You're Killin' Me

You guys are killin' me.

Okay, like I said, I probably have at least one embarrassing moment a day, but here's the high school story.

I walked into English class one day, I think it was my junior year, and sat down like I always did. I immediately found myself flat on my back with my desk attached to my ass and my skirt over my head. One of the boys in the class had switched my desk with a desk that had a bent leg so that when I sat down, the whole desk fell over, with me in it. Since I was wearing a shortish skirt. I couldn't hold my skirt and get myself up so I just had to lay there humiliated until some of the boys picked up the desk with me in it. The class got a good laugh, I got a red face and wanted to cry, but I think I was able to just laugh it off.

I remembered another very embarrassing moment, so you guys get two now. You better spill after this. The year I turned 21, my best friend thought it would be fun to surprise me with a stripper. I am not the least bit interested in strippers. I worked in bars for 5 years in college and saw my share of strippers and they just never appealed to me. But my best friend thought it would be a hoot to hire one for me. Partially because it is very hard to surprise me and partially because where she had him show up was extremely embarrassing. My birthday is in the middle of December and somewhat close to Christmas so Mel thought it would be fun to have the stripper dance at our holiday Christmas party. Mel and worked at the same bar and we always had the holiday party at the bar. So there we are, surrounded by about 50 people we WORK with and in comes this stripper. So I see him and I think, who in the world is getting a stripper. Me! They put me in the middle of the dance floor (keep in mind, this is a country bar with a dance floor the size of a skating rink) by myself and put me in a chair. The guy starts to do his thing. Not only is he not really attractive, well, just ewww. He tried to get me to slap his ass with his belt. Every picture of me there is, I have my hands up by my head in a, "please don't touch and me and don't make me touch you" stance. It really was embarrassing to have to sit there by myself as all of my co-workers laughed at me. Mel got me and she got me good. Come to think of it, I don't know that I ever got her back for that. Hmmm.

So there you go, not one, but two embarrassing moments in my life.