever and on other levels it feels like it is all so new still and I can't believe she belongs to us. I am living my life in two hour intervals it seems most of the time. We took her out to dinner on Saturday night and then she and I had our first solo outing on Sunday to meet my parents, aunt, uncle and Nana for breakfast. It felt so good to drive the car. The little things we take for granted everyday are brought into perspective when you have a child.

We are both doing well. She is a really good baby. She has been a little fussy from what we think is gas/constipation. She grunts and grunts and makes faces and doesn't always go to the bathroom. She still likes to save up her poo for a 2 hour time period per day. I guess that is okay.

I'm about to say something that may horrify many of you mothers. Please look away if it is too awful for you. Here we go...

I fit into my prepregnancy jeans!!! I couldn't believe it. Please don't hate me because I'm jeanful.

And now for what you have really all been waiting for, cuteness in pictures.

Advice from Momma

To my dear Savannah, always remember these things. These are things I hope to teach you as you grow. I will add this list to my sidebar and continually add to it, I hope, if I can figure out how.

• Don't judge others too quickly, lest they do the same to you.
• But, generally, you can judge a person by how they treat a waiter, their mother and a valet.
• You are the only one responsible for your actions. No matter what. Live so that you are proud of yourself and your decisions.
• Be accountable always for your actions. Admit when you are wrong and stand up when you are right.
• Live in such a way that God would be proud of you.
• Stand up for what you believe in. Those beliefs may change over time and that is okay too.
• Live your life so that you have no regrets. Our experiences, both good and bad, make us who we are each day.
• Life is full of change. Be flexible and go with the flow-it is so much easier than fighting change.
• Happiness comes from within. No one has control over your emotions except you. With each experience, you have a choice as to how you will react to it. Choose wisely.
• Love yourself above all else. If you don't love yourself, you cannot fully love someone else and you cannot let someone else fully love you.
• No matter what, your father and I will always love you.
• Always use kind words when speaking of others. You never know one's current situation and we do not want to be hurtful.
• Sometimes a new hairdo can change your whole outlook.
• But, always remember, beauty comes from within. If you are beautiful on the inside, it will shine through.
• Remember, there are always consequences for our actions. Make decisions based on the consequences.
• Do the things you want to do today. When you are old, you will not regret the things you did so much as the things you never did.

The Arrival of Savannah Leigh

The Birth Story of Savannah Leigh

Born January 15, 2006
4:24 PM
8 lbs 6 ozs 21 inches long

I was officially due on January 8th so was a week past due and scheduled to be induced on Monday, January 16th. In the week between the 8th and the 16th I had grown tremendously and was starting to be tired of being pregnant, mostly because of the worry of being past due more than anything. Each day brought new worry that he/she wasn't okay. (We didn't know she was a girl and were positive that she was actually a boy- insert God laughing here). I was also worried because my Mom was scheduled to fly back to NM on Monday and had run out of time off, so she had to go back regardless. I could not imagine the birth of my first child without my mother there. Other than avoiding an induction, this was my top priority (other than the obvious of a healthy baby). The other main factor was that my doctor had been out of town and was getting back on Sunday. I really wanted her to deliver our baby and not the doctor on call.

On Saturday I thought it might be possible that I was leaking fluid so we took a trip to the hospital, but it was a false alarm. We visited with friends who just had their baby at the hospital and then came home to wait some more.

I woke up at 4:30 am on Sunday, January 15th to a pretty hard contraction. I had been having contractions off and on for about a week and a half. Most of the time they were not painful, but occasionally I would have a painful one. I laid in bed for about a half an hour and kept having contractions so I finally got up and moved to the couch. I started keeping track and they were about 6 minutes apart and pretty strong. I wasn't in too much pain, but they were making me take notice. I went outside and took some pictures of the sunset, wondering if today would be my baby's birthday. At about 8:30 I woke up my husband and told him that my contractions were pretty regular and that this might actually be it. He got up and we took a shower. My Mom was up by the time I had blow dried my hair and we called the doctor. The doctor said to go on in to the hospital and get checked. As we gathered up our stuff, I hoped that this would not be another false alarm.

We drove to the hospital with my contractions getting closer to 5 minutes apart. We arrived at about 10:30 am. It took a little while to walk in as I was beginning to be in a lot more pain. When we checked in and they put me in a triage room and checked me I was at 3 cm and 100% effaced. This was about where I had been at my last doctor's appointment on Thursday so I was somewhat disappointed. They were having trouble getting my contractions to show up on the monitor as well as keeping a good reading on the baby's heartrate. Her heartrate was good, they just couldn't get the monitor in a good place. My MIL arrived shortly after we did. We called my Dad and StepMom and they called back shortly to say they were delayed because their waterbed had sprung a leak. We joked that their water had broken. The nurse told me to walk around the hospital for an hour and come back and get monitored again. The hospital was pretty quiet so hubby and I walked the halls, stopping with contractions for me to hang on his neck and make it through the contractions. They were getting worse and I was praying that all this pain meant that I was progressing.

We went back to triage when the hour was up and got hooked back up to the monitor. They were still having trouble getting the contractions to show up on the monitor. I don't know if they didn't believe I was having contractions, but I was very vocal about the pain I was in, so I don't know how you wouldn't think I was in labor. When the nurse checked me I was still at 3cm, but she gave me a 3-4 cm when she saw the look on my face. She said they would monitor me for a little longer and then I would either have to walk some more or they were going to send me home. Hubby couldn't believe they would send me home in the pain I was in.

About 5 minutes later I felt this kick and then a gush of fluid. My water broke!!! Either my Mom or my MIL went and told the nurse and her response was, "Instant admission". Unfortunately, the hospital had gotten busy and they didn't have the staff to staff all the rooms, so they didn't have a room available for me. At this hospital we labor, deliver and recover all in the same room. I didn't really care at this point although we had up to 7 people in our little triage room at a time and it was tight. At some point my Dad and Stepmom showed up, but time had ceased to be something real to me. I was in a lot of pain and was having severe back labor. Each contraction may have had a beginning and an end, but the pain never stopped. They still couldn't get them to show up on the monitor. I was getting lost in the contractions and having trouble focusing some. My dad, stepmom and MIL took turns applying pressure to my back, while I focused on my husband and my mom talking me through each contraction. I guess about 12:30 pm I couldn't take it anymore. I was dreading each upcoming contraction and couldn't do it anymore and certainly couldn't imagine doing it for hours, so I broke down and asked for the epidural. Someone went to the tell the nurse and she said she would get it going. At some point she came in and started my IV. I moved during the first try so she tried two more times before she got it. I hate IV's and the pain of the IV on top of the contractions didn't help. The nurse came back and said it would be a little bit for the epidural because a lady had come in full dilated and ready to deliver and there was also an emergency C-section and only one anesthesiologist on that day. The nurse offered me IV drugs for the pain, which I really wanted at the time, but hubby and I had discussed and we really didn't want to do this for the sake of our baby. The less medical intervention the better so he promptly said no. At the time I really did want something, but I am really glad we didn't do it. I just kept saying, "Where is my freaking epidural?" and hubby kept saying, "It's coming."-

At some point they finally moved me to a room and my Mom called my doctor. She had told us to call her because she really wanted to be around for "the party". About 3:30 pm the anesthesiologist finally came in. They made everyone leave except my hubby. Thank goodness they let him stay otherwise I don't think I would have made it. The epidural didn't hurt a bit really. Pain is relative during the labor process. Funny, on the way to the hospital I said something to the affect of I couldn't imagine the amount of pain you had to be in to actually want someone to stick a rather large needle into your spinal canal. Now I knew the level of pain and I didn't care if you had to strap me up by my heels and beat me to take away the pain, I just wanted it gone. Pretty quickly the epidural kicked in and the pain went away.

Right after the anesthesiologist left, my doctor came in. I hadn't been checked since before my water broke so the nurse had just finished checking me and I was at a blessed 9cm and completely effaced, no cervix to be seen hardly. The doctor then checked me and said that I was at 10 cm. She said that the next contraction we would see how I could push. At some point in this process, my doctor mentioned that she had given blood and hoped that she didn't pass out. I told hubby to be ready to catch our baby just in case. They were still having trouble getting the contractions to show up on the monitor and by now I couldn't feel them any more. The next contraction I pushed and the doctor said, "Whoa, look at all that hair on that head. Let's go ahead and have a baby." She got prepared and we started pushing. I pushed three times per contraction. Because the contractions weren't showing up on the monitor, the nurse had to feel my stomach to see when one was started. During the contractions I heard my Mom open the door and ask if they needed help. I thought she just wanted to really be in there (which she did, of course, but apparently the call button light was on outside the room and no one had come to help. My Mom was a midwife for many years, an RN and is currently a nurse practitioner in women's health so she could have helped, but I really just wanted me and my husband in there for the birth of our first child. I pushed through about 5 or 6 contractions and there she was. Hubby says he was the one that told me it was a girl. She was placed on my belly and she was so beautiful. She was wide eyed and just looking around. I think asked why she wasn't screaming. I needed her to scream so that I knew she could breathe. They wiped her off and then she let out a little wail and then quit crying again and just was taking it all in.

I cried and hubby cried and they whisked her across the room to clean her up and check her. Hubby went with her. The family was chomping at the bit to get in so I told them they could let them in. It was a zoo. I was still splayed wide open and had torn a little bit so the doctor was sewing me up. My mom, dad, stepmom, MIL, Bekah as well as my husband, the doctor and a variety of nurses were in the room. I just laid there looking towards my baby, tears in my eyes. The experience was so surreal. It happened so fast, yet took so long.

The grandparents passed her around while I got stitched up the rest of the way and then she was handed to me so I could feed her. She latched right on. The nurses were so impressed with her and everyone kept telling me how beautiful she was. She hardly cried at all while they were cleaning her up and even during her first bath, we hardly heard a peep.

I am so blessed to have this wonderful, amazing new life intertwined with mine. I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends that love me and her to no end. We have had so much help at home that I find myself saying, I can do this, no problem, but at 4:00 am I sometimes forget that.

There are a lot of interesting numerical correlations with Savvy's birth. My sister and I were born four years and 8 days apart. Savvy and her twin cousins are exactly one year and 8 days apart. My mom went into labor with me at 4:30 am and had me at 4:36 pm the same day. I went into labor with Savvy at 4:30 am and had her at 4:24 pm the same day. My birthday is December 13, Hubby's is February 14 and Savvy's is January 15, 13,14,15 and December, January, February. Don't know what it all means, but it is interesting.

Today Savvy is a week old. As I type this she is laying on her Play Gym fast asleep. I cannot get enough of her. I miss her when I sleep. Her father is the same way and my heart bursts just a little when I see him with her. There are so many things going through my mind as I come to terms with the fact that I have joined a group of people that is so special, Mothers. I am a Mother and will always be a Mother. Having Savvy has changed my relationship with my parents already. I immediately respect them more and understand their protectiveness throughout my life. I am a worrier at heart, but hope not to worry myself to death, but don't see how. I cannot imagine anything ever happening to my little girl. At night, every little noise makes me sit up in bed and check to make sure she is okay. How I will ever move her to another room, I do not know. I currently have a cold and am so afraid she will get it. I can suffer, but I do not want her to suffer.

She is already so strong. She can lift her head and throw herself off my shoulder. She can even lift her head while laying on her stomach. She hardly cries at all, except if she is very hungry or very poopy. She can projectile poop like you would not believe and she likes to store up the days' poop and let it out in little bursts all in about a 2 hour time period. She can even pee like a boy. She has what we call the pee and poop show about once a day, where she waits for you to take off her diaper and then lets it all loose at once. It makes me laugh so hard, I almost pee my pants every time she does it.

Thank you, God for the blessing you have bestowed upon me. May I make you proud.

Rumor dispelled

I will get around to posting the birth story soon, but to dispell the rumor, I did not go natural. I begged for that epidural. They made me wait for it, but once I got, boy was I a happy camper. That is the best thing that was ever invented!

Home sweet home

We are home and all doing well. Thank you for all the well wishes. Will post the incredible story soon.

A day of fulfillment

A pictures that says it all.


Hi Everyone...Bekah here.

Just a brief note to let all know that Jazzy and baby girl are doing well....very well.

I was able to be outside the door as this new life was brought into our world. I was able to experience the formation of a new family as Jazzy, her hubby and family met their new baby for the very first time. I am honored and touched beyond words to have been able to experience their very intimate, private moments that have connected me to this little girl and family in a very profound way.

This afternoon I saw what I can only describe as a life fulfilled. As I watched Jazzy hold her baby close and nurse her for the first time, I saw Jazzy become a mother. I saw all the years I've known her flash before me in this one moment and I saw her as she has always wanted to be - a mother holding her new infant in her arms with her loving (and oh! so! wonderful! husband) looking over her shoulder. This is what she has spent her whole life waiting for, I knew that for sure.

I can't do justice to the "wholeness" of what I saw today. I can only say that it was beautiful and wonderful and hopeful and makes me believe in God so strongly that it rocks me to my soul.

I'll let Jazzy post her own birth story and thoughts, but I wanted to share mine with you, and Jazzy.

Thank you for letting me part of this wonderful new beginning. I love you all, I'm here always and God Bless You.

It's a GIRL!

She's here! She's here! Its a girl!!!!! She was 8.59 pounds and born about 4:30 this afternoon and from what I understand she did all of it natural! Go Jazzy! If she got meds it was RIGHT at the end!

CONGRATULATIONS Jazzy! Congrat's Jazzy's hubby! Yeah! The baby is here!

I'm going to try to go see her tomorrow. Someone will post pics soon!!!!

~Em~

Baby Update

This morning, they went to the hospital around 9:30am. Jazzy was 3cm dialated.

At 2:15pm they were putting her in a room (I guess the hospital is slammed) and she's about 4cm
dialated. She's in alot of pain but her mom said that everything was fine. Her dad and stepmom had just arrived, so all the parents are there.

From various sources we are being kept informed and someone will be passing that along to you, here in Internet Land. In the meantime, say a prayer that all goes well for mama and baby.

~Em~

The baby's coming! The baby's coming!!!!

Hi! This is Em from Giggling Universe. Thought everyone would be glad to know that about an hour or so ago Jazzy and her hubby headed for the hospital. Her contractions are about 5 minutes apart and getting pretty intense.

Either Bekah or I will update as we know more!

No baby

I'm beginning to sense a theme to my posts. No baby.

Update

Still no baby. He/she is snug as a bug in a rug and ain't coming out yet. I had my last doctor's appointment today and all still looks good and despite contractions and losing my plug, no progression. Still 2 cm and 80% effaced. So unless I go into labor between now and Monday, they will induce on Monday. It is starting to feel like we will never have this baby, but I guess really by Tuesday we will have a baby, because he/she has to come out sometime.

Baby update

Well, apparently my womb is a great old place to hang and the baby is perfectly happy there. I haev tried telling him/her that it's not that scary out here and that he/she will have a lot more room out here than in there, but he/she is stubborn like me and therefore responds by kicking me in the ribs.

Went to the doc today. No progress at all. Bummer since I have been having all these contractions that don't seem to be doing anything at all. My non-stress test was very good, the baby reacts the way he/she should and I am healthy and the baby is healthy, so we will continue to wait. She did strip my membranes, which didn't feel so hot at all. Haven't seen it do much of anything yet. Will try some home remedies possibly this week and see if we can't kick start this here party.

We did set an induction date for next Monday. I have to call at 5 AM to see if the schedule will fit me in, but at that time I will be a week post date and will be considered a medical induction rather than an elective induction. My doctor will also be back in town which is good. If this baby comes while my doc is out of town, I'm not going to like it, so kiddo, you have til Wednesday and then you have to wait until late Sunday. Just kidding, you come whenever you are ready and Mommy and Daddy will roll with the punches.

My Mom is scheduled to leave on Monday as well. If we have to induce she will push her flight back one day, but that means she won't get to spend much time oohing and aaahing over the baby and generally getting to spend time with all of us as a family. Because she is in women's health and used to deliver babies, she is a valuable resource and I would like to have her here at least for a little while after the baby arrives to assure me that I am doing okay as a Mother.

Anyways... that's the update. Will keep you posted.

No Baby Yet

Well, today is my official due date and no baby yet. I have been having more frequent contractions, but nothing consistent. I go to the doctor tomorrow morning and will get a non-stress test and a check up and will talk about next steps.

I feel fine, but am ready to meet this baby and know that the outcome of birth is all going to be okay. We are all expecting that every day is THE day, but not yet.

I just realized that this coming Friday is the 13th, which would be funny if the baby was born then because I was born on Friday the 13th. I know most people shy away from all things 13, but I love that number so it would be a great thing for me.

Will try to update tomorrow so you guys aren't waiting on pins and needles.

Hook Em! Baby!

After much hype and much yapping about USC being the best team, blah, blah, blah, the Horns showed up in full glory, played an awesome game and won the National Title! What a great game, and despite the jumping up and down and pacing in the fourth quarter, I did not go into labor. Maybe today?!

After my doctor's appointment on Tuesday I am at 2 cm and 80% effaced. Zero station and still the kid is as happy as can be in womb. Heart rate is good, by BP is good and we are just trucking along. My Mom arrived yesterday and so now I am really ready to have this baby! Let's go, anytime now. I did have more frequent Braxton Hicks during the game, but managed to sleep through the night. Blessings all around.

So, still waiting on baby, but no longer waiting on a National Championship. Hook Em!

Calling all Mommies and Daddies

I want to hear your birth stories. Leave a comment or post on your own site and leave a comment telling me you posted. I want to hear what it was like when you first went into labor. What was it like on your trip to the hospital or to the bedroom if you stayed at home? How did you deal with the pain? What was it like the first moment you saw your baby? Tell me all about it. Daddies, give me your perspective on the whole birth experience. How was it for you?

Since you are probably wondering...

No baby yet. I go back to the doc today and will see where I am at. I still feel great mostly and still would like to wait until my Mom gets here next Wednesday, but whenever this baby is ready, we are. The new moon is this weekend, so hopefully we can make it through that until next week. My mom arrives on Wednesday. Which is a really busy day. I'm not sure what time she comes in, but the Rose Bowl is that day, Hook Em! and I hope to be watching some of that.

In other news...
Christmas was wonderful. We stayed at our house and my MIL and Grandmother in law came and stayed with us for 3 days over the holiday. We did Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and my Dad and Stepmom came up for dinner. It was nice having everyone at our house together celebrating the holiday. My Dad and Stepmom are Jewish, but they came up anyways because I wanted the family dinner all together. My brother went home with his girlfriend for Christmas, so we weren't going to do Hannukah on Sunday even, so it was nice to have as much family together as we had.

We just relaxed and had fun. I didn't have to lift a finger. My MIL and grandmother did all the cooking, cleaning and even some laundry.

Now I am just wrapping things up at work and waiting and waiting and waiting. Every pain or discomfort I get, I go, "Is this it?". I'm ready for the next step in the journey to motherhood. Bring it on.

Peace, Joy and Love to All

Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah. May you be with family and friends and be surrounded in love. May you be safe and happy and healthy this season. May all your wishes come true or at least one good gift be given and received.

God Bless!

And she keeps on talking...

The light and fluffy first:

Doctor update.: 1 cm, 70% effaced, baby happy inside Mommy. Mommy happy about baby happy inside!

Regarding my post below. It was a moment in which I had something to say and I said it and I meant it. Well, now I have more to say. As many of you know, I am half Jewish and half Christian. The half that is Jewish is larger if I may say so in terms of my faith and belief, but the Christian half exists and is growing due to being married to a devout Christian. With that said, I don't want to cause any controversy and I completely respect the holiday that is Christmas. The majority of this country is Christian. Majority wins in general. I think it is a little late for the marketers and media who made Christmas into such a "Hallmark" holiday and the such are now trying to reverse that direction and try and take the real meaning out of it. Christmas is a national holiday. Has been for years. It has always been Christmas Vacation and find me a calendar anywhere that says "Holiday" on December 25th instead of Christmas, and well you can color me red and green and put me on the corner to sing. (???) Get over it.

Now being Jewish and at one time not being married to a devout Christian, I have always had a problem with the assumption by the general public that all people believe exactly as they do. I don't have a problem with people saying Merry Christmas at all. Never have. But for people to assume that one has the same religious beliefs as you is something that bothers me. I know that these two feelings conflict with each other. I really love the Christmas season, which also happens to be the Hannukah season, (Hannukah starts on Christmas day this year) but Jews don't go around assuming everyone else is celebrating Hannukah and wishing everyone a Happy Hannukah. No, Jews tend to reserve saying Happy Hannukah to people unless they know they are in fact Jewish and in fact celebrating that holiday. Again, the majority of this country is Christian and therefore, it might be a good assumption that the person next to you is in fact Christian and does in fact share your religious beliefs, but again, we are assuming something.

I liken it to someone walking around all day on their birthday wishing other people a happy birthday. Now I may be celebrating my birthday, but that doesn't mean you are celebrating yours. Probably quite a stretch I'm making there, but I think you get my drift.

So again, I do not have a problem with Christmas. I love Christmas. I celebrate Christmas. I also celebrate Hannukah. I respect that this country was founded on Christian (Judeo-Christian if I may) values and again, because the majority of this country is Christian, well majority tends to rule in most situations, so why should this be any different. For this reason, I personally choose to say Happy Holidays unless you have first told me Merry Christmas and then I will say it right back to you and mean every syllable.

So with all that silliness, I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, a Happy Kwanza or whatever this season means to you. I will not project my merriment of my holiday(s) on you if you do not want to be projectiled upon.

I'm just sayin'

Not to jump into the controversy fully, but if it looks like a Christmas tree, has twinkly or not twinkly white or colored lights, dependent on your choice. If it has ornaments and stars and presents under it - it's a Christmas Tree. Calling it a Holiday Tree is just stupid. If you believe in Christmas you call it a Christmas Tree. If you don't believe in Christmas, then you don't really call it anything. And if you are truly offended by a tree with round balls all over it? You have bigger problems to deal with.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Regardless of whether you believe in ducks or not.

I'm done... for now.

out.... of.... breath

Is it just me or is it wrong to have to rest after putting on your socks and shoes? Hmm?

Just around the corner

Well, the end is drawing near. Or so they tell me. 37 weeks and counting. I am 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced and go back to the doctor tomorrow. I am very conflicted about this whole birth thing right now. You see, I really want this baby to wait until about January 5th to arrive. This is for a variety of reasons. One of which is that my Mother comes on the 4th. The main reason though is that I do not want my child to have to share his/her birthday with the holidays. My birthday is in December and too often it gets forgotten or glossed over or wrapped into the Christmas/Hannukah celebrations. People are traveling or are sick or are just plain wrapped up in their own holidays at this time of year, which is over course understandable. But I want to be able to have a birthday party for my child and have his/her friends be in town and able to attend. I don't want my child's birthday getting lost in the shuffle.

On the other hand, I cannot wait to meet this little one. I am dying to know if he/she is a he or a she and to start calling him/her by their rightful name. I'm not totally miserable yet, so I am not at the point where I am moaning, "get this baby out of me," but I am at the point where I want to go to the next step. I want to hold my baby and step through to the mommy side of life. I don't know that I am fully prepared for what comes next, but are we ever fully prepared for anything in life? I mean really, with so many unknowns and curve balls in this life, how can we ever truly be prepared? But I'm ready and willing and waiting for the time when the little one decides to make his/her appearance. Whenever that may be, Mommy is as ready as she can ever be.

Christmas Spirit Meme

Stolen from Cori. See, I can get into the Christmas Spirit!

1) What is your favorite Christmas scent? Pine Needles

2) What do you think is the most enjoyable thing to do in the snow? Sled

3) If you were a photographer who was given the chance to go back in history to capture a Christmas photograph, where would you go and what would it be? Hmmm... Maybe the first one ever.

4) Regardless of monetary value, what is the single most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received? I think this year's gift of my baby will be the most meaningful gift ever.

5) If, like Santa, you could take a night flight in a sleigh over any city in the world, which city would you choose? Taos, NM, because that is where my Mom, Sister and Nephews are.

6) What ingredients go into your favorite Christmas drink or beverage? Hot chocolate with a dash of peppermint schnapps (I agree with Cori)

7) Do you prefer blinking or non-blinking Christmas lights? All of the above.

8) Out of all the musical instruments, which one do you think is the most appropriate for the Christmas season? Bells

9) At Christmas time, which do you honestly enjoy more, giving or receiving? Giving

10) Do you have any ethnic or ancestral traditions that you honor during the Christmas season? Well, for Chanukah, we light the Menorah every year. For Christmas we don't really have any ancestral or ethnic traditions

11) Everyone in the office has been asked to place an ornament on the company Christmas tree that best represents him/herself. What would your ornament look like? An elephant. I collect them and so people associate them with me usually. And right now, I am as big as an elephant.

12) If you could spend Christmas in any European country, which one would it be? any one would do for me.

13) If snow could fall in any flavor, what flavor would you choose? A crisp vanilla, (again Cori's answer)

14) What is the longest line you can remember waiting in during the Christmas season? Right now they are all long. I'm a last minute shopper so I get stuck.

15) If you could indulge in only one type of cookie this holiday season, which cookie would you be eating a lot of? Just one, and if you could. Gimme cookies!

16) What gift have you wanted for years but still haven't received? Not sure. I have wanted a shower radio forever, but my parents gave me one this week for my birthday, so that's done.

17) What aspect of preparing for Christmas do you like the most? Decorating the tree and finding all of my favorite ornaments that my Mom has. Only at her house does this work. I love decorating the tree though.

18) What is your favorite Christmas decoration in your home (your tree doesn't count!). I have a cute little snowman with a carrot nose that I love.

19) If you had a great voice and could record a Christmas duet with any famous singer, whom would you choose as your singing partner? hahahahahaha, IF I had a great voice, hahahahaha

20) If you could take a scenic drive anywhere in America this holiday season, where would you most want to drive? Again, Taos, NM to see my nephews at Christmas.

21) What is the biggest change in your life since last Christmas? I'm about to have a baby. I'd say that's a pretty big change. I also in the last two months, started working from home and got a new car. Lots of change.

Cankles, Sausages, Belly and New Car Goodness All Rolled into one

Behold... the cankles and the sausage toes. I believe I am retaining all the water used to shoot The Perfect Storm. Agh. Note the nice little indentions where my fuzzy socks were.

And the belly. My shirt says Special Delivery. I love this shirt. 24 days left til due date!

And of course, my favorite picture of the day, my beautimous new car! I never thought I would drive something this nice, ever in my lifetime. Wowee Kazowee!

And so, my outlook on life is a little better than it was at 4:00 this morning when I wrote that depressing, ba humbug post below.

We are going to get our tree tonight and dammit I will enjoy it all! Ho, Ho, Ho!

Lazy/Ba Humbug Fa la la la la

This time of year always seems to get me in a funk. I don't know why and I try desparately to not let it happen. The holidays always seem to sneak up on me somehow. I say "holidays" because I in fact celebrate Hannukah and Christmas, so to me they are "holidays" as in multiples rather than an avoidance of the true nature of what Christmas is all about. (I'm tired of the atheists being offended by a God they don't believe in, but that is for another post.)

As a child Hannukah was always a time filled with fun and laughter and family. We had big family gatherings at my grandparents house and all eight days of Hannukah we were given gifts. As a kid, this of course is the best thing ever. My brother and I were fairly spoiled with gifts we had asked for and gifts we didn't even imagine to ask for, but that we loved. But, alas, I also got Christmas. Now the other side of my family, the side that celebrates Christmas, wasn't quite as high up on the economic scale and therefore the gifts were usually of a different level. But, Christmas was not without joy. Depending on which parent I was travelling to see of course.

Perhaps that is the core of my unhappiness at this time of year. From the time I was four, I have been flying back and forth between Texas and NM and sometimes Mexico or some other random place my Mother decided to move her nomadic self to, but generally it was New Mexico or Old Mexico. Never were the holidays a nice relaxing fun time. Invariably, my Mother would always search for the cheapest flights which of course meant leaving at un-Godly hours and layovers in airports across Texas. I know the inside of every airport between Houston and Albuquerque as well as the Cancun airport and the Belize Airport. Sometimes layovers would be hours long and other times, I would have to rush from gate 1 to gate 15438 at DFW in less than 15 minutes. As a 13 year old alone, dragging your luggage while crying through the airport on New Year's day (because of course that was the cheapest flight) is not a good childhood memory. I digress.

Christmas on that side of the world was usually filled with decorating the tree all together and remembering all our favorite ornaments as we pulled them out of their protective paper. In the good years, my sister and I would both be with my Mother and actually get to share in the holiday cheer. My gifts that I remember most usually consisted of books and practical things. My grandmother gave us each a book that looked like it had lived 1000 years, a slip of some sort and a variety of shampoos and lotions from hotels that she had visited. Our stockings always contained a piece of fruit. And for some reason, from the time we started wearing it, every year, I would get my sister make-up. This thought dawned on me the other day right before her visit. I don't know why I always bought her makeup. I would buy those big packs with all kinds of stuff in them. Perhaps I was remembering times when I wasn't beating her up and was actually doing sister things like doing her makeup and her hair. Perhaps, I wanted her to remember those times rather than the ones when I locked her in a room from the outside. Who knows, but I hope she never thought that I bought her all that crap because I thought she needed it. She doesn't. She is so beautiful and always has been.

I digress again. Now, for some reason this time of year is always so trying on me. Starting Thanksgiving weekend we have our wedding anniversary, my step-mother's birthday, and of course Thanksgiving. A couple of weeks later, we have my birthday, then my sister's birthday on the 21st and then of course Christmas. Normally Hannukah is thrown somewhere in the middle of December, but for added fun this year, it starts on Christmas Day. So needless to say, the holidays sneak up on me. Christmas/Hannukah are a little more than a week away and I have bought half of the gifts I need to, we have no tree and no real plans for the holiday other than I am trying to get all the family, Christian and Jewish alike to celebrate at our house, like never before, so that the dear pregnant woman does not have to travel across town, twice. Oh yes, did I mention that? I am 9.5 months pregnant. Add that to the mix, and I am a rolling ball of fun. The unknown of it all. When will this baby decide to come?

Every year at this time, we seem to have something big come up that causes hardship on us. Two years ago we got married Thanksgiving weekend. Not really a hardship, but anyone who has ever planned a wedding that included a mixed family, not only divorced, but religiously different as well as 250 guests, knows, that it is not exactly a day at the park. Last year at this time we bought a house and this year, well we are being forced to buy a car, which Insurance God's willing, will happen today. Throw into this mix, the setting up of a home office, with all the troubles that go along with it, hubby being gone on a three day business trip and the nursery, or rather the room with all the baby crap in it, has yet to be finished. And although I appreciate all the kindness my family has shown by doing things to make the nursery perfect, they are not done and I cannot control them and alas, it is driving me crazy, because WHAT IF THIS BABY COMES TOMORROW! Add in some other family drama or trauma, your choice and I just don't have it in me to be all holiday cheerful.

As an adult, and a now married, soon to be parent, I have always wanted the holidays to be a wonderful time, where we are happy and merry and the tree is up right after Thanksgiving and all is well. Where I buy the perfect gift for everyone, including those in my family who are impossible to shop for because they don't want anything, but they do, but it's only something really expensive and really difficult to buy. I want the big family sitting around the tree on Christmas morning, opening all of their perfect presents and the smell of pancakes in the background. I want the perfect little picture, but alas, I cannot build it. I'm too tired.

Last year when we went to pick out our tree, hubby and I got into a fight about which charity's we should donate to instead of buying each other gifts. We were fighting over charity! I won't go into the details... I had tears in my eyes as we picked out our tree. This year, we still have no tree and although we hope to go get it tonight, the idea of doing so after a day of buying a car, trying to finish shopping for gifts (whilst pulling the money for said gifts out of my ass) and trying to set up the printer/scanner/fax/copier that I finally got after working from home for two and half weeks, which of course didn't come with all the necesarry parts, well...the thought of going to buy a Christmas tree after all that, just makes me tired. And then the jaded part of me says, why bother? It will only be up for a two weeks at the most, or invariably, it will be up forever because this baby will decide to come smack in the middle of my holiday misery. Which of course if that happens, good, bad or indifferent, will of course make everything listed above a mute point and I will be happy to just have a healthy, happy baby.

So needless to say, I'm lacking in the holiday cheer department. I'm also writing this wonderful post at 4:30 in the morning and have to get up and be productive tomorrow, but hey, that's what I do these days. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and any other holiday you may celebrate. May you be having a wonderful, happy, funfilled time!

Unattended Children

What a Wonderful Day!

After all my complaining, okay, minimal complaining about having to go into the office yesterday and despite my being up half the night, I had a pretty good day yesterday. My phone rang at 8:30 am and it was my Mom.

Mom: Guess What?
Me: What?
Mom: I'm coming to see you!
Me: What? When?
Mom: Saturday!
Me: (a little shell shocked, but okay) This Saturday?
Mom: Yes, and I'm bring your sister!
Me: What!!!?
Mom: Yep! And the boys!

My Mom, Sister and Twin Nephews will be here tomorrow and I'm so excited I can't stand it. I haven't seen the boys since they were a week and a half old or my sister since then. Mom I saw in September, but I'm glad to see her again before the baby comes. She will be back in less than a month when the baby is born, but she found a great round trip deal on airfare that should couldn't pass up. So I am going to have a great weekend!!!!!

I also went to the doctor yesterday and the little one is cooperating and is appropriately standing on his/her head. Last time he was mooning my crotch. I am happy that there will be no more laying upside down at a 45 degree angle to get the baby to turn. I only did it once, but it was a challenge getting into that position and it isn't very comfortable. I am also 1cm dilated, which for most of you, you know that means absolutely nothing. But I am just glad that he/she is head down. Also points to my doctor for not laughing her ass off when I handed her my four page birth plan. Technically, it is three pages and 5 lines...

It's Friday and I have been up since 5:00 AM. Yuck. I am ready to go back to bed now.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Mama no likey

Mama no likey the look of blogger at 3:00 AM. My first foray into middle of the night blogging is not all it's cracked up to be. You see, I actually have to get up and go into the office tomorrow. This entails taking a shower and putting on make up and clothes that make me look like a professional, not just rolling out of bed, getting dressed and walking into my office. In addition, we're supposed to have highs in the 30's. Highs, people. This is TX. And it's rainy and gross. So bonus points for me for having to go into the office on quite possibly the nastiest day of the year (winter-wise). Yippee for life's littlest challenges.

On another note, I get my car in a week (I hope!)!!!!

Where Do I Belong? (Don't answer that!)

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Sweet Nephewy Goodness

I can't believe they are almost a year old!

Obsessive Planner

I consider myself a pretty laid back person. I like to plan though at least a little bit. I like to know what is coming up at least in the next couple of days or so. I don't particularly like getting caught off guard. I plan, I check the details and then I check them again. I was a planning crazy person for our wedding and I've gotten the bug again.

I know that I will really have no control over how this baby is born. It is up to the baby and Mother Nature really. But I have my ideas of what I want. So I did a birth plan. They say to do one these days if for no other reason than to show the hospital staff that you are educated about your options. I plan to share my birth plan with my doctor for sure and then have copies for the nurses at the hospital. But I may have gone a little overboard. The birth plan is 4 pages long. I might have to do a Cliff Notes version for the nurses. Too much?

Crib Help!

I am having a very difficult time getting a crib. I first registered for a crib at Babies R Us and then it was no longer in stock. So I picked another one from JC Penneys. They had it, but they don't keep cribs in the store and regardless of whether we had it shipped home or to the store, they wanted $130 just for shipping! So now I am on a search for a crib I like. I can find a crib I like, but it won't have all the things I want. I want (I think) at least one drop side. I want (I think) multiple mattress positions and I want a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then to a day bed/full size bed. Now, having never bought or used a crib, I may just think I want these things. So my questions goes out to you dear internet Mommies and Daddies.

What do I really need in a crib? Your suggestions and advice are much appreciated.

Update on Craziness

I am here, but absent. Mainly just busy, so here is a quick recap:

• I have NOT had the baby yet. 6 weeks to go.
• Starting on Thursday I will be working from a home office. Great news. Bad news is I have to completely clean out my current office. By tomorrow. Yikes!
• I still have no car, but will be getting one on December 15th. I can't believe the deal we found and I am getting more car than I ever dreamed of. I'm getting one of these.

• It's a 1999, but it is fully loaded and my hubby says it is heaven. I haven't seen it or driven it, but I cannot wait to get it!!!!!
• Work is crazy busy as I try and finalize all my plans for next year before this baby decides it is time to pop out.
• Still trying to get the baby's room done.
• Trying to get a home office put together.
• Today is my two year wedding anniversary. We both temporarily forgot.
• Today is my step mother's b-day.
• Christmas is coming... (sound effect of Jaws music)
• Hanukkah is coming... (sound effect of Jaws music)
• Did I mention we celebrate both?
• Did I mention they are on the same day this year?
• My birthday is coming up. Not biggie, not on the radar, hubby will be out of town.
• My sister's b-day is coming up.
• I'm broke.
• We only have 2 packages of newborn diapers. Think I need some more? ;-)
• Baby bag is packed. My hospital bag is packed. Car seat is in the car, not installed, but at least it is in the car.
• Did I mention we only have one car right now.

Well that about covers it. What's new with you?

Speedracer has bit the dust

My poor old car has finally had it. It started overheating on Sunday so we took it in yesterday after it started overheating again on my way to work. The short story, it will cost more to fix the car than the car is worth. So, the good news: I get a new car. The bad news: we can't afford one. The bad news also means that instead of waiting until next year and maybe getting what I wanted, we will just have to get me what we can afford. Bummer.

You would think I would be happy about getting a new car. Somewhere deep inside me I am, but part of me is not. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but I will miss that car. It was the first new (used for 1 year) car that I ever had. It would be 10 years old next year. It got me through the end of college and the beginning of my new life in Houston. It made many a trip from Austin to Houston as I commuted back and forth on the weekends between school and boyfriend. I am truly mourning the loss of my car. How silly is that. There are so many things wrong with that car, yet I like my car.

I have spent 5 years locking and unlocking the car from the passenger side because the lock in the driver's door fell out. Until my husbnad put in a CD player and windshielf antennae two year ago, radio was a commodity that I sometimes got and sometimes didn't. Otherwise I used the tape deck or a portable CD player hooked into the lighter. The lighter is just a hole because I lost the lighter part long ago. There are wounds in the car from my smoking days where I didn't quite make it out the window or accidentally rammed my lit cigarette into the ceiling or dropped it in my lap. The hubcap that fell off 7 years ago that I never got fixed is still in the trunk. The ceiling sports some mean water stains due to the sun roof leaking. It was a horrible trip to Dallas in a major storm that was the first time I realized the sun roof leaked. Conveniently, it happened right after my warranty expired. I drove from Austin to Dallas with a drip on my head and a puddle in my passenger seat.

I had my first wreck in that car. It was two days after my first ever speeding ticket. I was 21 years old. Me and my room mate were leaving 6th street and it was drizzling. I was going very slow, but didn't quite stop in time for the red light. I hydroplaned into the Buick in front of me. Not a scratch on the Buick. My car is plexiglass in the front so it was torn up pretty bad. I was hysterical. My newish car, my first wreck. I was sure the car was totalled. It was the end of the world. Yet, I made it through. $2000 worth of damage and a month later, I had my car back in one piece.

I had my second wreck in that car. This one was worse. I pulled out of a blind intersection and was hit by a lady going about 35 miles an hour. Neither of us was too hurt. I had some bruises and hit my head, but my car was not so good. Neither car was driveable. I was even more of a basketcase this time because I had a warrant for an unpaid speeding ticket. Nothing too exciting, just never paid the ticket because I was a) lazy and b) broke and my money went to drinking and school instead of important things like staying out of jail. The police were nice enough to let me go since I was a crying, hysterical ball of estrogen. This time it was more money and more time and the place that fixed it, didn't so much fix it as jam it all back together and call it fixed. It never ran the same.

Goodbye old friend. I will miss you terribly. You have been good to me, even when you didn't want to run and I pushed you anyway. Goodbye.

Times, They Are A-Changin'

What a week of change. I

did finally do something in the baby's room. It's not much but it is a start.

Today I chopped my hair off, about 3.5 inches and I love it!

I got a flu shot today. I don't normally get flu shots, but my doctor suggested I do it just in case, being preggo and all.

I have another shower tomorrow and I'm excited about that. I will get to see my group of girl friends that I really haven't seen much of lately and I miss them.

And then... I have big news. It has to do with work and you know how we shouldn't talk about work, lest we get dooced, but I will tell you that the news involves a moving of offices and less of a drive.

I'm feeling bigger than ever and am definitely in full pregnant glory. Sore hips, slight swelling, waddle and all. So, I've got that going for me.

My dear, sweet hubby drove all the way into H Town today and picked me up a recliner. I have not been so excited to own a recliner in my life. Heck, I never thought I would even own a recliner. But do you know what a recliner means, people? It means I might actually get to sleep in the next 2 months. Yippee for sleep!

All in all, Life... it is good.

Breakin' into the Rap World

I may try to keep this here blog pretty clean, but in real life, I have quite the potty mouth. Some how typing cuss words makes me think twice about "saying" them "out loud". But stick me in a car in everyday traffic and I let it fly. I have even had a baseball player tell me to watch my mouth. That was in my college days where not only did I cuss like a sailor, but I was the Captain Cusser. Now I try to curb it a little more, and there are certain terms that I just won't use anymore except for if I am dangling off the deep end by one thumb, but I still cuss quite a bit. I'm trying to cut down on that of course so as to not have my baby's first word come out as Sh&% or F#$%. My husband doesn't cuss at all. He might occassionally let one slip when he is really mad, but never around me does he let one fly. My husband is constantly calling me big cusser and telling people he is married to a sailor. Just now my husband told me my rap name is Big Cusser.

"I love it when you call me Big Cusser"

Bitchfest '05

I think I have done pretty well during this pregnancy of not complaining since I haven't had too much to complain about. I know that I am very lucky in this regard. But all of that changed last week and now the time has come for Bitchfest November '05.

Walking: walking used be something that I didn't think much about. I just did it. One foot in front of the other, no problem. Now? This baby is so low that sometimes I get up and I don't know if I can walk "around" the kid. Can you please get out of my hips? Nobody likes a waddler.

Sleep: Ah, sleep, that wonderful thing of the past. I know that my body is probably preparing me for nights to come once the little one is here, but being up for 3 hours in the middle of the night for no reason has got to stop. It is especially fun when I have taken Tylen*l PM, but still wake up a couple of hours later in a nice groggy drugged state thinking about things that make no sense what-so-ever, like aliens and Indians. And then I'm up for three hours, for NO REASON. No reason.

Hiccups: The little one has started getting hiccups. It is cute really and I like to keep my hand there and feel him/her fight through them. But last night? I could feel the hiccups in my butt! I don't know what your idea of a great place to hang out is, oh little one, but Mommy's rear end has enough problems, thank you very much. Also, that nice little placement makes Mommy think she has to go to the bathroom, when she really doesn't. But at least just a little pee comes out, so at least it's not a total waste when I waddle to the bathroom 50 times a day and night.

Swelling: I haven't had to deal with swelling too much, but lately it has increased a little. And Mommy no likey. I like my shoes to fit when I put them on. I miss my wedding ring too! And my feet, well, they look better as a size 6 narrow, so please leave them alone. I will drink more water, I promise.

Baby Room: What baby room? This is the baby's room right now.

I'm almost 32 weeks and starting to freak out! What if this baby comes early? We are soooo not ready. Everyday I say I am going to work on it when I go home. And everyday I go home exhausted and tired and lay on the couch like a big sack of lazy. My goal is to tackle it tonight. At least to start. There I said it. Now that it's out there, maybe I will be held accountable and so maybe that will motivate me to actually tackle this room. Agh.

So, I warned you with the name of this post, if you made it this far, congrats. Here's a belly pic.

Showered in baby

I had my first baby shower on Wednesday evening. My dear friend D was nice enough to be the hostess for my work shower. Even though we don't work together anymore, I can't imagine anyone else throwing me a shower. D threw me my first bridal shower too. I had a cute little cake and got lots for the baby. Goodness did I get some great stuff. I really am blessed with wonderful friends and co-workers.

I still have not cleaned out the baby room, but I really do have to get on that soon or this baby will have all his/her clothes still in bags. Will do as soon as I get some time. No, really I will.

I am finally starting to not feel sick which is nice, but sleep evades me every night and I'm getting a little cranky. I know I have to get used to it, but when I'm up for no reason what so ever and I'm exhausted, I don't like it. Being up with a baby at least has a purpose.

This week has been a crazy week with family and friends and ups and downs and I'm really ready for it to be over. We have a wedding that is about 5 hours away this weekend and although I'm looking forward to seeing family I haven't seen since last year, I am dreading the drive.

Junk in the Trunk

My MIL sent this to me awhile back and it made me laugh. I had to share it. It is from a Nike ad.

MY BUTT IS BIG
and round like the letter C
and ten thousand lunges
have made it rounder
but not smaller
and that's just fine.
It's a space heater
for my side of the bed
It's my ambassador
to those who walk behind me (I love this line in particular)
It's a border collie
that herds skinny women
away from the best deals
at clothing sales.
MY BUTT IS BIG
and that's just fine
and those who might scorn it
are invited to kiss it.
JUST DO IT.

Happy Halloween. I'm back at work and hopefully going to make it through the day. Feeling much better, but still dragging a little bit. Thank you for all the words of encouragement to get better. I am officially 30 weeks pregnant. I can't believe it! 2 months to go. And the baby room? Still nothing. But that is changing this week. I got the bed out of there so that is a start!

Sniff

I have been sick for a week and a half now. Cold has kicked my butt. I guess since the baby get's all the good stuff, my body can't fight off the infection. I'm so tired of being sick and tired. Hope to be back soon.

Baby Talk

I am amazed that I have not talked non-stop about this pregnancy. Strange for me. So I thought I would fill you all in on a little baby talk, because who doesn't like baby talk?

On Sunday I will officially by 7 months. Jazzy Baby moves around a lot these days, but mostly at night and in the morning as is usually the case. I have had a pretty easy 2nd trimester. Some small aches and pains, but in general I have felt great and have enjoyed being pregnant. Even in my first trimester I enjoyed being pregnant despite feeling pukey all the time. I guess I just always wanted to be a Mom so I am just thrilled to have this little life growing inside me.

I have read some pregnancy books, but tend to just read as far as I am along. I really need to start getting to that birth and after part so that I am prepared. Speaking of prepared, I'm not really. I mean, I'm as prepared as you can get to be a Mom, but the baby's room? Does not exist. We moved into our house a year ago this Thanksgiving and the guest room was never really unpacked. Well, guess what room is going to be the baby's room? That's right. I have done nothing in terms of cleaning out that room. I keep putting it off and I keep telling hubbie that I can't clean that one out until he cleans the office, because half of what is in the guest room has to go in the office. My first shower is November 2 and if I don't get that room cleaned out, I don't know what I am going to do with all the stuff I have to bring home!

We are doing a surf/beach theme in the room. As most of you know, we do not know if we are having a boy or a girl and won't be finding out until I give birth. I am not a real girlie girl and my hubbie is a big surfer/beach guy and I love the beach too, so hence the theme. I love the colors since they are not pastel, I hate pastels! If we have a girl, it will be a little masculine, but we will add lots of red, my favorite color, and white to tone down the boyishness. Unfortunatley for us, all of this was their summer stuff so most of it is gone. Some of it can be found on ebay and my step mother and MIL bought a lot of it before it left the stores.

We are going to paint the room yellow with a blue ceiling. One wall is going to have a beach mural painted on it. I am going to put those glow in the dark stars on the ceiling so that it looks like night. I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's done. But I guess that means I really need to get started cleaning it out!

We have some basics, like a stroller and carrier, and some clothes, but that is about it. I am slowly starting to freak out about getting ready for this baby. In the next three months I have exactly two weekends that are not booked with a trip out of town or a shower or a wedding or people visiting. TWO free weekends, people. And money for all the stuff we need! I am going to have to pull it out of my butt! I guess I better get used to it. So, I'm starting the slow slide to panic, but I'm not there yet.

I think I felt the baby have hiccups yesterday morning. Felt kind of like a muscle spasm, but it ws pretty consistent on my left side. I am getting bigger and starting to have a harder time getting comfortable at night. I know it's only going to get worse. I have gained some more weight, but feel like I am doing pretty good. As of my last doc appointment I had gained a total of 14 pounds. I hope to stay on that track and gain a total of 30. I'm surprised at how well I have done considering I was slightly overweight when I got pregnant and I eat ice cream and gummi bears almost every day. Watching the Astros game they were talking about Eckstein who plays for the Cardinals (booooo) and saying that he is 5'7" and weighs 165. I am 5'3" and weigh 164. Maybe I can go play major league baseball? I thought it was pretty funny.

Well, that's the update.

In other baby news, Bekah is going to be an Aunt today. Go tell her congrats!!!!!!!!!

Blog it Forward

No, not the kind we are used to, well kind of. This week, not one, but two of my friends have broken down and started blogging. I am so excited!!!!

Ms. Southern Snob just got married a couple of weeks ago, I got to be the token pregnant bridesmaid! And the title of her blog does not do her justice, because she is so NOT a snob.

And my friend D left me here at work to go work from home lucky dog, but now I can keep up with her on her blog.

Both of them are dear friends of mine and I am so glad they decided to start blogging! Let the blog addiction begin!! Now go say hi!

What to do with a belly for Halloween?

I don't really want to go to a costume party dressed as a pregnant nun. That's so old news and so ordinary. So I'm looking to you dear internet and your breadth of creativity to help me come up with a costume for me and my belly.

Some ideas I have seen are to go as Brittany Spears pregnant and my hubbie to go as Kevin Federline, but I don't think I want to show that much skin and I don't think I can talk hubby into that one. Also, painting the belly. I also thought I could just take a baby outfit and pin it upside down onto a shirt and go as a pregnant Mommy. Boring.

So help! What should I go as? Possible prizes to be awarded for best ideas and the idea that I use. Special bonus points for it being cheap and easy, because, hello, I'm pregnant!

Vacation Pictures

View from Sheraton in Boston

Boston Architecture
Plymouth Rock
Mayflower II
Cheers - The Original
Fog in Booth Bay Harbor, Maine
Lighthouse
Schooner
Doggie Driver
Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I'm back, but swamped.

Just a couple of quick things to update.

Vacation was fabulous! Pictures to come soon!

Baby getting bigger. Glucose test fine despite gallons and gallons of ice cream and tons of gummi bears I eat now.

UT beat the hell outta OU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooo hoooo!

Astros went the distance and beat the Braves!!!!!!!!! Woooooo Hoooooo!

Texans kept to their potential and lost as usual. We've come to expect that.

Work crazy. It took me all day to get through my 400+ emails.

Running out of time to do anything for this baby including getting showered. We have so many weddings and out of town trips in the next three months, we may have to baby shower after the baby is already here!

I'm glad to be home, but I need a vacation from my vacation.

Maine here we come

In all this Rita talk, I had not really had time to get excited about our upcoming vacation. We leave on Saturday for a week up in the great Northeast. We fly into Boston and then on to this place for a week of relaxation and exploration. I am so excited! I have never been to this area of the country and can't wait to see what a real Fall looks like with changing leaves and the like.

I did just look at the weather up there and OMG High of 70ish and lows in the 40's. I'm gonna freeze. Lucky for me I have a built in oven on my belly, but I am still going to freeze. I know those of you that live in those areas are laughing your butts off at me, but today we have a heat index of 115 possible. Right now it is almost 5 and it feels like 104. so dressing for the plane ride from here to Boston should be interesting.

I have nothing to wear in cold weather seeing as none of my normal winter clothes fit over my belly. I guess it's time for a belly shot too. I'll get right on that.

Rita not so Rocky for Houston

Well, I'm back to the grind and things are fairly normal for me, but I am one of the lucky ones. We safely made it to Austin on Thursday evening. It took us about 6.5 hours, which compared to some people's nightmare trips, was nothing. I took us through the back roads of southeast Texas and it worked out well for us. Luckily we live on the northside of Houston so we didn't have to come through all the bad traffic and we didn't have to get on any major freeway until we got to Austin.

It took my MIL 9.5 hours to get from her house to our house which is normally a 1 hour drive. She left her house at 1 in the morning too, but that didn't help. My parents went to Shreveport, we have family there, to ride out the storm. It took them 17 hours to get there (it's normally a 4-5 hour drive). And unlucky for them, Rita passed right over Shreveport at some point. They got a lot of rain, but other than that are okay.

Granted, my experience was a pretty good one so I am probably not a good cross section, but I think the state and local officials did a pretty good job with the evacuation. There really is no good way to evacuate 3 million people. The main problem really is the gas shortage. We still don't have gas at any station near our house, but right now I am okay on gas.

I'm so glad that all of my family and friends made it through this storm safe. My heart goes out to those in East Texas and Western Louisiana who were not so lucky. I'm sorry for their losses.

Thank you to everyone who had good wishes for me and my family. We did come home to find our two pear trees from our front yard laying mostly in the street. We lost one completely it looks like, but the other one may be salvagable. It will look funny without it's twin though. All in all not too bad. The winds were still strong when we got home on Saturday, but other than that we have had hot, humid weather, with heat indexes of 112 possible today. Fun stuff.

Safe and Sound

Yesterday we decided to be better safe than sorry and made our way to Austin. We waited for my mother in law who left her house at 1 AM Thursday morning and got to our house, normally an hour and 15 minute drive, 9.5 hours later. Poor thing. Then we turned around and got in out cars and drove to Austin. I took us a bunch of back roads, some out of the way, but we got to Austin in about 6 hours, which considering what has happened to some people, is really good. And we both had half tanks of gas. We are safe and it looks the like worst of the storm will miss us. I am praying for all those in the direct path of Rita though. If you are still in the path, be safe and God bless.

No Ritas for Me

I guess Rita hasn't heard that I am pregnant and therefore not allowed any of her kind. I guess she doesn't really care.

At this time we are planning on riding the storm out at the house. Work is an unknown for the next two days, but I will for sure not be around on Friday, but tomorrow is questionable. I hope to at least be able to leave early the next two days as the major route home is also one of the major evacuation routes.

So, everyone who might be affected by this storm, be careful, be safe and be smart. God Bless.

Pooper slots

My husband just called me pooper slots. And that is normal believe it or not. No wonder I ended up with the name Shooter.

Babbling Post

I've been crazy busy and hence the no posting lately. So here is what has been going on lately in a nutshell.

Work is nuts; moved my office across the building from the rest of my department because we ran out of room and I'm the only one that is moveable. And I'm so busy that I haven't had time to unpack a thing except what was on my desk when I moved.

We leave in two weeks for a week vacation to Maine (yippee). Leave on the day of a major event in which I have to have all of my holiday events planned and printed.

In wedding this past weekend. It was beautiful and the bride was gorgeous. I'm exhausted. I can't hang like I used to. Got to dance which I haven't done since before I got pregnant. There is something just wrong about a 6 month pregnant woman rolling to Usher. But I had a blast.

Have another wedding next weekend. Have 3 more between then and the end of the year. Fun stuff really.

Oh and we are in the middle of planning for next year at work on top of everything else.

We have done absolutely zero on the baby's room. In fact, I haven't even cleared out the room from when we moved in last Thanksgiving.

So, needless to say, Momma is exhausted and busy and blogging has unfortunately taken a back seat. I miss it though and hope to be back soon.

Oh and hubby bought us a computer. Not sure when we get it or when we will get internet, but OMG I am excited!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Question Day

How do you make a connection?

A Tree For Ethan

I keep meaning to post this link and I keep forgetting. T & R have decided to plant trees in honor of little Ethan. They will plant one in their backyard and one at the cemetery. If you would like to donate, go to www.atreeforethan.com.

A Brand New Day

A brand new day

This past week has been a trying week. This post is going to be a combination of things and at times will probably not make much sense, but I have to get out some of what is on my mind. This is not a happy post and deals with the loss of a child, so if you are pregnant, you may not want to read any further.

First let me say that the tragedy in the gulf coast has not been forgotten by me and I am doing what I can to help the efforts here in Houston to make the lives of those poor people a little bit better, but last week another tragedy affected me far more deeply.

Last Wednesday I received a phone call from a friend with horrible news. My friend T and her husband R lost their baby at 37 weeks. Almost full term. It was the last thing I was expecting to hear. T had gone in for a routine doctor's appointment to find out that little Ethan no longer had a heartbeat. Tami spent Wednesday and half of Thursday in labor and about 12:30 PM on Thursday delivered Ethan at a little over 5 lbs. It looks like Ethan just ran out of room and put too much pressure on his umbilical cord so that it stopped supplying him with what he needed. Saturday they had the funeral for Ethan and it was the most difficult thing I think I have ever done. Burying anyone close to you is never easy, but burying a child is something that no one should ever have to do. The service was beautiful and Ethans parents held up amazingly well. I did not hold up so well. I cannot begin to fathom the pain they are experiencing. My heart breaks when I see the pain they are going through and I wish that I could somehow take some of that pain away. Please keep T and R in your prayers as well as their families in this trying time. T and R have a strong faith and I am so thankful that they have God to bring them through this. It will take time to heal, but I have no doubt in my mind that they will come through this and they will do wonderful things because of this experience. It's hard to see God's lessons right now, but I can only hope that good will come out of this tragedy in some form or fashion. Rest in peace Ethan MH.

This tragedy has been very difficult for me to deal with. The death of a child to me is more tragic than most due to the fact that they haven't gotten to lead full lives. In Ethans' case, he didn't even make it out into the world. Yet he was so very loved and his short life had such an impact on so many people. Our tight group of friends has come together during this time of sorrow in a way that makes me proud to call myself a part of that group. Having someone so close to you deal with a pain so unimaginable reminds us all of our fragility and vulnerability. I remember going to bed on Wednesday night and thinking to myself how exposed I felt. Being pregnant, I cannot help but be scared for myself and my baby. Not only have my friends been rallying for T and R, but they are worried about me and as much as this event is so not about it, it makes me feel a little less exposed that so many people care. Even T herself asked me how I was feeling. How she could even think about me at a time like that, I don't know. I know that I have to stay positive and that the odds of this tragedy happening to me are low, but again I'm reminded of how fragile we are.

Many would think with an event like this, that I would be questioning my faith. It has in fact done the opposite. I have prayed so much in the last few days. In fact that is all I seem to be able to do. Until recently, faith to me has been something that others had, but not me. For some background, I was 12 years old before I had any real religious upbringing. From age 12 through 18, I was raised Jewish. I went to Hebrew school every week. I was Bat Mitzvah'd, I was confirmed and I graduated from Hebrew school. but in all those years I learned little about Faith and God was not a strong pressence in my life. (Or so I thought) At times in high school I proclaimed to be atheist or agnostic. In college I was agnostic. In the last couple years I have found faith. I tend to relate to Judaism in the "organized religion" sense, but I don't attend synagogue and due to my husband's strong faith in Christianity, I have adopted some of the principles of Christianity. With the exception of Jesus as the Son of God. I am still aligned with Judaism on this major point. I am not by any means trying to get into an argument with anyone, so please do not take that last statement as a war cry. I am merely trying to find my way, to fine my faith. I had recently decided that I would really try and give my husband's church a try. It is very important for me to show a unified front and to teach my children faith. Just because I don't have an alignment with any organized religion does not mean I do not have a relationship with God. I have a very strong relationship with God. I pray a lot, but I also know that I need to do more and be more, but I'm not sure what that is yet. I want my children to know God and to have faith in their lives. I think back to the time in my life when I didn't have faith and can tell a major difference in my happiness and the ease in which I lived my life. I am a prime example of the power of faith and I will never forget that. I needed to feel close to God this week, so I went to church with hubby on Sunday. I really don't like his church, but wanted to give it a try because he has become very involved in this church and likes it very much. I have found that I like the preaching style of Joel Osteen. He preaches in a way that is not offensive and that doesn't turn off non-Christians. I realize one of the major commitments of being a Christian is to convert others to Christianity, but that is all I feel I get from the church hubby goes to. In my mind church should be a comforting, uplifting, learning experience. The preacher at hubby's church is constantly preaching about how we are all sinners and nothing is ever good enough and opens every service with an announcement and hand out to all visitors and a call to action to become a believer. This type of talk has always turned me off. I have a lot of very good friends who have a strong faith in Christianity and I admire their faith. I can have wonderful religious conversations with these friends and never do I feel abused or lesser of a person because I do not have the same faith as them. I know that really if I don't believe in the main premise of Christianity, that I won't in theory be able to get the most out of church, but I will watch Joel Osteen preach and feel as though I am learning something and feel uplifted and want to be better because of his sermon, not feel like lesser of a person. My point in all this is where do I go from here, (hypothetical question here). I am thinking of going to a local synagogue to see how I feel about that. I am lost and still trying to find my way, but I have to find something that not only works for me, but that will work for my family. I cannot ask my hubby to compromise his beliefs, yet I have to find something that will work for both of us as we build our family.

As you can see, the tragedy of the past week has really done a number on me and I am working through a lot of things. I am talking to the baby a lot and he/she is kicking me a lot, which I take as a good sign. I treasured every movement before, but now I will for sure not take any of this pregnancy for granted.

May today find you happy, healthy and thankful for all that you have. I know that I am. God Bless.